puh-lease....

and i thought you got the message! it's so not cute and funny anymore! it's really getting on my nerves! sorry but i think i somehow need to be a little harsh since my indifference and/or indirect hints seems to be not working at all! care to know why i hid this blog for some time before and why i refrain from making posts or why i deleted the archives section? go figure! i'm on the verge of being bitchy! really... so please just stop!

snapshots...c/o she

the girls without mitch...

sinong lasing?:D kamusta naman ang lollipop?:D

isa jan lasing, ung dalawa antok lang talaga!:D

sa uulitin!:D nabitin ako! onti lang nainom ko! ehehe:D

issues...

issues now abound in the yahoogroups just because of two people who dared post their opinions and feelings... i'm not saying their wrong in doing so, but i hope that whatever feelings it will stir among the alumni and the members it will all lead towards improvement of the organization for the better...

sarap sana umepal kaso wag na lng, after all madami din kasi aq nasagasaan na damdamin nung engg week... nde q man kilala kung sinu-sino, alam q meron. naging super sungit and init ulo din kasi aq... nakakalungkot din na may mga sakripisyo kang ginawa pro mararamdaman mo na wala plang naka-appreciate nito... pro d bale ginawa q naman ang mga iyon pra sa org... kasi naramdaman q na kailangan may maibahagi aq...*sigh*

was there any pressure for us to win in the events that we played? i'd like to think there wasn't. it was on maintaining the engg week standing of last year. the pressure came from the fact that we are now a bigger family and that would mean a lot of potential waiting to be harnessed. but the problem is, it was not maximized but utilized just the same. maybe a lot of us expected a lot. we thought we were a strong organization that could outdo what we did last year but two days or so and a lot of default games after we thought boy were we wrong... maybe it just wasn't for us and we have to channel our energies to something else...

i personally felt that we got left behind by mss, who saw our performance last year. as someone i know from mss said, "tingnan mo nga ang alchemes kasing edad lang natin yan pro pang-6 sila last year." didn't we in a way inspire them or served as a benchmark?

bakit naghahanap ng tao? kasi sa 130++ na members na nasubmit as roster, hirap maghanap tuwing umaga... daming default games... what's the problem with the default games? the money that was used for registration! hindi na nga maganda ang financial status may masasayang pa na pera. siguro may pagkakamali rin ang engg week comm or execomm ng org. siguro dapat bago sila nagregister tinanong muna nila ang mga taong isusulat nila kung willing sila. at least kung madefault man at wala namang klase ung taong kasali walang rason kung bakit hindi nila bayaran ang pinangregister dun db? hindi naman ganun kayaman ang org... siguro bago nila sinumbit ang 130++ members sa esc dapat tinanong muna nila ang mga ito kung ok lang ba tlaga sa kanila na kahit papaano ay dumaan ng tambayan at lumahok sa mga laro o kaya'y manood man lang... hindi biro ang 130++ na numero, ayon sa record pangatlo o pang-apat tayo sa may pinakamaraming miyembro...

last year, oo sobrang saya talaga. ngayon pagod ekek... pro pansinin natin, walang awitan last year, walang indakan... may awitan sana kaso nagka-issue din... sino ang mga nasa indakan, sino ang mga nasa awitan ngayon?...

i commend the kids who were given lots of responsibilities, you did well considering that there should have been a senior to guide you.

mga pagmuni-muni

First and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS to jules and the rest of the AWITAN pips! i am so proud and happy for you guys!thank you for sharing whatever gifts you have...

while on my way home last nyt, a lot of stuff ran through my head... and before i knew it i was crying... because of fatigue, of stress, of sadness, and because maybe iyakin lang talaga ako...

hindi naman siguro kaila sa atin lalo na sa mga bibong members na iba ang engg week na ito... puno ng negative emotions... salamat na lng sa magagandang balita tulad ng sa AWITAN... pro sa totoo lng kahit aq kagabi natakot na kahit un ay ipagkait sa atin... ewan ko ba pro kagabi pakiramdam q ay pinagkakaitan Niya tayo... malungkot ako sa mga nangyayari...

hindi naman sa umaasa aq na mag-top tayo sa engg week... hindi naman talaga sukatan iyon ng galing ng isang organisasyon at ng mga miyembro... o hindi nga ba? hindi ba't kahit papaano masasalamin pa rin nito kung paano magbalanse ang mga tao ng kanilang oras, magpagalaw ng mga tao, maging organisado... nasaan na ang 100++ na members? hanggang numero lng ba tayo? kung ganoon ano ang halaga ng ALCHEMES sa iba sa atin, matatambayan para hindi loner? training ground para mapaganda ang resume? libreng meryenda o tanghalian?

let us not forget that if not for the members of this organization who or what will give "UP ALCHEMES" its prestige, its reputation... anong kwenta ng UP ALCHEMES sa resume kung walang mga proyekto ito? mga miyembrong naglilingkod dito, mga miyembrong isinasaalang-alang ang pangalan ng organisasyon...

pro nakakalungkot din na may mga iba sa atin na sinasabi nila mahal nila ang organisasyon, pro hanggang dun lng... hindi ba nila nakikita at nararamdaman na kailangan ng organisasyon ang tulong nila... ang pagmamahal ba ay hanggang sa dahil napapakinang ka ng organisasyon? o may katumbas ding itong pagmamalasakit sa kanya?

dumating na sa puntong nagsusumbatan na, nagsusukatan na, nagsisisihan na... hindi maiiwasan, hindi mo masisisi lalo na ang mga pagod na... kasi naman, kung tulong-tulong at sama-sama wala namang talagang mabigat hindi ba? ang importante may nagawa ka na... kung sinisisi ka pro alam m naman na ngawa m0 na ang bahagi mo o ang kaya mo, pabayaan mo sila! hindi naman sinasabi na mawala na ang UP mula sa UP ALCHEMES pro kung may maibabahagi ka, sana huwag ipagdamot... itanong natin sa ating sarili, mahal ko ba ang org na ito? may nagawa na ba ako? may magagawa pa ba ako?

nangongonsensya ba ako? namimilit ba ako? hindi po... gusto ko lng sabihin ang mga saloobin ko... kung tinamaan ka, mabuti, nakakaramdam ka pa... kung hindi, wala ka lang marahil pakialam o magkaiba tau ng pananaw... sapagkat hindi naman dahil sa nasa iisa taung bubong ay kinakailangang pare-pareho ang takbo ng ating pag-iisip...

sabi ko sa ating presidente, magalit ka na kaya o kaya'y may umiyak na satin sa harap nila... ngunit dali ko itong binawi... bakit? pra saan, para manlimos ng awa? pra may mapagtsismisan ang iba? pra magbulung-bulongan tayo... kailangan pa bang humantong sa ganoon? besides, even if someone cries, only a handful will care, be driven to work... the rest they will feel sorry, sympathize for a while, and then poof!

nakakalungkot na nagkakaganito tayo bilang isang pamilya... may lumulutang pa na mga paksyon... bakit ganun? personal glory? wag naman sana...

have fun... hindi na yan ang nangyayari... mediocre na ang performance natin, nakukuntento na tayo dun kahit na alam natin sa ating mga sarili na higit pa tayo dun! nadedeactivate na ang marami sa atin...

hanga ako kina ate iris, ate jone, nagawa nilang pagsabayin... alam ko na marami akong pagkukulang din... patalo pa ako sa mga nasalihan ko kahapon... hirap pa akong magcommit sa mga bagay-bagay...marami na rin akong hindi alam sa mga nangyayari at lahat ng ito'y batay lamang sa katiting na alam ko... hanga ako kina jose, paul, gemma, ryan, nina, mga GC kung tutuusin pro nung engg week napaka-visible nila...magaling lang talaga sila...

sa mga new mems na napasabak agad, sana huwag kayong mapagod...
sa mga kumukulo ang dugo sa kabila, hinay lang... sana maintindahan ninyo ang puntong, hindi natin kinakailangang makipagsabayan sa pambababoy nila... dun tayo sa rason, sa prinsipyo. wag na lang natin sila pansinin, at sa halip ay ibuhos ang ating lakas sa lalong pagpapaganda sa ating ngalan... mas magandang armas pa rin kasi ang rason, kung alam mong nasa tama ka, anong laban nila db?

there's a difference from being the "best we can be" from being the "best among the rest". One is more rewarding. and we don't always have to be the best among the rest... EXCELLENCE above all!

WARNENG'G

the war begins...
ang sa 'kin lng tirahin m na ang org as a whole wla lng personalan...
FOUL!!!
org bashing pa ba un?... kakaiba...
pro ang lam q, alang taong bobo, tanga pa siguro! 'NDE kami 'yon!

