I've been here for more than a year now (give or take if you count vacation time back in the P.I.) and it's been great. I have a more comfortable and convenient life. I didn't even realize how comfortable because of how I've been trying to maintain the same standard of living as I had in Manila before moving here with more savings (for a debt I'm trying to pay off and for the wedding). I think I only bought two nice bags and one watch which weren't even that expensive considering I am a sucker for GOOD deals. That hit me hard last year though as I was partially trying to save up some money to refinance the car I bought and had incorrect tax deductions. The money I saved up for refinancing purposes just had to be paid back to the government. (*sigh) Hopefully, I wouldn't have to pay additional $$ for taxes.
My job has allowed me to meet all sorts of people, most of the time interesting and nice. Of course, there are those that you'd rather not meet again for a second time. It has given me the opportunity to travel and have taken me to multiple States mostly in the East/MidWest. Mixing business with leisure I got to also meet friends and family as well as landmarks. I do like what I do, the continuous learning process, the fact that stress levels only last for a week and you start again afterwards for a new batch of trainings. I am lucky and grateful where I am now.
However, not everything is perfect and I live a mostly solitary life right now. I escaped my comfort zone in the company of family, loved ones and close friends for the above and the promise of an adventure. I thought that I could replicate or outdo the experience I had in Korea. To meet and hang out with awesome people, to try dancing, to try hiking, biking for miles and miles, to push myself to the limits, to be carefree. Why do I find it difficult now to socialize and embrace an activity instead of confining myself in this dark and empty apartment? Why have I become so lazy and picky? Drinking and partying is not really thing. I'd rather go exploring or finding new things. I should start somewhere and I know just the thing.
A couple of weeks ago, my mom came over for a visit. I am recovering right now from juggling between work and entertaining and things in between but I miss having her around. It suddenly just hit me why did I leave it all behind. But then again, as she said, you can't have everything. Maybe just maybe, if I were just thinking of myself, I'd just pack my bags and head back home after my bond is up. But as it stands, there is that future, of marriage and building my own family. Regardless, I believe that no matter which choice we make, He will be there with us for the journey. For now, even as I struggle LDR included (I terribly miss being with him), I have go back to the routine, to be able to be my own source of happiness and not to depend on anyone else. I am happy of the time my mom and I got to spend and bond together. We've had our share of ups and downs, but somehow I feel that as it should, that bond between mothers and daughters is stronger.
I am here to grow, maximize my potential and share God's gifts to me. It has in some ways helps me to prepare of what's to come next. And I look forward to it, as long as it is with him, who continues to stick out for me, who never gives up on me.
My job has allowed me to meet all sorts of people, most of the time interesting and nice. Of course, there are those that you'd rather not meet again for a second time. It has given me the opportunity to travel and have taken me to multiple States mostly in the East/MidWest. Mixing business with leisure I got to also meet friends and family as well as landmarks. I do like what I do, the continuous learning process, the fact that stress levels only last for a week and you start again afterwards for a new batch of trainings. I am lucky and grateful where I am now.
However, not everything is perfect and I live a mostly solitary life right now. I escaped my comfort zone in the company of family, loved ones and close friends for the above and the promise of an adventure. I thought that I could replicate or outdo the experience I had in Korea. To meet and hang out with awesome people, to try dancing, to try hiking, biking for miles and miles, to push myself to the limits, to be carefree. Why do I find it difficult now to socialize and embrace an activity instead of confining myself in this dark and empty apartment? Why have I become so lazy and picky? Drinking and partying is not really thing. I'd rather go exploring or finding new things. I should start somewhere and I know just the thing.
A couple of weeks ago, my mom came over for a visit. I am recovering right now from juggling between work and entertaining and things in between but I miss having her around. It suddenly just hit me why did I leave it all behind. But then again, as she said, you can't have everything. Maybe just maybe, if I were just thinking of myself, I'd just pack my bags and head back home after my bond is up. But as it stands, there is that future, of marriage and building my own family. Regardless, I believe that no matter which choice we make, He will be there with us for the journey. For now, even as I struggle LDR included (I terribly miss being with him), I have go back to the routine, to be able to be my own source of happiness and not to depend on anyone else. I am happy of the time my mom and I got to spend and bond together. We've had our share of ups and downs, but somehow I feel that as it should, that bond between mothers and daughters is stronger.
I am here to grow, maximize my potential and share God's gifts to me. It has in some ways helps me to prepare of what's to come next. And I look forward to it, as long as it is with him, who continues to stick out for me, who never gives up on me.
