somehow i can't get over the dream i had early today. or it was more of a nightmare? again it was so vivid-so much that my emotional state in the dream stuck. Hence, I'm still somewhat burdened/saddened/bothered about it.
sama ng loob
that's what i felt. it was the recurring feeling throughout the dream. and as if it wasn't enough the phrase kept on being mentioned all throughout the dream. either it was a narrator or me in the dream who kept on saying: "ang sama-sama ng loob ko!" It was weird alright but considering the people involved in my dream, i could only hypothesize what the dream really meant.
Many times I've dreamt something so real but then none of them ever came true. Only those Freudian slips which I don't have any recollection of except probably the rare instances of deja vu. So this time I dreamt of another ghost from my past but this time paired with a familiar face to me but not likely to him. It was an extremely unlikely combination. For one, they don't know each other. The ghost, P, is a neighbor and is a few years older (numbers wise). And the "girlfriend" was either a C/K, but the nickname is also a name for snacks. C/K was a batchmate of the same course from college. Now would you look at that.
I guess it only goes to show my feelings deep down as well as the confusion inside. But inspite of this, I can't seem to cry about this though. So this is just nothing. Probably just some reminder that I'm human and is still very much susceptible to pain despite my best efforts to hide and build walls around me...
I am surrounded by people
but I feel alone
I am alone
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