ENGG WEEK NA!

ala lng, sarap sumulyap.... cute tlaga ni hotness....:D hehe:D

lots of things running through my head.... have to think about all of them but at this point since it's "THE" week in the college, i just want to shut off and be on EW mode or petiks mode! but no! have to balance lots of stuff.... and to top it all, my grandfather (mother side), died yesterday... sadness...

got a dilemma, was talking non-stop with a colleague of mine saying some nasty things against the administration(people) of the college, and then lo and behold the associate dean was like just behind us! uh-oh! huuuu....

wonder what happened sa SMOKERS' night ngaun? too bad wasn't able to stay for long... sayang... kakaiba 'tong araw na 'to... wasn't able to hear Mass pa.... huuu... "TAKTENG'G BUHAY"... ung grad pic q ala pa nga din pla.... saya! pasaway na F3!

0% interest 2m! (tix @60 featuring 6cycle mind, sandwich, mayonaise, etc....) hope it stops raining na....

miss this blog

miss blogging... in due time... think it's gonna be ok again... the reason i hid this blog/refrained from updating it? sikwet! hehe:D

>>>>ala lang, trip kong song ngaun though not necessarily reflects what i feel....relaxing kasi<<<<<

Rascal Flatts - Bless The Broken Road

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Christmas Celebrations at UP Diliman

This year's Christmas event will be dubbed "Kanya2 2gether sa PasQ". It typifies UP's ultimate basis for unity: agreeing to disagree. It celebrates, with the youthful pinache of text lingo, our invigorating freedom and daunting diversity in one ideal space we call home: the academic oval. It allows us to congratulate one another's work in anextended 4 day festival of the best of UP Diliman where before we were incognito revelers in a tightly squeezed crowd on Lantern Parade night.

The oval will be shut off from all forms of vehicular traffic for 4days from Dec. 12-15 to allow us to stroll with leisure in a tentcity atmosphere that features the best accomplishments of UP's academe and student organizations. Large white Murayama tents (12' x12') will line the inner academic oval which will be zoned into academic, student orgs, dry goods tiangge and food concessions areas.

The Carillon will sound Christmas Carols at 5 pm daily beginning onDec. 2 followed by the lighting of Quezon Hall signaling the beginning of celebrations. Awards for best academic and student org tents and best Parol per booth will be awarded along with a Belen competition among college student councils. One-hour daily concerts will be held at dusk in succession at the Quezon, Melchor and Palma Halls to be capped by a Rock/Reggae/Acoustic Amateur Bands Concert at the sunken garden on the evening of the 15th till the following morning followed by an Ecumenical Simbang Gabi.

Student and Academic pakulô events such as the APO's Oblation Run atthe oval at noon of the 15th and Beta Epsilon's Fireworks Display after the Lantern Parade on the evening of the 15th will be screened, scheduled and printed on flyer itineraries. The traditional LanternParade will be headed, thematized and choreographed by the College of Fine Arts. The theme will be Earth, Wind, Fire and Water Elemental Masks. It will parade once around the oval and pick-up the academic/student booth lanterns along the way.

Let us prove yet again that with a little imagination, even austerity cannot douse the spirit of celebration in Diliman.

Paunang pagbati ng maligayang Pasko!

Gerry Cao
Chancellor

LET IT GO

thanks to ate jo, for posting it sa groups! what a timing! shux! as in super swak!

Let it go
by T. D. Jakes
There are people who can walk away from you; and hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ... LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...LET IT GO!!!If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ... LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents... LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude...LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better... LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him... LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed.... LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to... LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing !!! LET IT GO!!!
Get Right or Get Left... Think about it, and then LET IT GO!!!
"The Battle is the Lord's!"

na naman

WARNING: MUSHY! (take necessary precaution!)... wrote this last nyt...

>>>START
I will shut that door but for now let me be. let me wander in this barren land.

*** enter music:
I'm a big, big girl
in a big, big world
it's not a big, big thing
if you leave me
but i do, do feel
that i do, do will
miss you much... (miss you much)
***end music

I will always be haunted by the fact that I was so afraid of getting hurt i ended up inflicting more pain to myself than they could have. And yet I must be vigilant so that like what kathleen said (thanks for those chats super!) I will not miss "it" the third time...

so i guess this goodbye... (for real)...

i'm really starting to hate my NBSB status. it sucks big time!

thank you still for the numerous things I've learned much because of you guys...much as i want to write it all here i still can't. must keep something for myself. pro grabe i've written bout u (the other one) so many times na pla! ahaha:D although i can count 4 other na i didn't name! ehehe:D aus! *wag kang mag-alala/di ko ipipilit sau*

***Enough drama cue music: numa numa ye (maia hi maia hu)/move your body gurl!
WHE & BBQ MODE: ON!

P. S. Good luck and God bless to my best pal Patrick. I'm excited for you! :D

>>>STOP

***feelin better already. though still a bit woozy... aftershock... not bitter just sad...

*poof*

just like that.... *poof*... it became koko crunch! >>> corny i know... sadness...

blame it on harboring hidden desires... maling akala... me and my overly active imagination!

haaaaaay.... prang gusto q makasession si MP ngaun ah! tsktsk! anyone care to join? pat, painom ka after ng board m, pra may excuse aq! wahehe:D nah, not really.... not that sad! but still sad...

*fly away... sadness... *

*pasukan na naman, engg week na naman. buti naman. busy na naman. saya, perfect diversion...*

lotsa things

starting to feel a lil dizzy trying to do lots of stuff, and thinking about what needs to be done by today, what i need to do tom, etc... whew! courtesy call (ma'am gene and then sir happy), log rep, fax sponsorship proposals, remind acadcomm, what's happenengg (esp engg voice), notes/documents, permits, *breathe!* need to take notes! mahirap na pag may nakalimutan! ehehe:D

miss these people: (HS friends)

Chinky's "instant" bday blow-out! ehehe:D

felt good to hang out with them! simpleng tambay lng sa gitna ng kalsada ng 9pm. aus! "kanya-kanyang session!" nyahaha!:D love you guys! see you this friday ulit?:D hopefully tuloy... yet to ask my mom/dad's permission... hehe:D *fingers crossed*

current addictions

• fly away (longest yard OST)
• blue sky (thanks to cha!)
• ever after
• being tipsy/borderline drunk! (now i know why he likes drinking! share the same sentiments now! nyahaha!)
• hotness hang-over!

damn it! just found out that i got a grade of 2 in sts! damn! so much for hoping for that cum laude! oh well, that's life! haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy.......... waaaaaaah! sadness......

worse, got an INC in my supposedly last PE! what the heck happened? shocks, thank God for CRS Grades Viewing. or else.... what to do?! sadness...

* if i could fly away, i won't come back * ... sadness...

ending...

the sem has ended. another one's starting, and hopefully my last....

my heart goes out to the following people for being caring, dedicated, passionate.... and something else in between...
ate kim - though it was all a blur for me, thank you for being there. i know you were tired and everything and that you could have left just as easily to rest. you decided to stay... i didn't ask you to (did i?) but you stayed.... thank you very much. and i'm sorry for the added strain i gave you, for tiring you out even more. it didn't occur to me before that we'll be close but then again i am thankful. i don't know (until now) exactly what happened after that last shot of MP, maybe i've said too much which was a given for most drunk people. i kinda liked it though talking non-stop. but anyway, thank you for putting up with me. i prefer listening to people but lately i don't really do much talking of what's inside maybe because i don't even know what's really deep down inside and all i know is that at this point i am sad. nevertheless, thank you for listening... thank you for being a dedicated mommy to us all. i was amazed with your dedication considering that "your time" for showing such dedication to the org has "ended". what i mean by this is that it really was our time (younger members of the org) to do our part. and i am sorry for my shortcomings on that one. and you shouldn't worry if you might be inactive next semester because as what i've said before, you've done your part... we should understand that... and it's now our turn. and as halley always says, belonging is different from being involved (or something to that effect). sad to say, i have my shortcomings on that one. hands down to you ate kim. alabshu!

cy - sorry at naabala kita ng sobra. you were sort of in the "wrong place" when i got drunk. sorry i got you involved pa. kung tutuusin hindi nmn tlga tau close but when i got wasted umalalay ka. thank you. sorry tlga and thank you.

mark san gabriel - tenchu tenchu very much too esp for getting my bag upstairs when i knew i could no longer manage going up myself. and i'm sorry for all the hassle.

riyann - sorry for being too straightforward. that was so tactless of me.

emer - ayos! salamat sa pagsabay or rather pagtatangkang simabay sa akin magswing ehehe:D

to the rest of the gang that i've "disturbed" (some i can't even remember at all):jervik, lynius, angelle, mae, bart, nikki, jake - sorry for all the hassle. either way you enjoyed yourself dn nmn sa spectacle, ayt jake?:D

nikki - CONGRATULATIONS! and thank you very much! you did great! for whatever shortcomings you felt before what you did for this sem-ender more than makes up for them. continue what you're doing and i hope that you can inspire more of your batchmates to be as active and as involved as you are.

appcomm: kenneth, mae, tina, ayza, leian, janelle esp to lila and katre - CONGRATS! and sorry! admittedly though i wanted to be part of this committee so much i wasn't that effective at all.i do hope though that in my own little way i was able to contribute something. again CONGRATS and sorry.

sa food comm esp bryan, mae, angelle, cy, dani, jervik, riyann, fem, bods at ate kim ulit: salamat sa inyo at may masarap na nilamon ang mga tao.
bucks - salamat at kinuha m ang manok sa marikina kahit mag-isa m lng at napagod ka pa dahil dun. thank you for your dedication to the organization. i am amazed at your dedication to the organization and i do hope that it will not falter or fade. i hope you'll not grow tired of this organization.

halley - buddy ko! astig ka! like what i always say to some of my batchmates if it weren't for you we'd be so scared when the time comes that your batch will be the seniors. keep it up! and God Bless!

jake, fem, al, dani, jp, the execomm - CONGRATS! tuloy nio lng. 2nd sem na plano kau mabuti. mabigat ang sem na darating. God Bless you guys!

alumni na nagpunta: ate adi, kuya joe, kuya iman, ate ja, ate mau at kahit sa mga nde nakarating - sa patuloy na pagsuporta sa org!

