procrastinating

been putting off a lot of skulwork for the past weeks especially this past weekend. been trying to solve this ES12 problem since an hour ago and i made no progress. kaya ito net na lng muna baka sakali all of a sudden, the answer will mysteriously reveal itself to me... hehe:) well anyway, events:

Sat., NOv. 27 - 21st wedding anniversary nina mama. Mr. and Ms. Siena nung gabi, kasali bro ko and ako ang official photographer/camera"woman". unfortunately he lost... tanga lang ng mga judge!haha:)

Sun., Nov. 28 - my dad left for Australia for a work-related seminar while the rest of us except my mom were still sleeping. come afternoon, bigla nagyaya mom ko to watch a movie. went to makati... watched polar express in gb3, but beforehand we heard Mass first sa Parish dun. (double purpose). kaya ok ang galle and makati e...:) ganda pla ng moviehouse sa gb3, mas madalas kasi g4 kami e. bad trip lang coz, the people behind our seats esp the kids were so unruly and madaldal and maingay. so much for expecting kids to be well-behaved considering the venue...

nuff said, it's back to work for me!--kailangan!!!!

vehicles

There was a nationwide transport strike today, and as was expected, classes were suspended in most schools. I was informed beforehand of the pending strike and my parents convinced me to just drive to school to avoid any inconvenience. I was hesitant to do so for a couple of reasons. First, I am trying to save me as much money possible in time for the Christmas season and commuting saves me more money what with the rocket high price of gasoline nowadays. Second, the color coding scheme prevents me from being in the streets between 7am to 7pm on a thursday, and my class was from 830-530. I didn’t like the idea of going to school early and leaving late. But going home this afternoon, after the suspension of classes in UP from 1 onwards i saw that the streets were unusually "maluwag" and that not a lot of public vehicles(e.g. bus, jeepneys) were around. there weren't really that much stranded commuters but maybe because it was still a bit early(4pm) and that i took the less traversed road. twas a good thing that i did drive though for the coding was lifted and i was ok except with the mishap involving an empty radiator and an almost overheated engine.

i noticed a peculiar sound since morning while driving and dismissed it as something that will pass after i restart the engine but then again it didn't. i even went to commonwealth ave after lunch to accompany ate kim and jp. she was going to place orders for our org jacket and scout for trophies as well to be used in the Research Fair this JAnuary. (trophies pla are expensive na!) anyway, after missing two u-turn slots, we were back in UP to watch the volleyball match between UP ALchemes and Eng'g Soc (some of the current members of Alchemes are also members of the other org). in reality these events lead to bringing down the temperature of the car to a manageable level such that it reached overwhelming "hotness" when i reached junction. whew! an emergency call to my dad, a mechanic on the emission testing center allowed me to go home with the car safe and sound. lesson learned:always have some water at hand, fill the radiator with water, and know where the f***ing fan/conveyor belt is.hehe:)

anyway, enuf of this. have to study again. joyce has to be on nerd mode again.:)

Hilo

Nakakatuwang isipin pro lagi na lang na tuwing pakiramdam ko ay maayos na ang kalagayan ko emotionally ay bigla na lang anjan ulit ang cause of my emotional disturbance… since june, my emotions were like on a roller coaster ride, constantly being tested… first there was the instance when I realized I cared for someone only when it was too late. Or so I thought and then comes the opportunity but the timing and scenario wasn’t at all right. The one I cared for supposedly fell in love with me too. But he told me at a time when I previously had a chat with “his gf”. Whoa! Then after, he explained things after which naguluhan ako also to whether or not say what I feel too or not. And then bigla prang nag-iba ugali nya. Tapos weeks passed after so much crying and recovering bigla my flowers ka na marereceive. Pakshet!malakas na nga tama mo sa tao, susulpot pa xa kung kalian inaayos mo na sarili mo. Iiwas ka, no reply whatsoever coz u feel it was some sort of a peace offering pra magkaroon ng closure. Tapos bigla email nmn xa bigla as if nothing happened! As if hindi naman siya nang-gago! Since hindi ka na feeling bitter and may feelings ka pa sa kanya anjan ka naman ok na ulit. Pro hindi namn actually hoping... tapos magbibigay sya ng rason para umasa ka ulit.o kung hindi man bigyang buhay kung anuman naramdaman mo. Kala mo maayos na ang lahat, balik masaya na ulit kayo and then ulit.... Weeks, nothing... haay...

