Snap for a Tune: Where Are You Going

Texas, 10.25.2009

Where Are You Going

Dave Matthews Band

Where are you going, with your long face pulling down?

Don't hide away, like an ocean
But you can't see, but you can... smell
And the sound of waves crashing down

I am no superman
I have no reasons for you
I am no hero; oh that's for sure
But I do know one thing
Is where you are, is where I belong
I do know where you go is where I wannna be

Where are you going? where do you go?
Are you looking for answers to questions under the stars?
If along the way you are growing weary, you can rest with me
Until a brighter day and you're OK

I am no superman
and I have no answers for you
I am no hero, oh that's for sure
But I do know one thing is
Where you are is where I belong
I do know where you go
Is where I wanna be

Where are you going? Where do you go?

Where do you go? Where are you going?
Where do you go?

I am no superman
I have no answers for you
I am no hero; oh that's for sure
But I do know one thing
Is where you are is where I belong
I do know where you go is where I want to be

Where are you going? Where do you go?

Rough MSDS as of May 19, 2011

If one would look at an MSDS-like description of myself right now, one would find the following:
Emotional state: complacent but easily provoked
Boiling Point: low and can boil even at ambient temperatures
Emotional Stability: extremely unstable and unpredictable
Freezing Point: Restless and therefore will not freeze (although being frozen might do good at the moment)
Conditions to Avoid: confrontations, hopelessness, bad vibes
General Description: a volatile, combustible substance ready to ignite and explode.
Storage: Do not leave alone with emo music and long silences such as road trips with no conversations unless very sleepy.
Spills/Leaks: water level at tear ducts are at critical level. Likelihood of crying is high and running out of tears is low.
Extinguishing media: family, friends, pictures, trips, Fluffy, alternatives

Honestly, I am having second thoughts. Did I not analyze enough and am I entirely to blame for what I am going through right now? and so yes, I crashed and burned maybe due to my work ethics... but then again, all I can think of is... It's time... to help myself. I hope I do the right thing and employ the same thought and emotional process as I did before so I will end up with the right decision. And of course, please Father bless whatever the decision and support me as You always do.

Where do you go?

let's go to the beach: Cagbalate

For some reason, I am not too keen on basking on the sun, playing in the sand and wading in the water this year. It's already mid-May and I don't think I've been to the beach yet or even to a resort with just a pool. Call me pathetic or anti-social fine by me. too skin-white conscious I don't think so. (thank God for rash guards!) flab-conscious maybe yes. Nevertheless, whether or not I get to go this year either's fine by me. This country's got a lot of picturesque, wonderful and breathtaking nooks, crannies and beaches. Maybe in due time I'd get to experience the wonder of the must-sees but so far this is one of those that has taken my breath away.

Cagbalate 2010. An island about an hour away from Mauban, Quezon.
What was supposed to be Cagbalete 2009 became Cagbalete 2010 due to the bad weather we had to content with. Not exactly a virgin beach but it gives you the feel of just the right mix of seclusion, serentiy and simple 'resort life'. There are resorts in the area but camping is an option as well (yes, a shower and toilet's available!). We camped out in Pansacola if I'm not mistaken as they were already fully booked.

Mauban port

this is not how you eat habhab

our "campsite"

sand ripples

long stretch of sand..

redefining low tide...

the water recedes way too far for a swim...

that far from the island and people are still standing.

don't know how to swim? not a problem!

If I can I want to go back here and just laze around... no night life here just "chillax" life...

online hiatus

Now it can be said:
abstaining from eating meat was one thing I grew up with but fail to follow from time to time, so this year i sort of decided to follow a good friend's example to 'detoxify' and abstain from all these online vices. I guess you could say I'm too much of an internet/social networking addict. I've got to many online accounts and although not all of them are active it seems it goes to show how dependent I've become to these things.