UP ALCHEMES - my family in UP. without this org my college life will be a whole lot sad. i hope i won't forget to give back something especially financially after i graduate considering what this org has given me. something valueable no amount of money can replace. the lessons, the camaraderie, the experiences, the insights, the passion.... GO UP ALCHEMES!!!!!!!!!

The University of the Philippines ENGINEERING STUDENT COUNCIL proudly brings you...

HALE BAR TOUR! :D

on September 15, 2005

at Hard Rock Cafe, Glorietta 3, Makati City

for only 250Php

You can pass by the UP ESC office at Rm 123 Melchor Hall, UP Diliman for tickets or contact us at 434-3650.

You could also contact me @ 09194373763 or 09224076610.

See you there!

excited! (obviously) both are still unedited... wonder f i made the right decision. chose kasi the one on the right to be printed (and hence appear in the yearbook!) sana pde magchange!huhuuuu.... mas gusto q ung nasa left!

drained...disturbed...must get out...

daming gumugulo sa isipan... kakadrain... from being touched and happy after reading the write-up Byron made for me for the yearbook, my morale went way below... whew! amazing what emails can do nowadays... but on the brighter side this is much better than my attention focused or rather distracted solely on... haaay....days before my bday and this is how i feel, must really mean something... gonna be sad siguro tlga on that day... oh well...

found this on someone else's blog...

**************************************
Things learned from intergender friendships
By Mariel G. Calalo
YOU contributor

THE PREMISE of this article lies on the principle that sometimes, loving a person doesn't mean it has to be romantic and loving a person for the rest of your life doesn't mean you have to end up marrying them. Can a man and a woman just be friends? I'd say yes and they should be.

Hindi dahil kinaibigan ka, liligawan ka na. Not every guy who befriends you has an ulterior motive. Get over yourself. Don't flatter yourself. There is a reason why he befriended you, but don't automatically assume that it's because he wants to be your so-called boyfriend. If this will be the principle you'll follow every time someone asks you to be his friend, you're gonna miss a great deal from the friendship.

Hindi dahil mabait sa iyo, nililigawan ka na. There are people who are naturally sweet and kind. There are people who are innately good and no matter how wicked you seem, they just find it so easy to be kind to you. It doesn't mean he is courting you. Don't put yourself through unnecessary stress trying to figure out if he's courting you or not. Because I think if he is, you won't have to guess, you'll know and you'll be very certain about it.

Hindi dahil he talks to you a lot, he loves you na. You don't befriend a person if you absolutely abhor him, right? Chances are you make sense when he talks to you, or you're probably very patient listening to him. The two of you probably connect on some level but why does it always have to be assumed to be romantic? Being two intelligent, mature human beings, you need to accept that it's nice to share a cup of coffee over a stimulating conversation, and that you don't have to automatically put romantic connotation to it. Relieve yourself of the pressure. It's just coffee and a shared interest.

Hindi dahil cute ang friend mo, crush/love mo na siya. This is the most amusing thing that hit me lately. People always assume that because your friend is cute or should I say, hot (because cute is a word you describe your high school crush while hot is a word you use to describe a hunk), "lakas amats mo na for repapips!" Let me just say this, at least from my own personal experience, I'm just nearsighted, I haven't gone blind. I can still appreciate God's creation! However, there will always be weird things, crazy things, stupid things that will keep you, believe me, from having a crush on him. First of all, you'd know his history with women, enough to judge what's good for you. Second, don't you just hate it when a guy who's absolutely always put together, who looks intelligent enough pronounces the word country as "kawntri" and the word mango as "meynggo." Call me crazy for judging a person just because he can't pronounce these words right. I admit, I'm crazy.

Hindi dahil you hang out with each other most of the time, you'd end up being boyfriend-girlfriend. Self-explanatory... There are a thousand, no million different reasons why things don't always turn out that way. There is no one proven formula. For all we know, the reason why he likes hanging out with you is because he likes getting kikay tips from you. He probably plans on being kikay himself and he needs a mentor.

A dinner with a guy friend does not necessarily mean equate to a date. Especially if you're paying for your share no. Hello? Three things to consider: the place, the topic and how the two of you actually planned to meet. First, how it was planned. If it were a date expect that he would ask you out at least three days before the actual date to give you some lead time, to give you the notion that you are not just a filler on his schedule. Second, the place. If it were a real date, the both of you would want real food and a place where you could really talk things through. Don't go out with a guy to a movie on Friday night if you're really serious about him. Going to a movie is more like treating him like a "filler" just because you had nothing to do on a Friday night so you might as well go out. Topic. Ha! You wouldn't be talking about chikang artista, chikang opisina or argue if the one girl's boobs are real or not. You would be probably talking about sensible, quite personal stuff.

I therefore conclude that platonic relationships are never complicated; people just have tendencies to complicate them.
******************************************
bang!
*****************************************
I try to laugh but cry instead....
Patiently wait to hear the words you've never said...
This City's made us crazy and we must get out....
*****************************************
Happy Birthday to my dad(8/23)! Love you, Papa!:D

on blogs, harshness, tranquilizers, anti-social mood swings, and healthy one sided blah blah

*~*~*~*
found a lil note somewhere in the course of my bloghopping on how she used to snob blogs/blogging as well before. i share the same sentiments coz before i came upon kathie's xanga i was also a blog snob. Thanks to kathie, although i moved to blogspot from xanga (found blogspot's free service more user-friendly:D), i have this corner in the cyberworld. i still can't quite figure out yet on how my page doesn't show up on google when i type a certain keyword. will figure it out next time im free and not so lazy to do so!:D anyways, thanks to friendster a handful of people constantly update their blogs and bloghopping's been an enjoyable "eavesdropping" experience.:D ehehe:D

~*~*~*harshness and tranquilizers
it's kinda weird to be reminded of something you don't have any recollection of and no matter how hard you try remembering you just can't. it's as if i've deliberately erased it from memory. while having dinner at Mcdo(courtesy of yani) with cha, luh and yani last Friday cha narrated how i threw daw a letter that a guy gave to me(through someone) two years ago? and on how she didn't want to be the one to give the letter to me coz she didn't want to be involved (maybe knowing that i was irritated with the guy.... ehehe:D) (comment lng: funny coz the guy who asked her to give the letter is so in love with her and keeps on asking her out). the act was so harsh i couldn't believe what i was hearing.i couldn't believe i was really capable of doing it. ang harsh! i mean, the guy and the rest of the people who knew about the letter saw it in the trash can. GOSH! that was so mean of me! i was like, "did i really do that?can't remember tlaga eh!" wahehe:D astig! i therefore conclude: i am so freaking harsh, mataray, scary and with a huge BACK OFF sign on my head! shux! intimidating...
not to mention hyper, i barely notice it but when i'm so into a certain stuff and or cramming, i become so hyper... i talk so fast and quite raise my voice or something... which of course i barely recognize and what seems normal to me is not really the case pla. "turukan nio nga ng tranquilizer ito!" harhar:D maybe i can mellow down if these people keep on noticing and then telling me about it. ehehe:D
i really must be so transparent, coz on the other hand when i am sad and or mad people can really tell. when i've got a lot of stuff running through my head, people would comment on how i look "spaced out" (which i am these days). and when i'm in a not so good mood, it's like i have this "leave me alone" sign! again, word for the day: shux!

