raving &hearts on stuff and then a few rants

so yeah, i finally gave in and voted using this website as my guide: http://sukisyo.vox.com/... i couldn't resist anymore... as much as i've been a passive arashi fan silently watching, reading, ogling (not to mention downloading) at anything arashi-related, given the situation where JE was a few votes behind, i couldn't just sit and watch right? after all, it was just a few clicks away... just a small effort on my part given the many happy times/moments arashi has given me especially in moments of stress... again, those boys are my happy pills. I always end up smiling and feeling a bit light whenever i recall their antics, etc. you can't help but crack up really... =) all the best arashi!♥♥♥ >>> i never thought i'd be this obsessed or feel this strong about celebrities!!!!

on other news, i so can't wait for breaking dawn!!!!♥♥♥ to think that i don't know if i'll even get a hold of a copy this weekend because since i'm a late bloomer i wasn't able to reserve on time... (the addictions i have are quite childish, seems as if i'm growing old backwards). anyway, the anticipation is so getting on my nerves... just a few more days... i still have my fingers crossed that in one way or another i'll be able to secure a copy this weekend or next week... =)

why are there a lot of temptations... i wonder what i'll be able to get myself... shooting for a DS, cellphone, zoom lens (still haven't decided what) and a tamron 17-55 f2.8 perhaps? oh man, this is really hopeless... good luck to me!

addictions...

as if my most recent addiction isn't enough to keep me busy and sometimes cause me to lose sleep just so i can indulge some more... i just got a new addiction! i'm joining the twilight bandwagon! and i am so hooked. so much that i've been losing sleep over the past days while reading the first book and to think that I was actually working overtime during those times as well(oty...) I also found ways to get my hands on the mid two books in the series. I was actually planning on getting all three as somebody just lent us twilight... but they except for eclipse was already sold out (it seems on all pb branches). Good thing I live in Cainta, and just as I suspected they still have new moon available! hurray! twilight can wait! =)

so now i'm so torn on my addictions:
F1 - please let kimi be world champion!!! =)
mysoju/crunchyroll - watching Yamada Taro Monogatari again. haven't watched any new dramas lately because i've been too preoccuppied with arashi vids to care! hehehehe =)
arashi - jun, sho, nino, ohno, aiba. I didn't think I would like these boys at all but now I am so addicted. They are so hilarious and kakkoii! Somebody teach me nihonggo please!!! If not for financial constraints/priorities I'd really want to watch them in Shanghai or Taipei... oh well... I hope HYDF will be shown anywhere anytime soon!!!! =) They are my happy pills especially in times of stress. I just have to listen to their gay pop/jpop tunes and my mood will improve. Just recalling their hilarious shows is enough to make me smile (like an idiot sometimes, I would have to say).
twilight - arashi addiction is cheaper although not exactly on the HD but the backup drive can wait! i hope rest of the saga won't disappoint... i know, me joining this bandwagon is way belated but it's never too late right?
multiply - i'm starting to doubt this coz the high-res pics are no longer available... =( only low-res pics available for grabbing? that's too bad...
CSI - the first to go primarily due to my sched... i miss it terribly...

i know if you think about it, it's actually sort of pathetic. well you can look at it in two ways, it's good that i don't have any other preoccupations because as it is my hands are pretty full. on the other hand, i made myself useful or busy because of the absence of that other preoccupation. I'm not complaining though. why sulk right?! =)

speaking of two ways, i just got to watch dark knight yesterday and heck it was dark, heavy and good at least for me. I was particularly amazed at Heath's acting. His Joker was disturbing, intimidating, and effective. Maybe I'm not really a well-informed batman moviegoer but to me it seemed that Heath's joker drove the point when he was able to exhibit multiple facets of personalities capable of outsmarting or should i say tricking other people. Anyway, the pending results got me hanging so much that I couldn't really relax and left me on the end of my seat such that there's no other way to describe it but to say that it got me a bit stressed out. At one point I wanted it to end really. Anyway, I am not sure how the comic enthusiasts will react to this movie but overall I think the movie was good. What I'm a film critic now? Not! Just got carried away with the fuss over Heath and his acting. >>>something's so familiar here.

time to work on that way overdue KBA. boo me! i sure hope I finish the first draft though...

