March 9-10, 2012
I'd probably forget the day but in my whole career this was probably the longest time I have clocked in. It's different when there's some pressure and your brain cells are squeezed dry from all the thinking and the fatigue. I mean I can last a whole day and I even had a 18 hour workday but it was for a scheduled shutdown and some of it was because we were on standby. This was different and the challenge was too much for me to handle that it actually broke me...
When I said I was having a hard time facing, coping and adjusting to the "real life" I was not exaggerating. Like I realized in my previous post, I had a pretty sheltered, pampered life. It was hard for me to adjust to the environment, the weather, the language, the lack of amenities, the self-reliance I have to muster, being alone, the desolate state of my apartment (and dirty), the budgeting of my measly allowance considering the high cost of living among others. I tried to hold it in and I thought I was able to keep it together. But 24 hours of no sleep and the possibility of God knows how many more extension was the straw for me.
I thought I would win the bet with a colleague. Little did I know that I'd end up crying not because of the sadness or homesickness but because of the hardship I was facing. Do I regret crying? I will probably but I guess I reached a point I didn't know if I could handle anymore. It was too much too soon for me. I was actually praying to God, please no more. Do I regret taking this assignment? No, not yet at least. I know this is for my own good and it is already showing me the lessons, growth and learning not just for work but life in general that I can gain from this. Sometimes you really have to step out of your comfort zone so you can evolve and mature. I stepped in a war zone by my standards. Hopefully, I last. God help me.
I'd probably forget the day but in my whole career this was probably the longest time I have clocked in. It's different when there's some pressure and your brain cells are squeezed dry from all the thinking and the fatigue. I mean I can last a whole day and I even had a 18 hour workday but it was for a scheduled shutdown and some of it was because we were on standby. This was different and the challenge was too much for me to handle that it actually broke me...
When I said I was having a hard time facing, coping and adjusting to the "real life" I was not exaggerating. Like I realized in my previous post, I had a pretty sheltered, pampered life. It was hard for me to adjust to the environment, the weather, the language, the lack of amenities, the self-reliance I have to muster, being alone, the desolate state of my apartment (and dirty), the budgeting of my measly allowance considering the high cost of living among others. I tried to hold it in and I thought I was able to keep it together. But 24 hours of no sleep and the possibility of God knows how many more extension was the straw for me.
I thought I would win the bet with a colleague. Little did I know that I'd end up crying not because of the sadness or homesickness but because of the hardship I was facing. Do I regret crying? I will probably but I guess I reached a point I didn't know if I could handle anymore. It was too much too soon for me. I was actually praying to God, please no more. Do I regret taking this assignment? No, not yet at least. I know this is for my own good and it is already showing me the lessons, growth and learning not just for work but life in general that I can gain from this. Sometimes you really have to step out of your comfort zone so you can evolve and mature. I stepped in a war zone by my standards. Hopefully, I last. God help me.
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