~*~*~*anti-social mood swings
lately i've been MIA on ym... partly because i have a lot of stuff to do. however, when one goes on being sarcastic and trying to avoid conversations, then there must really be something wrong. i don't know why, and what's wrong with me... all i know is there really is no excuse for what i did to someone and i do hope he forgets it. it's quite unforgivable really coz when i think about it, no matter what, i should have time for my friends even for just a brief chat, otherwise, i am no good as a friend. was such a loser tlga that night! God, thanks for the reminder... kathie, pat and to the rest of you guys, (MIA din pla sa text...) really sorry... ayusin q to promise! :D sorry...

~*~*~*blah blah
singing this song again: "you do something to me that i can't explain..." got a new "higher level than the others" crush. still one sided (he's taken) though. but healthy coz no negative feelings or wishful thinkings just plain admiration. and as usual still got those crushes (old and new). keep 'em coming.:D hanggang crush lng aq e... oh well, damn NBSB!

~*~*~*Only reminds me of you
>there's this guy from ACES who reminds me of Film...
>Nat's brother reminds me of gago bluff

...alaala...

Last Tuesday, I was handed an invitation to the Pinoy/Blonde Forum (thanks to ate Gemma) slated that day from 1-4pm. I'm not really a fan of Pinoy movies but I was able to catch a trailer of the movie once and it was quite a departure from the usual, kinda interesting if I may say so. The soundtrack can also be considered a must-have especially for those into Pinoy Rock. Well anyway, Byron (being the fan that he was of "astig" movies) was actually contemplating on going to the forum. When I read the invite, something caught my attention. UP Cineastes' Studio... hmm...kinda sounds familiar, think I saw this already in someone's friendster profile. (yeah I do visit his page!ehehe:D) so I said, what if I went to this forum? Baka Makita ko siya/magkita kami! (after n months!!!!!) Ahaha:D ala lang, kakatuwa lang isipin what if pumunta nga ako dun and there’s this huge possibility na andun siya. But bottomline, I didn't go (neither did byron if i may add) . Pro ala lang pano kaya yun no? ehehe:D how would i/he react kaya? Astig!

Out of the blue: mga kantang may something:D
*tomorrow morning if you wake up and the sun does not appear, I will be Here...
**this is not your ordinary, no ordinary love. You were the first to touch my heart...
***O kay tagal na kitang minahal...
****Hello, how have you been?...
*****you do something to me that I can't explain...
*I have my fingers crossed that he's not into blog reading. But actually, I'm not the least bit scared or concerned should he read this.*
*still sad, but shouldn't dwell on this... *

on a high

woke up smiling... i'm just plain happy...
......................i've moved on! wohooo!

not really a fan of Hale and other bands that played last night but felt excited to post this pic with Champ of Hale if i'm not mistaken.ehehe:D some more pix to come of the Engineering Freshmen Week. be blogging next tym.

out of place

something has gone terribly wrong...

• didn't greet my dad
• wasn't able to hear Mass
• slept through when the rest of the family was out and when they arrived got so emotional stayed up
• woke up to the noise of the welders removing our windows (including the one in my room) to be replaced by sliding ones
• my mom dropped my phone (by accident) and now it's got lines on the screen
• 22 questions for chemistry and 8 for bio
• BBQ + Goodwill
• need additional money for pakain....
• acads....

+ some matters of the heart... one sided this time... so this is how it feels to like someone first and knowing that the feeling is far from mutual or not likely to be. damn! plus the fact that he's not supposed to be my type. is this karma? but haven't i suffered enough from the regrets of the things that slipped away...*you do something to me that i can't explain*

naninikip ang dibdib, sobrang lungkot... leche maitulog na nga ito...

*need to reboot, want my old self back. so messed up these past two days...

just bummin...

how i wish!but i sooooo miss doing nothing, as in absolutely nothing or maybe not really doing nothing at all, maybe having no commitments and responsibilities to attend to and think about(even way after "office hours"). like just watching or reading and then eating and then playing and then surfing and then sleeping and then gossiping. damn! kakatamad ah! got a workload of stuff to do and finish today:
1. finish making and printing the raffle tickets/stubs.
2. write the letter to M&W that is to be signed by Sir Happy as guarantor for the book fair aka BBQ(BOOK BUYING QUEST).
3. print the above two as well as the list of books M&W will provide, the list of companies participating in the event, and the solicitation letter to(or for?heck!) the departments (that should be distributed by tom!)for the freshmen pakain!(if it's not scrapped yet)
and that does not even cover what's lined up for the week!
1. book fair concerns: booths, stocks, manning the booths, etc.
2. follow-up on the marketing proposals
3. registration assistance sa aming ever efficient department
4. prerog sa pe
5. start na ng class
6. magpatawag sana na ng first meeting ng REACTOR(and hopefully have the results of the editorial exam by then)
7. orientation ng Freshie Day "big brothers/big sisters"
8. meeting with Ma'am Shee regarding the ChE job fair.
shocks! imagine the post-its i need to stick in my head!and i haven't been to school yet coz for sure once there got even more stuff and meetings to attend to! OMG! am i whining already? just reminding myself out loud coz should u come across the above mentioned you might wanna remind me. i hope my selective amnesia's not getting worse already..:D
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>E>>>>>>>>S>>>>>>>>>C>>>>>>>>>>>>>
it's super funny, how most of us "active" in the council is craving or scheduling a "day-off". parang katulong sabi nga nila!wahehe:D well i supposedly got mine 2 weeks ago when we hied(im hoping i used the term properly...) off to subic. but no! come last week, was ultra moody!(im super moody on normal days!:D) don't know what happened but it was my body that was complaining. despite having no classes (and no allowance!-was supposedly my mom's way of making me stay at home but well was stubborn and used my savings instead!)everyday had to wake up early and go home late, it wanted a break. stress + fatigue + the weather = sickness. thursday after running so many errands (but at least finished the registration process), felt good to be with ALCHEMES( (wanted to "escape" council work that time!wahehehe)! kakamiss sobra! anyway, i still didn't feel good and my throat hurt and i asked my mom what medicine i should take and she plainly said: "REST". and Rest i did! i excused myself from going to school the following day(and boy did i miss a lot!ahaha). however, despite being on a "day off", still worked because 1)felt guilty and 2) people were calling here at home or texting me of stuff i had to attend to. ehehe:D so the house technically became my workstation.
the following day was back in school. this is getting so long already... anyway, bottomline we were supposed to watch a movie kanina (MADAGASCAR sana) but my sibs backed out and ayun tinamad na rin aq, tv/eat/read nlng though now i have to cram again. have to be school early tom! at least before 8! or did i mention that already? ehehe:D pro now sinisipon na aq, as in like i have to bring a box or roll of tissue to school tom na!
anyway, enuf said muna.... nde nmn na kasi aq mukhang workaholic or bc e, db? shocks! think i'm painting the picture of a girl with glasses, hair on a neat bun, in business formal clothes, carrying folders, holding a cellphone on the other!tsktsk! not good! not good! i sure hope not!

*****on a different note: the ChE freshies are so makulit. ask a lot of questions sa groups na meanne created for them. don't know if they're making fun of us na, but we have no choice but to answer as politely and friendly as possible. nde q na nga lang alam kung sino tlga ang uto-uto na ngaun! ang freshies ba o kami? sample questions they asked:
1.pano po pag ung PE ko wall climbing..sa power up un...ung sked koevery wednesday....sa wednesday ba punta ako agad ng power up? or sagym ng up muna?pano po pumunta ng power up? :D
2.pano magpunta UNIV theater from SM north?
3. pano magpunta gym from Palma Hall and vice versa?
4. shortest and fastest route from palma hall to math and back.
5. kelangan na po ba ng uniform sa pe ko na judo sa first day?
haaay... basta grabe sa kakulitan na prang super sigurista ang dating....

huling hirit

am ok now. full speed ahead!:D not that rested but got the necessary dose of R & R after my whining last wednesday. kinda bitin though, want to bum around for a change.(miss bummin!!!!waaaaah!) as my brother commented: "prang naghahabol ka lagi ng oras!" hell yeah!

anyway, after watching star wars episode 3 with the fam last wednesday night (G4) - 'twas great by the way though i really need to watch the past episodes to refresh my already forgetful mind, i asked that we head for an outing the coming weekend. kahit ano, fontana etc. basta swimming! eheheü kahit nga EK ayos na sakin e. well anyway, we settled for subic (as against hundred islands, since the last time we were there was 2003 compared to subic which was 1995!!!). puerto galera was out of the question cause 1)though we've never been there yet, my mom thinks is kinda risky to travel by sea especially since it's been raining the past days, 2) have to save up some money if we're gonna buy a laptop... heheü anyway, puerto and pagudpud will have to wait some other time. (kinda into the beach now, since i am brave enough to swim, tread and snorkel.ü )

subic was great, the beach was ok. water was too salty though as it kept on hurting/irritating our eyes though we had our goggles on. we had this tendency nga lang to keep comparing it to Balicasag, and virgin islands in Bohol. (hang-overs!) my brother and i wanted to try on swimming from the shallow end to the net but whoah! it was far! my dad tried it first and he was sooooooooooo out of breath when he got back to the shallow side. so much for the mock bravery, i chickened out and tried only to about 1/5 of the distance. didn't push myself to my limits. and instead of swimming to the deep end i opted for treading hehe. daya no? scaredy cat.

