All the love in the World

Boracay 2013

I may have found my new "theme song".

All the Love in the World

The Corrs

I'm not looking for someone to talk to
I've got my friend, I'm more than O.K.
I've got more than a girl could wish for
I live my dreams but it's not all they say
Still I believe (I'm missing) I'm missing something real
I need someone who really sees me...

(Don't wanna wake...) Don't wanna wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
All I need is to know it's for sure
Then I'll give... all the love in the world

I've often wondered if love's an illusion
Just to get you through the loneliest days
I can't criticize it
I have no hestitaion
My imagination just stole me away
(Still...) Still I believe
(I'm missing) I'm missing something real
I need someone who really sees me...

(Don't wanna wake...) Don't wanna wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
All I need is to know it's for sure
Then I'll give... all the love in the world

Love's for a lifetime not for a moment
So how could I throw it away
Yeah I'm only human
And nights grow colder
With no-one to love me that way
Yeah I need someone who really sees me...

(Don't wanna wake...) And i won't wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
You'll reach for me and I'll know it's for sure
Then I'll give all the love in the world
(Don't wanna wake up alone anymore...)

Old school

Who writes greeting cards and sends them via post nowadays? Apparently, a lady I met in Seoul but is now back in her home country who doesn't even celebrate Christmas does! Albeit arriving late, this was instead a welcome surprise to kick start the new year. So blessed and lucky to know these people. Seoul will always have a special place in my heart mostly because of these people with whom I shared all those amazing adventures with.

Hello 2014!

To Him be the glory!

P.S. I should probably change my facebook name to my real name because this card was addressed to a certain Joyce Demet. Haha

Let it Go

Last night's girl talk with some of the girls I met in Seoul was refreshing. Also, finally being able to openly admit to common friends what I did and the regret for friendship wasted and sorely missed due to my stupidity and weakness was liberating. It was something I tried to avoid and hide though obviously they knew. At the same time a certain kind of peace moved in its place. It was really great to have been given the chance to stay for a while in Korea- to meet all these amazing people and share in all those amazing adventures. Life is good. 

Another great year I hope.

2012 was an epic year rich with experiences and adventures.

2013 was a year of learnings, lessons of letting go and moving on.

2014, what will you be?

quick to judge

I guess we are all guilty of this. Instead of reserving our opinions and giving the benefit of the doubt so to speak, it sometimes is easy to just hurl accusations and judgements left and right. The recent tragedy that struck our nation is one good example.

Our country has been through several crises already and we've proven time and again of our resilience. Despite our flaws and imperfections, the crab mentality, corruption and sometimes shallow-mindedness among others, we, as a nation have managed in our own ways to inspire the world, show them our worth and value and be in the spotlight for good reasons. Reeling from the pork barrel issue, the (staged) armed crisis in Mindanao, the 7.2 earthquake, our country yet again, played host amidst unwillingly to one of the strongest storms ever, Typhoon Haiyan or locally known as Yolanda.

Not surprisingly, this was something the locals have not experienced ever before. Sometimes, it is hard when you grow accustomed to some events that you prepare based only on that knowledge and estimate of the level of worst-case scenario. Unfortunately, it was just that and more but even the most powerful of nations experience disasters of their own. We are powerless when Mother Nature decides to unleash its wrath to us. Seeing the first few videos and pictures to finally come in after some areas have been cut off, it was just so heart-wrenching. We are lucky the heavily congested metro was spared and I can't imagine what kind of damage we would see. I guess the glaring difference between classes might become more evident (i.e. those in concrete high-rises) but then again, who can say? Going back, the amount of loss both material and immaterial although might not appear to be as great (currently the count is still in the hundreds hopefully it won't be that high...) and the trauma that the survivors have to deal, with are hard to imagine.

