Kicks

Random low EQ post. I'm so wanting this:

I'm not sure where and how I'd get this but hopefully I'd find a way. It started with the airmax 90 which looks good but is out of my budget. As much as I like it, I'm still not that sold to be willing to spend that much money on it. But this NBs are great alternatives! *drools.

Thanks Auntie for this Mighty kid-ish NB574! 

Balancing Act

How do you find the balance when you're loyalty is still with your old team but you enjoy the work with your current team and they have somewhat conflicting interests? The only reason why I think there's conflict is probably because of the loyalty and debt of gratitude that I feel for my old team. Or maybe I have a different way of seeing things so that I see some actions as being  contradictory.  Unfortunately, it doesn't help that I don't feel any support from the current team as if I'm on my own and that they don't have my back. Thus, I tend to feel towards wanting to protect the interests of the old than the new.

Kerengkeng

So, I've been trying to put on more make up (at least learning to) lately. Many people say that natural is still better but there's still some magic on how these chemicals can transform one's face from say haggard, sleepless and stressed to something more presentable. It's actually not that easy so I'm going with the simple ones. Given that, I'm probably even a late bloomer when it comes to these things (or maybe I'm just not that into these things).

I've never really bothered about these things especially on a daily basis other than the pressed powder, lip gloss until I went on assignment in vanity land. I can still remember several times when I couldn't care less to apply anything on my face even though I've worked hard the day/night before and I had some breakout as well. My male superiors or even clients would openly comment on how stressed I look and even one went as far as getting me some sort of ointment to help the breakout. Then I realized that no matter how bad I felt, I had to mask that in my face with the help of make up. It's very superficial and trivial but on the other hand it taught me to try to keep appearances especially when you're trying to "sell yourself". Before, I used to run out of the house, apartment without drying my hair, putting anything on. Slowly, I ended up with just damp (not dripping wet) hair and a minimum of BB cream on my face.

Ah, the wonders of BB cream! Before BB, there was pressed powder, then the liquid foundation. After trying out BB though, it has worked wonders for me that I couldn't go out without at least putting this one on my face. Whenever I'd get compliments, I somehow feel that BB does the trick for me. When I was younger, I used to envy a lot of girls with seemingly East Asian descent for their seemingly poreless faces. Now, BB helps me achieve that. So far, I've tried only three:
1. Face Shop's Power Perfection
2. Natural Republic's Snail Therapy
3. Missha's Signature Real Complete BB
For some reason, I think I get more compliments when I'm wearing 2 and 3 more than 1.

Compliments and admiration are flattering but I wonder is that it? Will there be anyone that has the courage to go beyond that? Will someone make even a move. I'm grateful for the attention, it certainly helps me feel a little secure knowing I can still turn heads. But if that's all there is to it, it's a little sad. Hopefully, one day, someone will take a chance and give it a try. As a tweet puts it, I just want to love and be loved.

I've been known to be dressy or at least seem to put an effort on dressing up ever since. That Korean stint did give my courage a boost in terms of dressing up how I want to without minding what other people think (whether it's overdressed or not). At least, I still try not to be over the top and keep the balance. On bad days, or when I'm feeling insecure I tend to put on more effort to look more presentable overall. Sometimes, when you feel shitty inside, you've got to find a way for that not to manifest itself and pull yourself together in front of everyone else. For me, that means dressing up and putting on make up. So it was a little offensive when a superior tells you in public when he notices you're wearing red lipstick that "kumekerengkeng ka na naman." Yes, I have my vain moments but I wonder was I being that loose and desperate looking in my attempts to look presentable. I sort of wonder if I weren't single or if I were more plain looking, would my actions have meritted the same remark? 

Graduation goggles

Of missed chances and opportunities

Of blindedness due to pride

Thinking too highly of self

Of being judgmental

Of idealism

Of standards

Your revenge has sometimes a bitter aftertaste.

Oh well, oh well.

Of slim physique

Of intelligent and funny conversations

Of long sleeves

Of email pals

Of sexy, hot and attractive in different aspects not necessarily just on the physical.

Of amusement.

That's entertainment.

Cheers!

Gatecrashing in Baguio

Somehow in this digital age of selfies, youtubes, facebooks, blogs, etc. weddings have also become a show in itself. It's not much different probably with executing a production number to make a wedding as special, unique and memorable not only to the bride and groom but sometimes more for the invited. I read somewhere that at least the church ceremony is for the couple while the rest are for the attendees. It is somehow for this reason that a social gathering such as this sometimes becomes too rehearsed and planned. While beautiful sometimes it may become devoid of emotions and somehow elicit a feeling of just going through the notions. Don't get me wrong, if and when I do, I might end up doing the same thing at my own wedding.

But nothing is as beautiful as a wedding full of love not just between the couple but their families and loved ones. Sure there were a lot of glitches here and there. There were probably a whole lot more that as a guest you no longer have any idea of. Nonetheless, it was a beautiful mess. I was not close to the couple but at the end of it all, I can only but marvel not just at their wedding but their journey to get to that point. Even as a stranger to their story, the wedding was able to make me realize how everyone was surrounded by love. Tiny bits and pieces from everyone to complement the couple and from the couple themselves all made the wedding a success. A few tears did escape my eyes especially during the speeches. Somehow, it was all not just for show. In the end, it was not about pulling all the stops to have that perfect, extravagant wedding but meeting halfway. The families were overflowing with love especially for the daughter and sister dearly loved. I looked at myself and realized how judgemental I sometimes can be. I crashed a wedding to escape the city but I got so much more. 

Simple. Love. Compromises. Acceptance. Back to Basics.

Congratulations and Best Wishes!

*pics courtesy of Bart