was funny kasi, the last time we went on an outing wherein we brought food along aka picnic style, was uhmmm can't even remember! ansaya! anyway, by the time we were ready to leave, prang uulan na. good thing got na my dose of tan line! ehehe:D volunteered to drive back home, tiring but the NLEX was the best! ehehe:D my dad didn't like it that i was driving too fast reaching up to 140kph! yey! sarap ng feeling! if only all the roads in the Philippines are that smooth and wide (therefore no congestion)! my dad thought i was too aggressive!
dad:"nde ata maganda influence q sau!don't drive like that. it's not safe."
joyce:"why, just because im a girl?!!!"
dad: "well yeah, you're too aggressive considering BABAE ka."
so much for the fun ride!

observations:
joddy:"prang lahat ang bukambibig, Boracay. as if un ang status symbol."
joyce:"onga e, ilang ulit na narinig ko yan sa mga tao dun. dati gustong-gusto q magpunta dun, just for the sake na makapunta. pro prang ngaun, yoko na rin ata. pra maiba naman!"
joddy:"eh, nde naman na daw ganun kaganda boracay ngaun."
mama:"db nasa news overpopulated na daw. white sand lang naman maganda ata dun."
joyce:"dati nde naman, kahit ung waters nun maganda and clear. tsaka ata ung shoreline."
joddy:"mas maganda pa ung virgin islands!"
joyce:"ung sa may Bohol?ung lumulubog ang sand kapag high tide?sinabi mo pa! ang ganda nun!" (hang-over to the max!)

!damn tired!

>>>warning:sinusumpong aq. must get this out of my chest...
wanna scream. wanna shout. wanna quit...wanna resign...

"i want out.."

on the brink of accepting defeat... i can almost hear myself saying yes pat, i am no longer fyn with what i am doing. yes byron, nag-volcorp na lang sana ako...

need and want that "me time"... me, me, me, me, me...

am ready to be called a quitter, or a coward for that matter. doesn't matter. to hell if i make a disappearing act. who cares? life will go on... somebody out there is willing to take on the job... kung pede lang umuwi ng province at magtago... wlang laglagan, pro siguro must stop thinking that i should work extra to make up for someone else's absence esp if in the process, even i don't have any time for myself anymore. or if crying seems all too natural to do...

nuff said...

just so so frustrated right now...

and so damn tired!!!

(hence the pag-iinarte...)

need to recharge, that's what i need right now. a momentary break of the non-stop flux of tasks and "post-its of things to do, but never really accomplished..."
*****************************************
...but in reality i'm slowly losing my mind
underneath the guise of smile
gradually i'm dying inside...
*****************************************

multi-tasking to the max!!!!