A family member made this comparison when news of rampant looting not just of the basic necessities were reported. "When the tsunami hit Japan, people were more civilized and no looting were observed. Maybe because they know that their government will  help them." The question is: When you have none left and even lost a loved on and there doesn't seem to be any sign that help is on the way, do you just wait it out or try to survive? It is a natural instinct to survive. If there is no power, communication is cut off and supplies are running out, your home was destroyed, what else can you do? We naturally want to go on living and life has to go on. You try to push forward. Obviously, there is loss of order and the devastation left by Yolanda left chaos and destruction in its wake. I am not saying all of their actions are justified. There are other opportunists out there I bet. Yes, we can wish that our countrymen could have taken the higher moral ground and acted more civilized  but maybe right now it's a World War Z/Walking Dead out there. To them that is the situation. Let us not be quick to judge on the actions that are now being reported while we sit in our homes twiddling with our smartphones etc. There was a time when intermittent power outages were manageable but imagine that now and many people would complain and whine with our lives so much intertwined with our iOS's and Androids.

I pray that they (those affected) are given the strength, wisdom and courage to live another day. I pray that our government gets their act together, stop the bickering and corruption and be on top of this situation. We can weather a lot of storms better if only we are more effective and united. Help is pouring in but as one friend goes, we have at one point in our lives received the help we badly needed. We can pay it forward, here's some ways how:

1. Donate from any of the different NGOs, some of the well-known ones include:
ABS-CBN Sagip Kapamilya: http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/tulong
GMA Kapuso Foundation: Panawagan mula sa GMA Kapuso Foundation para sa mga nasalanta ng Super Typhoon Yolanda | GMANetwork.com - Foundation - Articles
Philippine Red Cross: http://www.redcross.org.ph/donate.php

others such as World Vision and World Food Programme are also listed in this post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/09/philippines-haiyan-how-to-help-_n_4247106.html

2. Repacking of relief goods for DSWD, Red Cross, UP etc.

DSWD-NROC needs volunteers to repack relief goods now. We are on 24/7 relief ops. Interested may call 8512681 or 09184219780." - twitter.com/dswdserves

Let go

We're heading into the Christmas season and I'm definitely heading from busy to very busy what with all the trainings going on starting this week. I guess that vacation was a way for me to store up on good vibes. Maybe next time I'll get to post our itinerary and the Bicol trip. Hopefully, now that I have a multiple entry visa for the next three years, I get to visit at least every autumn. It's definitely my favorite season but I sure would like to go snowboarding one time. Just you wait friends! For some reason,  I've lost interest with other nearby countries because of this one I used to call home even for a brief period only. 

Anyhow, just wanted to write this post to mark a decision (which I hope to keep) to unburden myself. I'm normally fine, content and happy but of course there are those moments that I end up jaded and lonely. I guess I have to let go of that dream and maybe just start to accept that it might not be for me after all. I don't want to be pessimistic but I guess I just don't want to find myself jaded from time to time. If it's His will and part of His plan then it will come until then I'll just live my life and resign myself to the possibility of being one of those not meant to find someone. And I start this by letting go of everyone even those who I feel paranoid to be avoiding me (paranoid gets you only when you are invested/attached to somehow).

Consider them as a parting and thank you gift.

Autumn colors

Hands down, autumn is really my favorite season. But because I live in a tropical country, I didn't get to appreciate it until I was assigned for work in South Korea last year. As one saying goes, it is that time when leaves become flowers. Autumn colors through leaves dying gives the scenery a boost plus the crisp clear weather. Ahhh... I am so thankful for having had the chance to experience it once again. Until next year (hopefully)!

Call me (insert name here)

In a few days time,  I shall be going broke and in debt to my parents (thanks ma and pa for letting me borrow saving me from that interest rate!). And I will be finally taking home a brand new depreciating pollutant. Much as I don't really need to buy one and the one I'm using is good for another two or so years considering it survived Ondoy, for various reasons I've decided that now would be a good time as any other (for the family especially the sister and dad, and for being practical and not aiming for an SUV. Would have to leave some things to a guy... Hopefully...)

Nonetheless, since this is my first real purchase (the old one I was using I just bought at a family-friendly second-hand price from the parentals), I thought i'd give it a name. I'd follow the bandwagon and choose a guy's name. I've thought of several but I'm still undecided which one i'd go for.