First stop was deactivating Facebook. Needless to say, this was the hardest of them all and I can totally understand those non-believers. Providing them a reason for this unusual act was equally hard. I tried not to and I preferred not to but the idea I guess just didn't sit too well with others. So unless they came up to their own conclusions I sort of gave them one. Maybe it was partly out of whim or some selfish desire to be out of the radar and to feel missed but I'd like to think that for the most part it was really because I was getting tired of all the negative things about it. It was too much prone to misuse and abuse and a cause for me to lurk, stalk and gossip. Really, it was not that healthy anymore. a good deal of my time I'd be spending just to peruse through the news feed, updates, pictures of contacts etc. It was a good timing to practice self-restraint at that time of the year. Although I initially planned on getting it back up come Easter, it seems it's better to live without it a lot longer... Thus, I am extending it indefinitely. I DO MISS IT THOUGH and it is really tempting to reactivate it just to browse again and that stuff.

I deleted my friendster and i think myspace next. Refraining from posting here was also another one on the list though tumblr, instagram and twitter became my refuge. I love pictures too much whether of people, things or places or anything I had to have something to view and post things to.

I think I'm back on blogger though I kind of feel too tired for this thing now. 

Take two

Will this year be a year of second chances, take two's and yet new experiences? Then again, does that include THAT area? If it does, then technically pretty much nothing will happen... I'd pin my hope on Him and chance though because... You'll never know... You just never know...

HK Revisited: Staying in Kowloon Island

When my mom coaxed me into treating her with a trip abroad, I gave in for several reasons:
1. I finally get to travel abroad again without the hassles of false hopes and failed plans.
2. Countless failed attempts in looking for a group who wanted to travel (with me).
3. I get to choose the destination and I wanted to go somewhere cold.

Thus, even though my mom has been to HK twice and Macau once, since I was the one paying and I had the excuse of never being in Macau, the destination was set.

When I first set foot in HK, we ended up staying in Hong Kong Island at The Wesley Hotel. I don't have much memory of it except that it was decent enough and didn't serve breakfast but was on the small side. In addition, the walk from the hotel to the closer MTR station: admiralty was pretty taxing eventually the longer you stay (assuming you are mostly out during the day exploring HK). So this time around, I decided that we should be staying at Kowloon Island preferably at Tsim Sha Tsui.

all things considered especially the economics of price, location aka proximity to MTR and shops as well as the airport bus, Hotel Benito became the hotel of choice although I had to stretch my budget a little. If I probably booked it say maybe 2-3 months in advance the rate could have been lower. Options included: Imperial Hotel, Salisbury YMCA, Shamrock Hotel, etc. I came close to booking a hostel room at Golden Crown guest house but that was scrimping too much (especially as a treat for a mother) just so I would have more shopping money. Scrutinizing details and reading reviews delayed the booking as well but I guess you could say it was a good decision. Unfortunately, I don't have a picture of their rooms but I didn't look under the bed to see if it was well dusted. It's got space enough for two people I must say. I guess what we liked about it compared to The Wesley was: location! Even my mom had to comment on it. It was almost close to everything.
1. It's just a few walks to the TST station.
2. There are familiar food stalls/fast foods (MCDO, KFC, Burger King, Yoshinoya, etc.) nearby for those who end up eating unplanned meals at off-the-usual hours.
3. The airport bus stop at Nathan Road is close by (A21).

4. Silvercord mall (which is one of the locations of H&M), Harbour View, outlet shops such as Esprit, Giordano, Bossini etc are just a few minutes walk.
5. the ferry station is again a few minutes walk (day trip to Macau shouldn't be a bother).
6. As a plus, we got to sample some of the pastries from this bakery right across the hotel:

7. There is a ForEx stall across the street that buys US Dollars at a higher rate than most we saw. It seems it is still better to bring with you US Dollars if have some or if you can buy them from someone and not from a bank. That way, you would still get better value for your money. You can then exchange a few of them at the airport then the rest at downtown areas. Airport rates are usually lower. Of course, be wary of possible scammers. I had my doubts in this particular stall but we didn't run into any issues during our stay there.