sounds geeky i know! I can almost hear someone saying "tsktsktsk, eh pano..." out there. I wasn't just busy these past days (hence the non-appearance of any posts at all!), was super-busy (ym status ba ito?hehe:D) Instead of blogging about, like what i'm doing right now , i really shouldn't be doing so if i am to maximize my "time" --- labo ko no? and focus naman on my acads. Would you believe i've been neglecting my studies(this summer) for days now. it's the council work that's been making me spin lately (trying to accomplish different tasks at the same time or squeezing them altogether in the least possible time). Admittedly, (lagot ako kapag nalaman 'to nina mama, although they have an idea na...hehe) I am much more motivated in doing(far from being finished though!) the council stuff than submitting the reports, reading the assigned lectures and reviewing for exams. Naiinis pa nga ako if tatambakan kami ng prof ng kung anu-anong requirements! Palibhasa GE(general education) subject lang. Although it's really wrong to think that just because it's a GE subject, the requirements are uncalled for. Kung bakit naman kasi kung kailan tumanda na ko sa UP at nademonyo na't naging dq saka q kinuha ito e. dapat nung mga bandang freshie pa ako at GC (Grade Conscious) pa ako e!) I tend to prioritize tuloy yung council work. But heck all this whining wouldn't change the fact that i still have to read 442 pages of NOLI ME TANGERE, 437 pages of RIZAL: MAKABAYAN AT MARTIR (Rizal's biography), EL Filibusterismo, 2 short stories, more or less 6 poems (in which we have to do a creative presentation on 3), another novel (i have yet to ask my classmate the title for i skipped class the day the prof gave this requirement), watch and make 2 movie reviews, and 2 websites to scrutinize. That's just about it ---- for the acads stuff. (someone must be shaking his/her, probably his, head already). For the council part: 1.) as Freshmen Week Pakain head, i have to market/submit (through fax/walk-in) sponsorship proposals. freshmen attendance is estimated at more than 300!!!!(7 departments ba naman out of 8 sa College of Engineering ang may department orientation on that day sa morning!except ComSci lang, total freshies is around 700. still have to get the exact/final figures para mas maging maayos ang estimate ko!) 2.) as BOOK BUYING QUEST (BBQ) Co-Head, i have to finalize the list of books most engineering students will be using this coming first sem. of course there's the logistics and publicity stuff as well. 3.)as ChE rep, mas marami pa! REACTOR (newsletter) editorial exam and new staff, Freshie Day, Volcorps, 1st sem registration, ChE shirt, etc. haaay.... Grabe na itich!tadtad na ng post-its ang notebook ko!ahaha:D and to think we(ESC) have three more Major projects lined up! pro like what i said before gusto ko mag-head ng isang event sa Eng'g week!ehehe:D
~~~bits:~~~
~ Love's gonna start working na pla sa Monday sa Siena! Nax, Teacher Love!:D
~ Patrick, wag na magcomment alam ko na iniisip mo! cute pa rin ako!ahaha:D
~Byron: "bakit pa kasi ako tumakbo e! nag-volcorp na lang sana ako!" ahaha:D gasgas na hirit mo! ibahin mo naman!:D
~ UP ALCHEMES so sorry if not much of help lately and i'm not that visible senyo...

BOHOL pix part3

haaaay...........

L to R: taba, payatot, lampa

wla lang, stopover lang!:D pacute lang sa camera!:D

part 2 ng pix. sa may hershey's kisses tsaka sa blood compact site. ang cute q no? feeling celebrity!ehehe:D

the cute, cuddly, huggable, soft, lahat na tarsier! teaser pa lang yan! hehe :D more pix from the Bohol escapade to follow... next time (",)

popcorns and drinks

it's still so early on a summer morning and yet i am up... call time for the college graduation is at 6am later. so that means i have to go in a few minutes time... i'm stationed backstage and basically is in charge of making pa-cute sa mga performers and also telling them to hurry up if we're behind schedule. well anyway....

in my HUmanidades class yesterday, our prof touched on a novel (Crime and Punishment) which had a very sad ending... and i thought of sad movies... how movies in general veer away from sad endings... why? because generally movies are there to entertain people. they may present some facets of our lives but it is not their purpose to tell us straight away that life is full of sorrow and misery. i mean me for example, even by watching melodramatic films make me feel sad and depressed at times not just for the character(s) in the movie but more so for myself - my experiences... most of us go to the movies, munch popcorns to bond with our families and friends and relax and be entertained. we don't see a movie because i am happy right now and i want to be reminded that this is not always the case.

however, if you think about it even with all the suffering and pain all around us always we tend to forget. we tend to be insensitive and indifferent to the plight of others. and we are just naturally selfish and self-centered to say that i've got enough problems of my own to even bother about others' problems. sometimes, it is in this regard that a melancholic, reality-based (not commercially "manufactured" for oftentimes they are so toned down and off from reality) movie or documentary is indeed called for.

ChE Graduation dinner 2005

April 19, 2005 @ UP Balay Kalinaw

brought to you by the ChE reps!(",)

(magagandang ChE reps!hehe)

after all the hustle and bustle, finally some time to chow!

with the hosts for the night: Lou and Kim.

ang ganda ng "falls"!:D

mukha namang enjoy at busog sila db?:D

graduating ALCHEMISTS!

mga nagsidalo

thanks Ma'am Gene for all the support!

haggardness

today was the culmination of my haggardness. cramming to the max the certificate, tribute and token for the ChE graduation dinner(April 19, 6-10pm, Balay Kalinaw). at the same time i have to squeeze in fixing my sched trying to finish registration for my summer classes and getting my remaining class cards. unfortunately multi-tasking wasn't that efficient or rather everything just can't be accomplished in a span of 5 hours. and so, i am two more steps away from being officially enrolled this summer, the tokens will be given tom, and i still have one more class card to get (this time, not my fault na). Commercial lang pla: grabe i'm so happy din kasi, based on the 16 units out of 18 units last sem, 1.625 ang average ko! yey! i'm hopeful na mga nsa 1 - 1.75 ung last class card ko. And the much better news, based on the 143 units i took CUM LAUDE standing ako! wahaha!ü ang saya kasi to think na haggardness din ako with the campaign and all....ü anyway, mukhang ok nmn outcome nung GRAD DINNER except for some minor setbacks... haaay...

kahit saglit makahinga ng konti... TOGA RELEASE, COLLEGE RECOGNITION RITES, REACTOR, BOOK SALE, BOOK ORDERING PROGRAM, FRESHMEN WEEK....... and the list goes on... part of the job. ok naman, pro haggardness lang tlaga... PI100 and HUM1 pa this summer! need to get that massage or rather kailangan ko mag-recharge!

touchdown

just got back from Bohol+Cebu vacation... i really should be getting some rest coz summer classes starts l8r(and im still not done enlisting in all my subjects!!!argh!!) and my sched's pretty hectic. actually, the trip was quite untimely but very much welcome and needed break for all the task at hand as part of the ESC '05-'06 and also as a 5th year ChE student... anyway, before i digress any further and blog about the "boring" stuff, some bits of fun muna... the "travel log" will have to wait....

bohol's great! and a whole lot better from the first time we went there sometime DEcember 1996! and it's improving a whole lot! sure would want to go back there. here's the picture: old churches, river cruise, cute tarsier(if only one could bring back an actual tarsier as souvenir!), hanging bridge, huge mounds of chocolate, peanut kisses, dolphins, sand, sun, NEMO!, fishies, some corals(didn't dive though!), white sand, pristine waters! but right now i could really use a massage. think i "overswam"! hahaü the ultimate downside however was the HInagdanan Cave!!!!!

as for CEbu, we weren't able to tour the place as there wasn't a morning supercat trip from Tagbilaran yesterday. oh well... became more of a stopover and we were practically in a hurry just to be able to check in on time.... and oh Nyoy Volante was on the same flight we took. Yoyo (not yoyoy) Villame was there as well (though didn't recognize him at first until Nyoy and company approached him)... but as jimmy neutron says: "gotta blast!" need to rest.... though i feel like bobbing up and down still after the many boat rides and the long hours in water (whether immersed or not)...heheü

SEM-ENDER/APPS' FINAL RITES

april 6-7, Villa Hortaleza, Pansol, Laguna

remnants...

six feet under lies someone...
buried by the passage of time...
and yet his presence still lingers...
i look at a rep in Laguna and i see him...
can't help myself to keep glancing in the rep's direction...
sometimes i am caught, sometimes i am not...
but i don't care, for when i look at the rep i am reminded of him...
i know i should have moved on long ago, and i thought i did...
but seeing the rep, i can't help but miss him...
or is it really him that i miss?
or his affection that is amiss?
or just plain regret?
i should've stopped staring...
should've stopped hoping...
for again, i am left with a hole...
although no pain was felt a slight of pang of jealousy struck...
when another rep befriended this rep...
Good God when will i throw him out of my system?
when will i see another someone for who he is?
feels like someone's back from the dead although only in the realm of my vulnerable heart and mind...
damn it!

back from Laguna

finally, some "free/stolen" time to blog. ;p stolen coz i really should be working on the survey form that the ChE graduating students have to fill up starting later during their toga fitting. The results of the survey will determine the awardees for the ChE gradution dinner on April 19, 2005 at the UP Balay Kalinaw. just around a week to go but we don't have a single centavo we can spend for the event, in which expenses were estimated at around PhP 28000!!!(todo ambag muna!) until we can market enough money, the department is willing to lend us some amount. but that's not good at all, umpisa pa lang may utang na!!! This is our first major project as ChE reps, and i really hope we'll be able to pull this off! *God help us*

anyway, gonna make the most out of this "free time" so to my dear (few anonymous) readers brace yourself... :D

hard to believe but for four days i've not touched a pc and watched any show on tv! missed FULL HOUSE tuloy...hehe ;p what's even more amazing was that i was out of the house for that duration of time! last time i remember i was out for a comparable amount of time was when i was still in 4th yr HS! that was when i was part of the SCT delegation to the CMLI annual convention held in Baguio sometime in October of 2000! Gosh! that was sooooooooo loooooooooong ago! at least my strategy worked! and it was a good thing that the two activities i wanted and had to attend were in the same province although approximately 2 hours apart...