Kanina habang pauwi ako, bigla ko lang naramdaman ang kakaibang gaan. Sabi ko wow I’m ready to move on and let go of him and hopes that he’ll come back and that mahal nga nya ako. Na-amaze pa nga ako sa sarili ko coz it took me a relatively shorter time compared sa dati to start letting go... and it’s not impossible na whatever he felt for me before kung totoo man ay wala na... ipagdarasal ko pa rin sya sabi ko gaya nung dati ko. I felt that I can actually go to chapel once again without being ashamed etc. malungkot ako dahil wlang kapalit pro ayos lang kasi nagiging ok na ako.

Tapos pag-uwi mo may email ka na matatanggap, reply niya sa email mo nung October pa. Langya!ano ba? Nothing wrong with the email. Pro it kinda makes me wonder, dapat pa ba akong maniwala sa kanya. Ganti lang ba nya un sa matagal mo ring nde pag-reply sa kanya dati?kung ready na ako to move on, bakit ngaun disturbed pa rin ako?... kung friendship lng un, ah ewan. Nahihilo na ako... lasing ata ako...

P.S. am perfectly fine now!kebs!hehe:) ang stupid q lang tlaga nun!ehehe:p- 12/05/04

lalang...pizza hut Galle with mah bro in da background!:) this was taken last sun, Nov.21.im so vain and pacute!!!!!haha:) but for a valid reason, ayt?:)

women in UP

cheers for the new UP President! Chancellor Roman! i don't know if she's lucky or what pro all i know is ang laki ng prestige ng magiging term nya coz (1): centennial ng UP sa 2008 and (2): she's the first ever woman President of UP! anyway, hope maging maganda pamamalakad nya and save UP from its supposed downfall...must be women power this time for the new Engg dean is also well - a woman! my theory will be put to the test na since the salary of professors, etc. in UP is so small compared to their counterparts in other private schools, males esp. those na breadwinners either don't stay that long and are outnumbered in UP by women or they have other sidelines... so if women are not the breadwinners there's a possibility na mas hands-on ang approach nila. hmmm... atanacio kasi (ex dean) prang mumu sa engg e si ma'am guev kakaupo pa lang hala dami na utos!hehe:) basta i'm for improvement whether or not abutan ko pa un as a student i don't care!basta meron!

it's my sis bday today!:) haberdei Janna!:)

guilty majority

With only four hours of sleep and 5 subjects to work on, i really shouldn't be "blogging about". But the call of blog is much too tempting to resist.

well anyway, i wanted to write something about the article i read in Kule' regarding the "blog wave" and how Filipinos are not able to fully utilize the potential of using blog or "poliblog" so to speak to effect changes in society. yes, i must say i am one of the guilty "majority" who chose to be anonymously open to the "public" by making my journal known and accessible to all. Maybe the time is not right for me to engage in such poliblog... i feel that apathy is a trait very common to most of us. People would prefer to indulge in boosting their egos and laying themselves open to public scrutiny not by what they think in reaction to social or other like issues but of other trivial things (e.g. fashion, etc.) but more than that, for me personally, my world basically revolves around chemistry, physics and math and i feel that not only my English has become rusty over the 3 years my judgment (critical thinking) is not that sharp. pro alam ko na hindi pwede and ganitong pangangatwiran, i know that it is also my responsibility and duty to become more involved. easier said than done though...

pulitika---my level

one time last year, i really contemplated on running for office in the ESC the following year(4th year by then) thinking na by that time ready na ako and kumbaga alam na ang pinapasok ko. pro it all changed come 4th year first sem....sobrang frustrating ung sem na un for me, to the point na my self-confidence was way low and that time i also began to doubt/question my capabilities whether or not deserving ba ako (na tumakbo man lang)... pro despite that im more than thankful pa rin for the outcome of the previous sem, sobrang halos igapang ko kasi xa... oh well... i know i can do something im just so damn afraid! i have this fear of rejection and embarrassment kasi(if there's such a thing)! besides, maybe it's just me and my paranoia coz i feel na andami kong ka-cold war most especially sa strangers...heheÜ anyway, still haven't decided yet what my next move will be talaga.... i have to take into account also what i said last year, sabi ko kasi kay kuya joe should he have a job the following year(now) tatakbo ako, kasi xa sponsor ko!hahaÜ at may job nga xa, june pa lang!hala!