8. Surprisingly Arashi had an ad plastered in the TST station (or was it somewhere else?) which I didn't expect. Oh yeah! Big Plus! hahaha

Iphone is love and so are pictures

 ever since I bought Itouch as a replacement for my Ipod Video I was sold on the touch screen of Apple. Of course, there were the apps as well that you can probably say were a lot and getting, accessing them was I guess you could say dumb-friendly. For the geeks out there, they probably prefer Winmo or android over Apple but at that time I already started regretting choosing Omnia over the iphone. But then again, Iphone's features were nothing compared really to Omnia's. However, I was not able to maximize it and the touch screen was somewhat on the resistive side as what my brother referred it to be. And so the itouch was amazing, I had an omnia, I wanted to get an iphone but didn't sound practical and was too redundant so I had to bear with it until I felt my phone was too old. Then a blessing in disguise, my itouch went swimming and I was forced to buy an iphone. Yeah forced haha. Then I had to wait another few months for the official release of the iphone 4 through Globe then I find out I have a bad record due to a business account under my name etc. etc. Good thing Singapore (and Hong Kong) offers officially unlocked iphones so I got mine from there instead through friends and by December I've been inseparable with my iphone. many apps later, I'm still enjoying it particularly the camera and add-on apps for it. If only, there'd be a decent app for blogger I wouldn't probably contemplate of ditching this and moving to tumblr. Or I might probably open one still to cater to my addiction for pictures (not that I'm good at it). The album below sounds like a good tumblr banner or something as well... thinking thinking :D

Oh Snap!

These apps are my favorites (probably must-haves or I got tricked into buying them but I like them anyway.):
1. Lomolomo
2. hipstamatic
3. instagram
4. photoshop express
5. montager
6. facebook, twitter, yahoo messenger
7. Plants vs Zombies
8. Bejeweled
9. Fruit Ninja
10. Stanza
11. Merriam and Webster
12. PhotoShare
13. Spot the difference
14. restaurant story, bakery story

and a whole lot of others but these are good enough for me as of the moment. Possibly tumblr soon.

Online tribute to a Mentor

I just sent out a short note to my previous manager to thank her for her positive impact probably her legacy to me.
In the 5 years that I've been a corporate rat, I've interacted directly with 4 direct supervisors. 3 of those in just a span of 13 months. But time is irrelevant when leaving a lasting positive impact. Sometimes, all it takes is probably one well-handled situation that tells you and shows you the management skill of a person without any pretense. It neither has to be in your favor but the fact that she can convince you, win you over, turn you around without resorting to politician tactics makes you admire the person all the more. A genuine person able to feel but uses her intellect well: well-balanced and well-grounded. A human-being probably who is well aware of Maslow's hierarchy of needs and a whole gamut of others. It is a skill honed and developed allowing her to respond to a whole gamut of situations. Possibly, I was not under her care long enough to see her faults and flaws magnified, exaggerated by others. To me however, what matters is that I left her supervision with an arm full of learnings that continue to inspire me.
I'll say it again, Doms, though I wish you could have mentored me for longer
I'm glad our paths crossed. Thank You!
Sent from my iPhone

Paranoia, Worry and Vanity

If paranoia, worry and vanity could kill, I'd probably be dead by now. Most likely more because of the former two than the latter.

But a little self-indulgence for vanity's sake... Thank you for the compliments. I need it so I can suck the positive vibe they bring bone dry and boost that dwindling reserve of optimism, patience, confidence and faith. I am flattered really. Keep them coming! :)

Sent from my iPhone

What happened?

 

I was at this club last night, and thoughts of you ran through my head. At one point, I kind of searched through the crowd hoping to see you there. Why did I not go crazy like I did last night when I was with you? Why did I not loosen up when I was younger? Oh yeah, because people take advantage of it and it seems my best interest is only safe with my college buddies.

Anyway, it's not like we've gone out a lot but I guess I can't forget the fact that this was how we bonded. Well, aside from the fact that we shared a ride most nights back then. I liked you then, probably a lot to the point that I'd consider those bonding sessions as a little more than that - a way to enjoy your company. Funny how I started to like you over a glass of an alcohol-laden drink. The word still sticks: "analytical".

I guess conversations get me a lot but not to the point that intimidates the hell out of me. Just enough to show your interest and thoughts of what I think of as my complexities.