April 6 and 7 was the UP ALCHEMES' sem-ender/final rites in Pansol, Laguna. meeting time was around 7am and guess what i arrived in Jollibee Philcoa at say 9:30 am... hehe:D anyway, we had to commute as transpo was not provided/included in the payment and we left Jam station in Cubao at around 10:30 am. we arrived at Villa Hortaleza Resort in Miramonte Subdivision at around 1 ata... the place was ok, although the pool wasn't that big, the accommodation and amenities were ok except for one thing! NO BLANKETS!!! and aside from forgetting to pack my toothbrush(had to buy a new one in 7 eleven) forgot to bring my tapis and jacket!!!! damn! by the time i slept (which was around 4am!) was so cold! at one point, my head ached so much! slept late because the applicants weren't "thrown to the pool" until around 2am! although we had to depart the place by 7am since the reservation was from 7am-7am, sobrang enjoy naman!! sarap magswim!!!:D took advantage when the apps were still busy with their "challenges" hehe:D pra pede pa mag- "laps"... hehe:D

before heading off to pangil, we stayed at Katre's place muna in Magdalena, Laguna to pass the time kasi cha and i anticipated that if we headed straight to the place wla pa ung other ESC pips coz meeting time nila sa Jollibee Philcoa was 7am - meaning to say around 8am pa sila makakalis dun!anyway, katuwa mag-commute sa isang lugar na first time mo puntahan! hehe:D tas 2 lang kami ni cha... 2 jeepney rides and a tricycle ride ang Gabriel's Resort from Pansol. but take note, the jeepney fare was for 30 pesos each! astig! hehe ;p much as i want to elaborate, my "free time" is running out... anyway, the Planning Sem 1 was ok... dami ginawa, meetings galore! planning to the max! and enjoy swimming naman sa last night! nag-inuman sila but being the good and shy girl that i am, didn't join them...besides not really much of a drinker... of course, there was a time na bad trip ako... o. p. ako... ilang... etc... ah basta... this is what i have learned: whatever bad feeling i have for someone i must throw away for it is getting in the way of me performing well as an ESC officer, of bonding with others. with regards to my shyness as one officer observed and wrote sa backstabeng'g i need to improve on it... i know there's so much more that i can do than what other perceives i just have to be more assertive and confident of myself and mingle more! good thing there's still a Planning SEm 2!

and so we went home by around 2:30 pm, saturday this time there was a hired vehicle na. the way was through Rizal since Pangil is near the boundary of Rizal and Laguna, so it was much closer. got off sa Valley Golf na lang, and asked my dad to fetch me there na lang. by 10pm was asleep.... got up @10 am Sunday!

by 2pm, another meeting, this time at Meanne's place in Filinvest. do-day of Grad dinner invites, posters and survey forms... whew!!! now still not done with the survey forms... gotta rush! who said i am not busy? :D

sad news

while working on my take home exam last Friday morning, around 2am to be exact, i got this text message saying that i check CNN/BBC if i want to verify that the pope has just died. that instant, nanindig ang balahibo ko! it was something unexpected, abrupt! to the point you don't want to believe it... stopped working on the take home exam for awhile (even though sobrang photofinish na dapat) to check nga sa BBC and CNN. lo and behold, no news about the pope's death... it was terry schiavo who died... (my thoughts about the the terry schiavo controversy next time when i have the time---dami stuff na ginagawa these days e...) was happy and disappointed at the same time... happy that it was just a hoax/prank (not because it was terry schiavo who died) and disappointed because terry schiavo died and someone would make a joke about the death of another person more so, of a very important man - Pope John Paul II....

anyway, fast forward to saturday's 6:30 anticipated mass, the priest mentioned the deteriorating state of the pope's health, that we should pray that let the Lord's will be done, and that the pope may not go into a coma(pardon if mali usage ng coma)... and then come sunday, the pope died(saturday evening sa Rome).... it's so sad... somehow, the prank text i received last Friday helped me to be prepared for this but one can't help but be saddened by his passing on... he is one pope na kinalakihan ko. though i wasn't there sa UST grounds nung world youth day of 1995, saw him naman... he will be missed... but of course, as Catholics, we must be happy for him, for his suffering has ended and that he will be with the Heavenly Father... *a moment of silence*

halu-halo

got home around 130am. we watched Robots, dami aabangan na movies! Fantastic Four, Star Wars Episode 3, Ice AGe2, etc... afterwards sinundo nmin bro q, coz grad ball nila today...sabay hatid na rin sa partner nya... *senti* brings back memories... miss HS tuloy... HS lng nga ba tlga?haha:D although a lot has changed since me ang nag-grad ball. at least improving!:)

culminating activity din kanina sa ChE140 nmin. enjoy ung games and katuwa ung awards. got the Cinderella chuva award because of my "glass slippers" na i wore sa report q. love q na tlga ung sandals q na un. :D

still sad with the ESC issue... txted my head last nyt... no reply... maybe il try again, maybe just ask wat needs to be done... pro baba prin morale q because of this... haay...

never expect...

masama ang loob q, kasi may genmit pla nung thurs sa ESC at hindi ko alam kaya hindi ako nakapunta... may galit ba ung head q sa akin o sadya lang wla syang load? benefit of the doubt... damn! i shoudn't give up, pro prang because of this i feel like an outsider, excluded... kung madali lang ang mag-resign. don't get me wrong nde sa ayaw q ng trabaho. im willing to work pa nga to the extent na karir, kasi gusto q panindigan na from UP ALCHEMES. so pano ngaun un, first genmit absent na agad aq...leche!

masama dn ang loob q kasi kung hindi pa ako nagtanong, wlang makakarating sa akin. wla ung concern/pagkukusa/pagiging kaibigan na inaasahan ko. cguro masyado akong nagtiwala... cguro masyado akong naging feeling close... cguro masyado akong umasa... un ang mali ko...

was it my fault that i rarely spent a minute sa melchor hall kya wla akong alam? maybe... sa bagay, may nasaksak na't lahat sa betaway nde ko pa lam. (scary!!!) this is so sad...and frustrating... to the extent nde q shado naramdaman ang tuwa sa 99 na nakuha q sa 4th exam sa ES12 (dynamics of rigid bodies). oh well...

hello kay jp, na nagvi-visit pala dito. nahiya tuloy ako bgla. paramdam ka nmn kahit minsan kahit jan sa tagboard q. :)

one fine day turned ugly

induction namin yesterday as the new set of ESC officers, batch 05-06. started at around 10am but came in late as i had to make takas pa from my EEE lab class. and ang layo nun from eng'g! anyway, the event was not that dramatic, no tears or anything but nevertheless super memorable. ganda/symbolic din kasi ung test tubes na tinurn over samin ng ChE reps 04-05. tapos we each had a copy of our oath and inside the piece of paper was our duplicate copy of the key to the ESC office. somehow, for me, nung na-receive ko ung key nawala ung hiya ko and ilang na magpunta sa ESC office. now that i have my own key, ramdam ko na talaga na ESC officer ako...

after the oathtaking ceremony, we headed na outside the theater since food comm mem ako. grabe mga eng'g people talaga, basta may libreng pakain!!!! ubos ang food and kawawa ung iba na nakapila pa...

***miss Dr. Escoto na! what's gonna happen to our ChE123 class??? since November we had around like 11-12 meetings pa lang!***

nung hapon nmn, GA sa prime and sa ALCHEMES buti na lang separated by just one floor ung venue so it was easy to attend both. first stop, since nde pa nastart GA sa ALCHEMES, GA sa PRIME. election ng new set of PRIME officers, na-elect si Albert sa VP for FINANCE. and then planning naman after ng victory party. was set on March 30, overnight. boy oh boy! dami overnight thingy hindi ko na alam pano ifilter pra mapayagan pa ako pumunta!!! (ESC planning sem, ALCHEMES sem-ender, family vacation...) my dad is so against pa man din sa mga overnight!!! my mom told me si papa daw e kabado when i drive home late and lalo daw pag commute lang... (lately kasi napipilitan din ako magcommute by myself ng around past 10pm! scary!!) hindi daw shado makatulog....

anyway, after ng GA sa PRIME, ALCHEMES nmn! mej naiyak ako konti dun sa mga speech ng outgoing execomm. ganda din nung ppt presentation/tribute for the outgoing execomm and graduating students na hinanda ng incoming execomm... sana kami rin by the time na kami naman ang grad (hopefully next year) e may mas touching (gusto ko mag-iiyakan tipong kahit mga NR mapapaiyak! nyahaha:D ) din na tribute for us. super hanga lng tlaga ako kay sir nato... super supportive xa sa org. imagine, he was there sa GA (by the time i left -- 8:50 he was still there) and he lent us ung LCD projector ng dept... in my opinion he too deserves to be given a tribute/a token of some sort. ang sarap kasi ng feeling na pati adviser ng org sobrang mahal din nia ang org at prang mga anak nia kami...

MAKE A DIFFERENCE. BREAK FREE

anyway, nagpadaan me sa dad ko since galing nmn xa Bataan kya nde q na ntapos/narinig ung mga speech ng new execomm. to make this blog short, my day turned ugly when my dad and i had an argument. although we argue a lot sometimes my fault sometimes his, this one was different. he literally kicked a plastic chair which almost hit me, while shouting in an angry tone: "GET OUT!"(3x ata). got scared but still mad at the same time. he told me na ang bastos ko and that sumasagot ako and wala akong galang. although there are really times na i'm like that kapag mainit ang ulo ko(the blame really was on me), this was different coz i really felt i didn't do anything wrong. ayoko lang magpatalo, and i felt i had a point that's why i kept on answering him back. siguro nga lang, medyo hindi na maganda tone ng voice ko but it was never my intent na manigaw. tendency ko lang na maging "hyper" magsalita especially if i feel strongly about the issue. while outside crying, i thought what if i climb our wall and take a walk outside... but didn't do it kasi: 1- may tao sa labas, baka magka-idea magnanakaw how to get in! hehe:) 2- will make matters worse and 3- not the person na gagawa ng ganun. besides, pra un lang mag-iinarte na ako ng ganun ka-grabe. anyway, after a while my dad let me in din nmn. seeing siguro that i just kept quiet outside(nde nagdabog or anything) wla nga lang pansinan. na-reach nia lang siguro sukdulan ng patience nia sakin. but i'm glad that he's my dad coz not once in my life na napalo/nasaktan nia ako physically... tas ito pa if nde nangyari yun, feeling ko kami naman ng bro ko ang nagkasagutan coz binara q xa and napikon xa. damn! ba't ba kasi ang taray ko masyado!

efforts not in vain!