P.S. any news on the eheads reunion concert? I really really hope it's not for free and for smokers only... but i hope it's not that expensive though...

i was initially going to write something about working from home (and how sometimes I wish this is still possible) but the negative feedback (mimic) and the possible negative feedback that may circulate among the managers due to my "passive" participation during the training is bothering me so much... oh well... hopefully, those things won't stick and will not have any effect (esp with regards to performance ratings?hahaha)...

*hope for the best!
**i really hope the e-heads concert is not for free or you get tickets by signing up on a website (and you have to smoke!)...

rain, rain, go away...

come again some other day... please especially not this weekend... =) hopefully it'll be fun and sunny! please??????????

my arashi madness hasn't the least bit abated and my desire to go to one of their AAA concerts has increased to the point that I really wanna go. but then i mentioned it to my mom and got some scolding... so right now i'm thinking if i won't be able to get tickets then it's not for me... but if i will be able to get tickets then i need to convince my mom and SAVE/EARN MOOLAH to justify this madness! =)

but then, i want to buy lens and a new phone as well... and hit the xxx,xxx limit by the end of this year... and i need to contribute for this year's trip abroad (coz i promised)... how in the world am i going to do all these? obviously something's gotta give... but what? i've already declined the HK invite of my officemates since I was just there about 7 months ago... and I want the samsung OMNIA too (feels good that i sort of can associate with ohmiya!!! woohoo!)... POOR ME! yes, rants galore! oh well, hopefully i'll be crossing out a couple of things by the end of this year. it's all about priorities and discipline and self-restraint... so I can indulge on the things that matter more...

really i hope it won't rain this weekend... Tuesday's fine. =P

ARASHI CONCERT TICKETS, HELP PLS?!

waaah we so want to watch!!!!

http://mcrbinza.multiply.com/journal/item/21

can't get enough of arashi!

this is my worst addiction so far... since i started "loving" the group, i've been doing nothing but raiding sites for videos, information, tidbits, listening to their songs, learning a few japanese words here and there whenever i had the time!!!! THIS IS BAD!!!!! but for me, they're like happy pills especially now that work's been pretty hectic or going to be more hectic (if there's such a thing).

i'm just bothered though if ohno and nino are really dating each other! LOL!!! NOOOOO!!! just when i thought nino is also cute! nyahaha originally it was just jun, well when i first started watching hyd, i didn't even like anyone of them. I thought the taiwanese version featured better looking leads/F4. Then, I enjoyed HYD more than Meteor Garden (i realized that MG was a bit dragging) and came to like domyouji. And then, cha introduced me to Yamada Taro Monogatari. Didn't have much of a choice so I thought, well Sho looks kinda ok. This lead me to check out the band and what seems to be the fuss. So i checked wikipedia and youtube. Their time concert video(s) got me amazed and then i was hooked... the moving stage and jun's yabai yabai yabai really got me...

and now, i can't wait for HYD final. Also, I wish i could buy a collection of all their vids with english subs as I still need to study/learn japanese... I KNOW!!!THIS IS BAD!!!! jologs na kung jologs!!!! LOL! :P

guessing game...

LSS. I find these lines quite apt or at least I can relate to this (at least in my daydreams?!)

"It's like I waited my whole life
For this one night
Its gonna be me, you, and the dance floor
Cause we only got one night
Double your pleasure
Double your fun
And dance forever ever ever
Forever ever ever (x6)
Forever on the dance floor"

guess why or rather who! =)

materialism...

i wish i'd be able to buy this by the end of the year:

1. 24-105mm f/4L IS USM
http://www.canonlensreview.com/standardzoomlensreviews/CanonEF24_105mmf4LISUSMLensReview.php

or this

2. 24-70mm f/2.8L USM
http://www.canonlensreview.com/standardzoomlensreviews/CanonEF24_70mmf2.8LUSMLensReview.php

otherwise i might have to settle for this

3. 28-135mm f3.5-5.6 IS USM

http://www.canonlensreview.com/standardzoomlensreviews/CanonEF28_135mmf3.5_5.6ISUSMLensReview.php

but i really want the first one...

wish me luck! I need to more than save! wonder how i'll be able to do it... to think i bought a laptop about a month ago although it's on an installment plan...

i guess this is means goodbye DS and cellphone... so long as i can still call or text with my 6230i that'll do! hahahaha such a pity... well at least i feel safer when I commute coz i don't have to worry about a lost phone or whatever...