1. Brett Harvey

2. Barney (HIMYM inspired)

3. Robin (again HIMYM inspired)

4. Ted (yes, i love HIMYM!) 

5. Nick (new girl)

6. Vince

Whatchathink? I'm actually excited and looking forward to driving an automatic even if it's not really an upgrade to the one I'm using now. *hint *hint.

2014 to do list

Well, 2013 ain't over yet but I find myself starting to set-up goals on what I want to do for the following year. The weather for the rest of the year might not be a good time for me to actually achieve these goals as well as the travels (both work and leisure) that's already lined up plus the monetary restrictions. This will probably be a list in the making or a just a dream list but nonetheless, I sure wish I'd get the chance to do them one day.

(listed in the order that I deem more feasible to the least feasible ones for the year or maybe in my lifetime)

1. Stand up paddleboarding in Coron or El Nido.

Got the idea while browsing through the in flight magazine of Philippine Airlines en route to Shanghai. I've always wanted to explore the many nooks and crannies of our beautiful, tropical country and Coron or Palawan has always been something on the list (among other which I would probably list down below). Who wouldn't be drawn to the idea once you see this picture (or similar to what was in the magazine)?

photo grabbed from http://www.suptoursphilippines.com/ website

I'm all the more enticed after seeing this picture. I've kayaked a couple of times already and it is tiring. I bet this one will probably be all the more tiring. Nonetheless, I'm up for trying something new. It's for the experience and the visuals! Hopefully, I get to squeeze this in my schedule next year... and I get to have someone tag along to take me an awesome picture like the one above. haha

2. San Juanico Bridge Run

The San Juanico bridge has been part of my Philippine history classes since back in elementary years and although I haven't been there I get the sense that it will be a scenic run. It is not the longest bridge in the country spanning just 2km  but it connects the islands of Samar and Leyte. As per Wikipedia: "It is considered one of the most beautifully designed bridges in Philippines". It should be a short run but well the scenery might make the run longer than it should.

photo grabbed from http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/03/San_Juanico_Bridge.jpg

3. Europe trip

When I first started thinking about what I want to do next year, this was still feasible. I thought that I'd just try and visit three countries/cities like Amsterdam, Paris and maybe Milan or wherever. I was thinking along the lines of backpacking and couchsurfing and crashing at a friend's place in Amsterdam. But priorities have suddenly changed so this may be something that has to wait and I have to work harder for (unless I find that other silent prayer and fervent wish...)

As much as I'd like to set more out of town trips even locally, my current role requires me to also travel a lot in the Asia Pacific region (especially southeast asia) so I wouldn't have much time to go on those local trips but any trip in good company be it friends, family or maybe a special someone will always be nice and appreciated. :) the ones below are more like wishful thinking for now so I won't elaborate anymore:

- back to Boracay
- Batanes. Need I say more?
- Anawangin
- Cagbalete, Caramoan, Calaguas, Matnog take two.
- sky dive
- watch the F1 Grand Prix (Monaco would be the ultimate) somewhere in Asia especially since the Ice Man is back with Ferrari and you have two world champions on the same team. That will make up for an interesting season and races I bet.
- Japan tour
- Maldives

Flatline

I've loved and I've lost... No regrets there. You live, you learn. You win but sometimes you also lose.

No pain, no gain. It's just the natural order of things. What's important is that at the end of the day, you know that you've lived to seize that day!

I'm alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic!

One time, while the pilot was announcing that we had to go back to the terminal after being airborne for just a few minutes because of some problem, I thought to myself well, anything can happen. Plane rides have become too much of a happenstance to me that the dangers and fears that normally come along with it no longer bothered me. Sure, there were turbulent flights but not so much that I didn't feel safe. But at that time, although I was far from panicking or agitated or even anxious, that was the closest I've become to a mishap involving airplanes. The thing is I didn't feel too attached if anything did happen to me. Sure, I have my hopes and dreams but for some reason I thought I just surrendered myself freely to Him. Either that or I was going through something at that time. I don't think at all it's the latter. Nonetheless, I can't really be complacent with my frequent travels and I have to hope and pray for safe travels in as much as I pray for successful work execution.