***singit lang: wla lang nmn akong ipinasok today... wlang class ng 830-230, my prof nmn for my 230-4 class didn't show up (ulit!). although buti na lang coz arrived sa school mga around 3 na! :D and then, nagkatamaran na pumasok sa 4-530 na class kasi promise ang bagal ng oras sa class namin na un! ***



t*H*a*n*K~~~y*O*u

(not just because we won/your votes prevailed but rather...)


UP ALCHEMES - Jose (dakilang president), Kim(prang president na rin na internals comm head), Cheryll(dakilang acad comm head), Byron & Khulz (mga grill pips and impersonators), JP & Marky (PCM'S), Kat & Bryan (groupmates sa 135 sa pagtitiyaga sa katarayan ko--- monster aq pag sobrang busy e), Bhodz (sa 10 mins. na tawag), Cha (ang co-rep q), Albert (councilor - charming and sobrang charismatic kaya kala ng iba hindi marunong magseryoso pro sobrang astig naman!), Lims(councilor), Jake (incoming president), May(sec comm head), NiÑa (exte comm head), Ate Elaine (incumbent ESC councilor), ATe Jone and Flor(incumbent ChE representatives) sa mga mems and apps na nagsuot/namigay ng mga cute na pins namin... sa mems na nag-isip ng tagline ko: "JOYCE UR CHOICE" at ni cha: "It's CHA, CHA FOR ChE. Charmane "Cha" Bincha" :D Binza pla! :D, Abet at Jervik (1st year mems na naghakot/naghatak ng other freshie's na unaffiliated na bumoto), sa lahat ng nagmamalasakit/nagmamahal sa ALCHEMES.

UP PRIME - i'm glad i ran under this party... ate ria, hat's off...

FRIENDSTERS

MY FAMILY

GOD

...for all the support, the understanding, the encouragement, the votes, the insights, the friendship, the care, the concern, the wisdom, the strength, the luvv, the TRUST...

and now the real challenge, to do justice to the votes...

hmmm... side comment lang saang committee kaya ako punta sa ESC... dun sa cute ang head pra may driving force na umattend ako sa meetings! :D

Congratulations to the new set of ESC officers(don't have the official list, post it next tym nlng) and to UP ALCHEMES' new batch of EXECOMM:

President - Jake
Executive Officer for Academic Affairs - Al
Ex-O for External Affairs - Fem
Ex-O for Finance - Yani
Ex-O for Logistics, Sports and Recreation - Bhodz
Ex-O for Internal Affairs - JP
Ex-O Secretariat - Dani
Good Luck and God Bless sating lahat! :)

Quote: "Kung may turbulence o imbalance man na magaganap narito kami para i-restore ang smoothness o laminar flow of things" -- Reynolds number?? :D

on a roll...

noticed that my previous post is soooo long! pro since im so in the mood pa rin to "blog" despite the fact that i have a report to finish pa and have to be in school again by 7am... new entry naman...

still have to decide sinu-sino mga iboboto ko sa USC... weird this year coz dami independent na nag-run tapos they almost filled up all the slots... and then they signed pa a manifesto of unity tapos hawig pa mga name plates nila... hmmm... fishy?... normally hanga ako sa mga independent pro i'll reserve muna my judgment for this case... ok sana ung lone "independent" na nde nag-sign ng manifesto of unity... pro anyway, kulang pa ako sa kilatis sa iba...

X-DAY last Friday sa Sunken and super enjoy... saya manood sa kanila(kasi nde me nakasali) especially dun sa command and conquer!:D sarap din maglaro ng frisbee!!!!:D and sarap din ng food na ipinakain ni Mark Frias sa open haus ng Molave(first time ko makapasok sa dorm/open house!!) :D

last Feb. 19 pla, sobrang saya din coz 1: ALCHEMES/talents' night ng mga apps. and sort of hindi paalam ang ginawa q, nagsabi ako kina mama na may pupuntahan ako! wow, akalain mo! :D ehehe ;D wla nmn naging angal e... yes improving!!! :) and then, since the car that i'm using wasn't fixed until way past 7pm, was a late comer... as expected simot na food na hinanda ng mga apps... sad... when my parents asked me how late i'll be staying i just said 12midnight. although the night before/two nights before when cha, albert and i ate sa kenny sa katips nagkayayaan na na mag-fair after. actually, karamihan kasi talaga balak mag-fair after since last night na un. syempre excited nmn ako coz finally after 4 years makakapag-fair na rin ako. :) anyway, the apps' night didn't end until around 11pm na ata. and when we headed for sunken garden, astig ang haba pa rin ng pila!!!! pro dahil mga taga-UP kami at makakapal mukha namin at mauutak kami, nakapasok nmn kami din agad... tapos na nga lng ang sugarfree at mongols ata... sad... nag-enjoy pa rin nmn ako coz naabutan ko pa naman ang Moonstar88, may isa pa na hindi ko maalala at PArokya ni EDgar na tumugtog ng mga bandang 3am na... ung vocalist daw ng Kamikazee ang nag-sub kay Vince(damn i'm so lousy sa mga bands!!)... syempre tinugtog uli nila ang HALAGA na fave PAROKYA song ko! :) nagtsubibo din kami nina cha ehehe:) kakatuwa lang :) at may 2 babae (na akala ko nung una e lalake) na jologs ang nag-away at nagpagulong-gulong sa may harap namin! astig! pro kinabahan ako dun in fairness!! :D at yun, hindi ko na hinintay ang Kamikazee kasi past 3 na ay 12 lang ang paalam q... although wlang text nakokonsenxa pa rin ako kaya ako'y nagdrive na ng mag-isa pauwi. sarap magdrive ng ganung oras kasi alang traffic! sobrang bilis ng biyahe... anyway, konting pagalit/paalala: "wag na mauulit" etc. IMPROVING tlaga tsong! :D basta ang saya! :D

ok ang Constantine, Lemony Snicket's nmn!:D may game ba jan?:D

ayan, sa wakas speechless na... time for me to rush our report... ehehe;D

a look back...and ahead...

been out of circulation for sometime... aside from being so so so very busy, naubusan din aq card... wahehe!:) nah! just so happened that when there was an opportunity to relax and just laze around, i did just that... channel surfing to the max as if i haven't seen any shows for ages, and then sleeping like a baby!:) plus mama got this exercise machine din(mainly for her pro to encourage us din daw to exercise pra "healthy") hehe:) kaya nax! may 10 minutes kuno daw me na nagpapapawis!:) ehehe:) anyway, sobrang daming stories... missed blogging...kya here i am making up for "lost time"... *wink*(comics?!!nyahahaha)

the campaign is almost at its end, we have just barely half a day and then the meeting d avance... and for me this experience is one that i will always cherish and hold dear... taught me a lot and sobrang daming "manual and theoretical learnings" ahehehe:)

after the "crying ladies" episode where i lamented on our status (na kami ni cha ang magkalaban) on the elections, come Monday(feb. 21) sobrang iba ang feeling... iba ang aura namin na mga PRIMEmates! as if super narecharge and refreshed, ang saya2 the whole day! we went to a lot of classes pro todo ang energy at ganda ng mood. nag-improve din mga "spiels" namin! and hindi namin ganun naramdaman ang pagod! tuesday and wednesday though i wasn't able to campaign that much... pro nagpa-grill kami in preparation dun sa "dreaded experience" namin... ang pumunta sa "other org" where we were expecting not just to be grilled but to be roasted! frustrating ang outcome nung grilling namin sa org nung tuesday! as in! kaya wednesday night, we personally asked byron, ate kim, khulz and jp to grill us for the last time... dun kami sa may grand stand sa may sunken nag-stay... campaign mode kami and they acted naman as if they were from the other org pro grabe sobrang laugh trip in between and most especially after!!! the best impersonations nina khulz and byron!:D the best din mga lines ni jp!!! we were laughing so loud to the extent na we felt na invade na namin "privacy" ng mga "sweethearts" sa sunken! wahehehe!(as if we cared!hehe) anyway, we stayed there till sometime before midnight coz cha because of her dorm's curfew can only go home ng 12 midnight kasi she missed ung 10pm na "closing".

thursday, "the dreaded day", was M.I.A. sa beta epsilon tambayan the whole morning because our circuit for our 2nd design experiment in EEE1 wouldn't work out accordingly(got a free ride to C.P. Garcia pla, thanks to Mark! sa uulitin!:p). anyway, issue nmn sa beta epsilon tambayan pla ung resignation ni limuel from PRIME... issues issues... oh well... sure hope he's not being selfish and emotional coz he's not the only one that's being affected by the issue... kami din as his orgmates... his org... and besides, everyone had to sacrifice something in one way or another for our candidacy and the campaign... anyway, skipped my 4pm class so that i'll be able to support our Standard Bearers tsaka sort of makausap si cha and maiready ang sarili coz org to org na... sobrang ok sa CURSOR kasi we felt that they were listening and asking not just for the sake of it despite the fact that all of their candidates are running under another party... plus andami din nilang inputs and insights...after CURSOR, they went to UP SAVER afterwards EMC(squared) naman and then.... whew! tension building... we had to excuse ourselves(or rather make takas) from the line sa EMC(squared) to buy water and pee... on our way back people from the Tau ALpha tambs nmn asked us when daw kami campaign sa kanila... cha endorsed PRIME sa kanila... found the situation amusing kasi, another party is under their wing in the same way na PRIME is under Beta Epsilon... :) anyway, after our "grilling" sa "other org" grabe iba ang feeling ko... was more than happy... basically for the very reason that i was able to face one of my fears and the "other org" was more than obliged to make my experience very memorable...

wla ung ineexpect ko na maiiyak ako, na feeling ko they will just ask us ALCHEMISTS kasi wla lang, na wlang kwenta na andun kami kasi they won't vote for us at all... na out of formality na lang na we have to be there... na because we ran it was something we knew we had to do... but no! somehow i felt that they gave us a chance, the opportunity to hear us out... that they may consider us when they cast their votes... sobrang overwhelming and sarap ng feeling... sobrang bilib and saludo ako sa ginawa nilang iyon not just samin na reps but sa SB 's din!if only the same could be said sa ibang orgs... i just hope na it wasn't just for show... kasi if ganun... who knows... sobrang elated ako kaya naman i felt na wlang sayang... win or lose sobrang winner naman ako sa mga naranasan ko... Lord, thank you...

certified PRIMEmates: (ESC)

Chairperson: Rhet de Guzman

Vice-Chair: Alou Lim

Councilors: Chemay Avena, Limuel Agdon, Mark Frias, Albert Payapaya

ChE representatives: Me-anne Asis, Cha Binza, Joyce Demetria, Cel Dimagiba, Nat Tiano

EEE reps: Stella Gatchalian, Winston Sumalia, Mark Tan

CE reps: Julius Calubayan, Cherry Mateo, Jayson Valderrama

MMM reps: Marianne Polinga, Ricci Juan

IE reps: Joanne Nario, Yna Ramos, Khrisna Soto, Anj Visaya

Grad rep: Leanne Munsayac

March 1, ESC, USC, ALCHEMES elections!

***prayer: "Dear Lord, let your will be done... may those who will be elected will perform well and deliver more than the kind of service that is expected from them...May they deserve the vote that they will get. Send your Holy Spirit to guide and enlighten each and everyone of us, candidates and voters... may there be an increase in voters' turnout...Thank you Lord for being with us every step of the way...***