I had thought there was something there. I wanted for something to be there but maybe I was just dreaming, maybe I was too dense and foolish or maybe I was just put on the spot too early. Or simply maybe it's not really a match and my time has not yet come. Still I wonder what happened?

2011 Reading List

So I finally got to finish The Time Paradox and thanks to powerbooks sale I have new books to devour. Finally! it sure has been a while.

-Incarceron (my first ever hardcover book and I want more! How about a library?)
(-Sapphique : i got the ebook as i couldn't wait)
-Mortal Instruments Trilogy
-Zahir
-Night
-Hunger Games trilogy
-Love in the time of Cholera

Hopefully, there'd be more like Harry Potter (oh yes i haven't read a single book from this series) and The Atlantis Complex.

Call it even(?)

I've moved on
Now I see
You've also moved on
And I am happy (relieved).
Oh yes! We're even!
You have your life back
I have my life
Or do I?
But are these only imaginings
Foolish thoughts
Hopeless
Anxious
Restless
Pathetic
Are we even?

Sent from my iPhone

Death and Dying

I found myself writing notes for three different people to express my condolence on their loss of a loved one. While I am not exactly friends or family with all of them except for maybe my High School teacher who i was fond of back then, all times I struggled to write something other than condolence or copy another's note. Why is it hard to find the right words to express my empathy on a personal level? Somehow condolence doesn't quite capture it and seems overused, generic and impersonal. I am not sure if it's right to mention the words loss, sympathy(which technically expresses pity), sad and difficult time. I guess the best way would be to say that they are in your prayers. Let's take a moment

Eternal Rest grant unto the souls of our loved ones (no longer here with us) Oh Lord
And let perpetual light shine upon them
May they rest in peace
Amen.

And for the living:
Make us strong and Keep us in Your love as we go on our life's journey.

On another note, it is not uncommon for me to think of death or dying. My vanity is a huge factor or so it seems as evidenced by the choice I made or the thought I had when discussing dying by drowning or burned alive. While one was thinking of the suffering involved in either case and another on what will happen to their loved ones, I was thinking that none would look good afterwards. :D However, with my manner of driving I kind of think that my risk of dying is high which would also be a mess. 

I am not suicidal nor I am ready to do so but sometimes it seems an enticing thought, if only to realize your worth or lately if only to make work go away and give you breathing space. Now that's pathetic.

Happy Vday everyone! 

Until I have someone to celebrate it with I guess it's just any another day for me. You could probably say I just don't get it. how about make me then?! :D

Snap for a Tune: Love Like Rockets

sunset at Anna Maria Beach (or Holmes?) 11.28.2009

Love Like Rockets
Angels and Airwaves

I held my head as it left the ground,
The belts grew tight as the blast grew load,
A loving wish whispered in my ear,
Please lead with grace, all the best my dear,
Yeah, It's like

I held your hand as I pulled you in,
Your lips sealed tight, ready to begin,
I kissed you first, then you kissed my ear,
If I ask you once, will you ask me every year?

Do You Feel Alive? (Imagine, Imagine)
Do You Feel Alive? (Imagine, Imagine)

The Sun it set in the night time sky,
The stars they cast a glow upon my eyes,
The Earth itself a burning ball of light, yeah, it's like
And our first love was ignited late that night

Do You Feel Alive? (Imagine, Imagine)
Do You Feel Alive? (Imagine, Imagine)

The stars in your eyes light up the sky with thoughts, light and fire and sound
The stars in your eyes light up the sky with thoughts, light and fire and sound
(Do You Feel Alive? (Imagine, Imagine))
The stars in your eyes light up the sky with thoughts, light and fire and sound
(Do You Feel Alive? (Imagine, Imagine))
The stars in your eyes light up the sky with thoughts, light and fire and sound
(Do You Feel Alive? (Imagine, Imagine))
The stars in your eyes light up the sky with thoughts, light and fire and sound
(Do You Feel Alive? (Imagine, Imagine))
The stars in your eyes light up the sky with thoughts, light and fire and sound