Lucky and blessed

Life is beautiful indeed if you learn to count your blessings and appreciate what you have and not what you don't. Trials and suffering either make you miserable to no end or make you stronger and better helping you to remember Him and the many other reasons to keep smiling even through the tears, the hurt, the failures and the pain. Hold your head up high, stay positive, don't give up hope, have faith and trust in Him... keep moving and push on forward..

Definitely feeling the love, appreciation, sense of accomplishment right now. Thank You!

This is how I roll nowadays... Lucky and blessed indeed!

Definitely Asian

My nationality has been deceiving and locals from neighboring countries tend to think of me as a local and automatically speak to me in their local language. If I keep my mouth shut chances are they would assume I'm either:
1. Chinese - while in Shanghai
2. Korean - while in South Korea
3. Chinese, or Japanese - while in Myeongdong (Seoul). Sales ladies would call my attention in Korean, then Chinese, then Japanese if I don't acknowledge them. The last thing they'd do would be to speak in English although they have this natural aversion to the language.
4. Chinese/Thai in other SouthEast Asian countries
5. Korean - at the airport when flying Korean Air
6. Singaporean - in Manila just because my co-instructor was Singaporean.

Definitely Asian but more east asian than SouthEast probably. Coupled with a few compliments I am really flattered and thankful. They give me the confidence boost that I somewhat need considering the insecurities I've had to deal with in the past weeks... :)

Lone ranger

And so it begins...

One of the reasons I moved into this role aside from the many obvious ones was because I was not ready to give up travelling. I have been blessed enough to have travelled relatively a great deal because of my work. In my 6 years of stint with this company, I've been sent to Texas, Florida, China, Singapore, Indonesia, South Korea, (Australia if I didn't change roles). Those travels have opened opportunities and doors of all sorts for me that I really find them enjoyable in their own ways. Don't be mistaken that they are stress and problem free but it is better to just look on the bright side of things. I get to meet and interact with people, cultures, traditions and environments without breaking my bank.

I'm just in my fourth month in my new role and already I've been to Malaysia twice, Singapore, Brunei, South Korea and now in Shanghai. For the first time however, I am alone and such will be the usual case in my next travels. The solo adventures begins and I intend to enjoy and maximize it the best way I can. Although I don't have much time to explore getting to meet people has so far been really interesting and enjoyable for me. Making friends and connections in this great big multinational company is fun. I have already two travels scheduled for the next two months and the title, Travel Engineer only seems too apt. Nonetheless, I can't really complain. Ask me again after maybe a year but right now, I like my job.

Life has been good. I am definitely blessed and spoiled by Him that all I can think of the trials that I go through is because He has better things planned and in store for me. It might eventually become monotonous and the travelling might be too much or tiring, so I don't know how it'll be after a year. Also, I don't know how I will have a family of my own but I hope and pray that is included in His plan for me. In the meantime, I go where He wants me to go. Thank You!

You

I was going to write a long litany of thank you for being there, for being a security blanket. I've become too dependent on people when it comes to these things that maybe people are trying to avoid me and my emotional baggage. Right now, I am trying my best to pull myself together without calling for help even though I'm on the edge of another breakdown. As the quote puts it, cry but learn to smile through the tears. I've wasted so much tears on this already. So this is what unrequited love feels like...

Nonetheless, inappropriate as it may seem, the thought of you there helps me get through this. My self-esteem and confidence is really at its lowest but hoping that you're still there for me uplifts me... I hope if God wills it, you'd still be there after I get through this... 

Solanin

Solanin - Akfg

Even if that frail happiness

Had somehow lingered on

A bad seed would surely have sprouted

So I guess this is goodbye

Goodbye, that's enough

You can cope anywhere

Goodbye, I'll manage somehow too

Goodbye, that's what I'll do...

Ja ne!