again another caramoan snapshot: =)

i just miss someone right now... =( wonder if he misses me too...
sure hope so...

pure bliss...

i fell in love with this:




and this

then again, who wouldn't?

paradise with friends - priceless! =)

*photos courtesy of atan

blur...

i haven't written a decent blog in a long time making me feel as if i'm going to explode right now. my head's spinning with a lot of things that i'm not sure what to do with them... although like what i've been doing for some time now, i can just get it over with and move to the next. that's basically how i've been coping... i guess the downside to this is that it's making me more and more cold and indifferent... on the outside, it makes me stronger and hide the weak me inside... for i know, i am weak and i don't expect the world to be there for me...

maybe, i'd better stay in touch with this side of me and for once be honest about a few things... but heck, it's really thanks to insomnia that i'm doing this. i'm hoping that the sooner i let a few things out, the sooner i'll fall asleep which is what i really, really want to do right now.

small world
since my decision to stick to this ungodly sched of mine, exposing myself to the insults and ridicule of others (though i'm not so much affected knowing how technical and good my seniors are who came from the same college as I am), my world has been getting smaller. i try my best to stay connected but the strength of the bonds i have established or at least thought are being tested. in this age, where communication isn't much of an issue at all, i believe in the phrase "connected and yet disconnected". Technology allows us to stay connected with almost anyone in the globe who has access to it. However, at the same time, this means of communication though it involves interaction sometimes seems heartless, shallow and insincere. It's easier to fake emotions and feign attention/importance. It's also because of technology that we can create our own little worlds. Maybe i live in my own little world too much that whatever relationships i have are not strong enough or deep enough. This not only goes to the relationship with the opposite sex... yes, i also rant when this isn't the topic.
sometimes, i feel surrounded by people (and i really can't complain) but honestly, i also feel alone...
maybe i am high maintenance in the sense that I have a lot of standards and expectations set that if those aren't met, it's considered as a failure right away.

disappear
oftentimes, i intentionally try to disappear... maybe trying to attract attention, maybe because i feel insecure or maybe because i need to step back and just be with myself... and i realize it's easier to disappear these days and your disappearance won't be felt at all.
blame cowardice or indecisiveness or unwillingness to change that I do try to disappear in that I don't want to deal with a certain situation. Undecided on the next steps, and unwilling to disturb the status quo (which I'm still very much enjoying or for practical reasons currently works), I try to let the situation decide for itself by detaching myself from the situation. Maybe this is heartless and indifferent of me... but really now, I don't want to deal right now.

NOW
elle's right in saying that we rarely think of now. NOW is always anchored with our past or with the future. Only in extreme situations such as near-death encounters where we are able to fully focus our hearts and minds to NOW...

i owe an apology to a lot of people. in trying to protect and watch out for myself, i have hurt and caused pain to others. when my mind kicks in, i don't really have much choice... my heart's safely tucked away in a little corner...
i don't wear my heart on my sleeve...
i bear no grudges... i wish for the same...

sometimes, due to my forgetfulness or disheveled self, i wish i would die young... not too young for i still hope that somebody will be able to break that spell... those damn scarlet letters...


of course, vain mode! =)

sweet and peaceful slumber talk to me...

cream puffs and commitments...

i'm so craving for cream puffs right now!!!! huhuhuhuhu

"Choose your commitments"
You won't be able to commit to anything if you try to commit to everything. Be willing to say no to the things that are not really important, and you'll be able to say yes, in a big way, to those things that are most meaningful.
A few, carefully selected, quality commitments will bring much more value to your life than a whole calendar full of shallow, relatively meaningless ones. The depth and meaning of life's experiences matter more than the sheer volume of them.
Just because you're busy doesn't necessarily mean you're making real progress. Take some time to consider just where all that activity is taking you.
Life is filled with all sorts of wonderful opportunities for real fulfillment. There's no need to grab at everything that happens to come by.
Every single day is precious and unique. Spend each day moving life forward in a personally meaningful way.
Choose your commitments with care and grace, with love and purpose. Then you can truly know the joy of giving yourself fully to them.
-- Ralph Marston

preview of highlands "pictorial"

because i love the pics ((not from my cam-yet to upload/share them) so much! hehehehe fun fun fun!

nowhere fast...

so freaking sad...

and busy...
and stressed...
and loaded...

and still freaking single...

damn!

rant mode obviously!