Tears of love

Beneath the sometimes snobbish or complacent exterior lies a softie. The softie who sheds tears when she's hurt, extremely angry, in pain or less often overjoyed.

Today, she shed tears of love, of that overwhelming feeling of loving someone and of being loved, of that attachment, of need, of longing, of gratitude, of hope, of optimism, of being touched deeply as far as her soul and not just her heart.

If there is a someone for everyone, maybe my someone has arrived. Thank You Lord. You do make things beautiful in your time.

These are tears I wouldn't mind shedding, they're definitely not a waste. Now, I wish I can touch his soul the way he touched mine. How do I even top that?

Pop Jedi

So, I reached my limits last Wednesday and the anti-social tendency kicked back in. I read this article about so-called ambiverts and I could totally relate. I guess I am an ambivert or selectively social. I know what I needed to do and that I will be ok. I just have to keep fighting and finding ways to improve. But that day I just wanted to disconnect so bad and recharge. My patience was so thin, that I was a walking livewire but somehow several rants to supportive loved ones, walks around the driveway/the apartment, and tears later I survived the day.

There's something about either eating or shopping that has an uplifting effect. But since I'm having trouble managing my finances or figuring out the budget as of the moment due to the move and relocation, I ended with the next best thing - funko pop!

I've been trying to restrain myself from buying and collecting these cute things. I've stopped with the lego and I'm not to keen on starting a new collection. I've been successful so far with some exceptions. For one, I just had to buy honey a funko pop batman. Believe me though I've been resisting the urge to buy the rest of them and use hon's fondness of batman as an excuse.

Then last Wednesday, I took an out of ways trip just so I can buy Luke Skywalker (Jedi). I am no star wars fan and there's only one reason why I bought it. I thought if I'm going to get myself one, this may just as well be it. But oh boy, I took some time in that small stand putting stuff in my basket and putting them back again at the stand. It was just too hard not to buy more. But my 'kuripot' nature eventually prevailed so I didn't end up with more to start another collection. Whew! The trip was worth it though, a sort of retail therapy.

Oh, the things you do for love or when in love.

Relocation Diaries: Entry 4: first month

Apparently, I've been here for a month and so far what have I been able to accomplish:
get a car - nope
move into an apartment - nope
buy the furniture, arrange the utilities etc. - nope
get a driver's license - nope

in short, none so far. And I am panicking a little right now with the things I need to do (and remember). I'll take them one step at a time and hope I finally get to mark them off my list little by little.

But that's not why I squeezed writing this entry. It's more on the realizations that hit me everyday. Really, the heart sometimes take a while to realize what the head knows all along. Keeping it together is hard. There's still so much to learn, to balance, to adapt, to handle things properly. I hope and pray it will work out in the end. I am both sorry for my error in judgement or clouded thoughts/hurtful words and thankful for the patience and understanding. Love is indeed a crazy thing.

and yeah, as the song goes, I miss you like crazy...

Relocation Diaries: Entry 3 - Plans

Last Sunday's homily hit me in a very personal way. It was about instead of making Him our secretary taking notes of what our plans are, we should ask what His plans are for us and seek/consult Him if our plans are aligned with His. 

It goes well with this message I got earlier today from a friend:

"Happy Tuesday, everybody. Here's a snippet of my devotional today that I want to pass on to you: 

"God may not have fulfilled the promise in your life because he’s waiting on you. He’s waiting on you to learn to not fear, not fret, not faint, not forget. He wants you to learn that before he delivers you.

God can do things immediately, but he’s working on a larger agenda. The delays that come in your life do not destroy God’s purpose. They fulfill God’s purpose in your life."

The verse that goes with this: "“I will bless the Lord and not forget the glorious things he does for me” (Psalm 103:2)""

...

Being a logical, analytical person, I can't help but struggle when I don't understand.

"Many are the plans in a person's heart but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21

Relocation Diaries: Entry 2 - Distance

Travelling has been a common part of my life mostly because of work and it has taught me a lot of things. The experiences all have helped me to become the person who I am now. I know for a fact though that not everyone wants to travel for work and be away from home frequently and for prolonged periods. Back then I didn't really fully understand and felt what the deal was. To me it was an enriching experience and that the distance shouldn't put so much as a strain on personal and family life.

Ask me again now, and somehow I have a slightly different perspective and a better somewhat understanding on why especially married couples or those with children are hard to persuade to leave home. While it hasn't been that long for me, just 22 days, there is someone back home that I'm terribly missing. Now I start to understand why they say Long Distance Relationships are difficult. Difficult yes, but not impossible. I am holding on to that, we are holding on to that.

I didn't get those couple selfies. And then I ended up having a couple of them myself. This was probably our first one together.

There are pros and cons to the set-up. Of course, the cons are more obvious but for the pros an example would be, you try to spend more time and talk more with each other. Conversations being the bulk of the bonding and quality time together make you become more expressive, creative and less secretive than you would (like the guessing game women usually like to play).

Right now, on another side of the world, we are marking our 2nd month together. Oh yes, monthsaries! It's really funny how I used to raise my eyebrows on these type of things. But right now, I am just thankful of where we are right now and that we've gotten to this point. Counting your blessings and being grateful of them.

Honey, thank you for taking care of me and my heart so far. I love and miss you so much. I am really looking forward to spending time with you. May He continue to bless us, our relationship, to make us patient and strong, to give the wisdom and strength as we continue this journey. The past two months (and the months prior to that when we were still "dating") have been a happy and a learning experience. Happy 2mo! May the 4th be with you! :P until the next months. :)

another selfie when he went with me to the embassy on his birthday. :)