tawa lang ako dun sa analogy nina ate cheryll na ang pag-join sa engg week activities (esp ung major events) e similar sa pag-aartista. kumbaga, join ka muna events tas saka takbo sa ESC. artista muna bago pulitika!hahaÜ

sa ibang dako ng pulitika. grabe ang ganda ng EEE building. sobra!it's as if wla ako sa UP. what i mean here is that compared sa eng'g building malayong maganda xa. i have nothing against them kasi kumbaga kailangan nmn tlga sa field nila but then again i hope that since the new dean used to be the chair of the EEE dep't i hope that it translates to better facilities and improved engg!Ü problem is, i have but one more year(assuming smooth sailing lang!lol!Ü) to go and i seriously doubt kung maabutan ko ung mga renovations and improvements. tas regarding nmn sa improvement ng ChE lab(specifically ung equipments) mas malabo pa ata un coz accdg nga kay sir nato, an equipment such as a boiler would already cost millions!whew!

anyway, gtg now. need to do some more research and afterwards read, do homework...heheÜ and then sleep!Ü

ChE 140

didn't know that we had such an agency as the National Dairy Industry. when i got my topic for ChE 140, i didn't know where to start or to look for the required up to date information and stats except of course the College of Home Economics Library. but the website of NDA i think is good enough for my research that there is no need for me to visit their office for further research in their lib should they have one. my other concern still remains though, plant visit. though it is just optional for us, i think that it is still advisable to go and visit a plant, to gain actual insights on the dairy industry. since my topic should include the processing of milk(condensed, evaporated, powdered,etc.), ice cream and yogurt(yum!!!), i am currently interested in nestle's plant. i do hope it's somewhere near though as the first consultation for the report is already on Dec. 8!whew! i hope they'll be able to accommodate me(fingers crossed!). but first i have to make that call!heheÜ

by the way congratulations to all the newly Licensed Chemical Engineers!Ü

on a lighter note, December is just around the corner and im so excited. not for Christmas, but for the upcoming eng'g week!heheÜ hope we make it to the top 10, this year again!Ü Go ALCHEMES!Ü

follow up

am ok now...just got rattled that's all. heheÜ but the fact still remains though na i got rattled... hmmm...

here i go again, dilly-dallying.heheÜ before warcraft 3, ym and friendster were my addictions that's why i often miss out a lot of sleep and had to cram a lot, now it's blog!hahaÜ next time website na!ahahaÜ well, anyway though class has just started i need to study and push myself a little... cause i sure don't wanna regret not being able to pull my grade up to the best of my abilities especially since my over-all GWA is just on the brink of cum laude standing(1.752). kaya pa naman siguro(i have my fingers crossed on this one) habulin but as to the cum laude, mej malabo coz na-underload ako in one sem. oh well, that's how it goes nmn e.gud luck to the Pn'G people, sana mapatapon kayo sa China or Japan!waheheÜ

ghosts

bakit ba ganun?bakit after u thought na ur ok na, e there's something that'll remind u of that something/someone (whatever) ur trying to forget. grrrr.... thought i saw (won't hurt if there's some sort of mystery) today. my mind must be playing tricks on me--i hope. but the worst part of this incident is that damn naapektuhan naman ako.... waaah!!!

as was expected, my first class professor didn't show up but now after attending 3 subjects since yesterday(yes all the remaining professors made an appearance) i think the vacation/sembreak hang-over is starting to desert me. nerd mode here i come again!nyahahaÜ this early, my calendar is already starting to get all filled up not with appointments or parties but with exAm schedules and report deadlines!yup, im really back to school!Ü

for my ChE 140 class i must make a report on the dairy industry... think this is going to be another great experience. already im all giddy and excited!Ü

but more than the schoolwork, im actually looking forward to all the activities lined up for this sem. Eng'g week, lantern parade, alchemes month...boy this is one freakin' loaded sem. at least it's not all work!Ü

.::Diamonds in the sky::.

>>sentimental/mushy take necessary precautionÜ

"star light, star bright, first star I've seen tonight. Wish I may, wish I might have the wish I wish tonight."

