stalker mode!

i just have to post this!!!!

so i just learned yesterday that subscribing to email alerts from multiply is actually equivalent to me having viewed each and every single new post of my contacts! to think that all along, i thought i was abstaining from multiply or rather cutting back on my "multiply addiction". what the heck! i feel such a stalker tuloy! (caught in the act-I'm innocent though honest!) so will this make me unsubscribe from the email alerts and stop perusing endlessly my contacts' posts? Or probably settle with notification alerts regarding "what I've missed"? NOT! hahahaha =)

on other news, I now have a copy of hip-hop abs! whopee! thanks cy!!! let's see what'll happen! (i do hope i allot time for it! KATAM stay away from me!!! hehehehe)

jitters...

stressful days here i come...
again...

aside from the stressful days ahead, i'm dreading the change/adjustment i need to make... if i am to be honest right now, i really feel that my world will shrink... of course, i don't want that to happen because maintaining the bonds that i have established so far is one of the things that keeps me sane and happy not to mention somewhat satisfied with my life. if it weren't for them i'd probably be sulking over my status. yes i may have anti-social tendencies but it's different when you have the ability to decide about it than when you are left with no choice. This will probably be a test on how strong the bonds are but I don't think I am ready for the outcome. This is a classic example of resistance to change. I am satisfied with the status quo that if possible I want things to stay where they are right now. I hope things will fall into place both at work and outside. Friends, should I be on MIA just holler! I'm just on the other end. =)

pardon for the dramatic post. deep inside i really fear i'll lose touch esp to some... I really don't want that to happen coz i really value the bonds i have right now. To all my friends, thanks so much!

where are you? for some reason today i miss you...
i've kept my heart locked up somewhere inside me
away from a stranger's grasp
will it continue beating
for you
for who
for a someone
or will it die
time's running out
is it turning to be a hopeless case?

"Am I supposed to be happy? All I ever wanted it comes with a price..."
looks can be deceiving...

an unlikely combination

somehow i can't get over the dream i had early today. or it was more of a nightmare? again it was so vivid-so much that my emotional state in the dream stuck. Hence, I'm still somewhat burdened/saddened/bothered about it.

sama ng loob

that's what i felt. it was the recurring feeling throughout the dream. and as if it wasn't enough the phrase kept on being mentioned all throughout the dream. either it was a narrator or me in the dream who kept on saying: "ang sama-sama ng loob ko!" It was weird alright but considering the people involved in my dream, i could only hypothesize what the dream really meant.

Many times I've dreamt something so real but then none of them ever came true. Only those Freudian slips which I don't have any recollection of except probably the rare instances of deja vu. So this time I dreamt of another ghost from my past but this time paired with a familiar face to me but not likely to him. It was an extremely unlikely combination. For one, they don't know each other. The ghost, P, is a neighbor and is a few years older (numbers wise). And the "girlfriend" was either a C/K, but the nickname is also a name for snacks. C/K was a batchmate of the same course from college. Now would you look at that.

I guess it only goes to show my feelings deep down as well as the confusion inside. But inspite of this, I can't seem to cry about this though. So this is just nothing. Probably just some reminder that I'm human and is still very much susceptible to pain despite my best efforts to hide and build walls around me...

I am surrounded by people
but I feel alone
I am alone

80kph along Ortigas Ave extension

+ C5 coming from SB silver city = home in about 20 minutes.

that's rare! =)

i miss a lot of food, people, activities, sessions, events, happenings, etc...

Good thing I got to eat in Green Tomato yesterday! Ordered my usual Shrimp Feta. Man, I missed it so much. BUT I still miss the sausage like the one they have in Philam makati... oh well... Wonder if there's TOSH in the ortigas area. missing their elusive aligue pasta... hehehe =) next time! =)


***finally gave in. after 20 days i logged on to multiply again. my motivation? 4 pending multiply invites. but then i just breezed through the stuff in there and quickly logged out. whereas before i'd scrutinize and look at every nook and corner of my contacts' posts... still feeling a lil snobbish on multiply and friendster. hehehe =)