December 2002. The night was young and the air was crisp, the mood just right for thoughts to drift. In the midst of all the holiday cheer, one soul sat staring not so blankly at the star-filled sky. Deep inside a feeling of loneliness and solitude crept up her (for the soul was a she). So immune was she to all the glee she could only manage to smile once in a while when necessary. Once alone the river persists in flowing that if a shooting star went by that night she would have wished with all her heart to turn back time or anything that would bring back Cupid with her man... the sky just stared.

Alone she trudged that dreary path on life's journey, her bag filled with not just the typical hopes and dreams but her other passive companion constantly knocking on her being - emptiness. But as luck would have it, in one meadow she stumbled upon a playful butterfly fluttering about. Like a child she forgot all her worries but still not her inhibitions and managed to get distracted for a while. Confidence filled her to the brim she thought high of herself and her carefree ways. A constant game of hide and seek ensued with the attractive and playful butterfly blinding her in more ways she could have known. Inevitably she didn't realize until too late the excitement wavering and the thrill ebbing away.

Emptiness didn't knock this time, it barged its way in. Only then did the soul realize that she's just as naive. "What a predicament!", she thought. Not loving when she should have and loving when she shouldn't have.

For some time she wandered aimlessly, allowing the current to take her where they please --- too tired to think, too hurt to feel. If a shooting star went by she could have asked for another chance with the playful butterfly. And that the playful butterfly prove its worth. pitch black...

December 2004. In the silence of the night that lonely soul awoke with a start not by a kiss from a prince charming nor from a knight in shining armor but by the twinkling stars sparkling, teasing her eyes. Above she saw the sky ever so bright laden with stars. Lonely, confused and empty still, her head started spinning. The gap again felt - the hollow in the heart. "Oh to be hopelessly human---shallow and vulnerable!", she cried out loud. But the bright lights so full of promise made her believe. And once again, she prayed not for an h nor a p but simply for an S who'll make her happy. Who cares what his name is for as long as he's for her and she for him. For who knows when her s is also just out there praying the same thing underneath the same sky. Just like what was said by a certain p.c. the heavens will conspire in the fulfillment of one's destiny. Maybe just maybe the sky will blink and this time grant this soul's fervent wish....

sembreak

been out of circulation for sometime. must say that laziness got the better of me that i was so busy bumming around i barely had time to check my email much less create posts. heheÜ
~~~the sembreak's almost over now, and i sure will miss just doing nothing. think i gained a few pounds in a span of just a few weeks. well, who cares? im just gonna lose all these again once the cramming and sleepless nights starts. besides, it's just storing something for future use. hahaÜ although i wasn't entirely doing nothing at all these past few weeks. so ok, i wasn't able to accomplish some "productive stuff" in my to-do list like studying FLash and HTML but heck when the need arises i still may be able to find some time... ayt?Ü besides got a valid excuse too, spent approximately 5 days in our province Pangasinan. what's good about my stay there is that i didn't get bored!!! primarily because for three afternoons, my cousins and i and my lil sister would go to a place called Butao where there are lots of swimming pools and the entrance fee was .......ahem 20pesos!cheap huh?!Ü to add to that it was just a stone's throw away from our house(in Pangasinan of course) nah im exaggerating of course!heheÜ maybe a kilometer or two would suffice but im not really good in estimating distances despite the fact that i drive and that i am an engineering student....:( well, anyway since there are a lot of poolhouses we could choose from we'd normally end up having the pools to ourselves.we'd go there in our "pambahay" get-up and leave in the same "pambahay" get-up but wet!ÜÜ heheÜ
~~~by the way, for the first time since my freshman year, registration was almost easy this sem although i have yet to experience finishing the registration process in just one day. maybe next year hopefully, when ill be graduating!(yey!). it's also worth mentioning here that for the first time i was able to get all the subjects i enlisted in online. finally! hurrah for the CRS team. but i do hope, that when i take my remaining GE subjects namely: Humanities1, Philippine Institutions 100 and STS, and one last PE i won't experience any difficulty in enlisting.
~~~class starts on Nov. 9 and right now im thinking of skipping it. i have this feeling that the professors won't make an appearance... heheÜ
***thinking out loud: "are the UP College of Law professors really the one to blame in the death of Miriam Defensor-Santiago's son?"