just anything under the sun depending on my mood. I am particularly moody so a lot of them tend to be emo stuff. I am trying to make it more candid though.... so anything goes! :)
Mannam spearheaded a mass performance of Wonder Girls 'like this' during this year's Boryeong Mud festival in Daecheon. And I was fortunate enough to have been a part of it. So yeah officially they call it a flash mob but it was too organized and anticipated that I think of it more as a field demo.
I don't know much but for around 14 years now, Boryeong has been hosting this mud festival where people mostly foreigners play and paint themselves silly with mud. The mud here are supposed to be good for your skin aesthetically. (no surprise there given the vanity of the locals.) Of course, there's a whole lot of drinking everywhere regardless of the time of day. So ok maybe not until 12 noon when it's almost a ghost town due to the din of the day before. It's my first time to go to Boryeong for the mud festival but going there while being a part of the mob was double the fun. I certainly had a blast.
mud galore!
Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I will voluntarily dance in front of people. Sure there are a whole lot of us (maybe hundreds) but still. Definitely, another jump out of the comfort zone for me. And I am more than glad and thankful for it. Definitely one of the best experience I had so far here in Korea. I have Mannam and new friends/acquaintances to thank for it. Cheers to more happy, fun memories!
while waiting for the "event" to start - in between practice.
woot!
Stop!
Mannam Victory!
after the field demo, it turned into an instant insane beach party. we got soaked/drenched in mud as they hosed the crowd with muddy water.
the beach is not much really. It's the mud and the crazy, fun people/times that you'll be having which makes this a must go!
These past weeks since the hongdae adventure has been so busy I feel like I'm back in college juggling multiple organizations and ending up inactive on some of them. Weekdays are work days and enday mode while weekends are org days. I barely manage to keep up that I missed out on jogging for days/weeks now until last friday. The thing is although I haven't stopped thinking about someone from time to time, it somehow feels as if it's now all part of a distant memory. It's almost as if it's beginning to be a thing of the past. Sometimes, I think we should have stayed as friends. It could have been better that way. Then again, if we did then I'd probably wouldn't be where I am right now. I like it here and now that the alternative appear to be more miserable than rewarding, friends or otherwise.
This is the story of how I got smashed "alone" and lived to tell the tale.
Hongdae or the area around Hongik University is known to be the young generation's go to place for the night life. Since the area is surrounded by 3 (as far as I can remember) universities, there are a lot of young folks here having a good time. And if you're going out on a budget, this would probably one of the cheap places to go to.
First off, do it like how most of them locals do. Start the night with a bottle or two of soju or maekju or combine them aka somaek over dinner (samgyeopsal is a popular menu).
I'm not really a fan of soju but it's strong enough for me to give me a buzz after a few shots. Once done, go around hongdae to find a bar of your choice. We found this BB bar that played my kind of dance music (the one I can bob my head to) in English. I thought the vibe was quite nice. Door charge costs around 10,000 KRW but I got in for free (not sure if it was ladies night). Then down a bucket cocktail (which didn't seem to have any alcohol in it) and some three or four shots of tequila. The bucket cocktail costs around 10,000 won and 6 shots of tequila was also the same. By this time, if you have a low tolerance like me, you are buzzed bordering on drunk enough to dance like crazy just as the bar started to get crowded before midnight. If you're pushy and unlucky, you'll find that you have a companion who downed prolly 9 shots of tequila in quick succession just to get that instant kick himself. After which, he'd get so drunk and will hit on you and start to try and kiss you. You don't mind much as you're having a good time just dancing the night away and settle on evading the crazy kid who somehow you're not surprised fell for your charms (no i'm not being proud because it's not really something to be proud of).You just think, this crazy kid is too immature and just a boy who didn't hear any word you said during dinner. You were obviously sending him signals that you're here to have some fun while still trying to fix your broken self up. No, you didn't plan on getting smashed to forget someone or because you got your heart broken. You just wanted to have be crazy/high and experience the night life elsewhere as you've done on your other assignments (ex. Austin's 6th street). By then, he would probably look to be too close for comfort and harassing you that the bouncers will come escorting your companion out of the club. Of course, while you still wanted so bad to keep on dancing and being chatty to foreign strangers in the club, you had no choice to stay with your companion.
Then, all hell breaks lose. For some odd reason, you are too drunk and high already while your companion is dead drunk puking and lying on the side street. You being the girl, who got so used to your friends taking care of you, end up having to take care of someone. But what can you do, you are high yourself. At that moment, you think you still know what's happening. You think you are still lucid. Then you can't tell the rest of the tale because the memory lapse starts. For all you can remember, you went around the streets of Hongdae by your lonesome self looking for your companion for two hours or so. You apparently lost him. You remember sitting on a step that's wet, embracing a door or gate. You remember talking to a handful of foreigners. You remember handing out your business card to a random friendly guy who probably thought you were hitting on them when in fact you were just too darn friendly and happy to be making acquaintances while talking in English. You have a natural tendency to turn into Oprah when drunk. You remember a group from South Africa. You remember some guy escorting you to his group of friends taking pity on your state. For some reason, all foreigners you talked to (the ones that speak English) are kind and did not prey on an obviously vulnerable drunk (probably high - I honestly can't tell) girl alone in the streets. When you finally give up and decide to go home, you crash a group of foreigners and randomly ask for their help to go home (approaching the girl in the group). Somehow, you know you were still having fun while at that state.
Then you wake up the next morning to find that you have two business cards from the taxi that took you home, that your business cards on your wallet are gone, that you half undressed, that you posted a status on facebook which you never do, that you checked in on foursquare. You know you almost drunk texted someone but thankfully you have deleted the number way back. Then the hangover hits you for a whole day after some delay just when you have been asked to report for work as well. That's my side of the story. It wasn't really that bad. It was actually fun and one for the books... until I learned what happened to my companion...
He was not that lucky and ended up getting robbed: his cellphone together with his cards, his watch and even his glasses. So while I know of someone who pretty much got dead drunk here as well but got back unscathed, it's still not that safe. I thank my lucky stars, my guardian angels and Him most especially for taking care of me. So as a friend said, it was a great experience though dangerous but I should not push my luck. So would I do it again? Maybe not anytime soon but probably in better company. :)
June 30. A crazy night in Hongdae indeed! You should try it once. (not necessarily in Hongdae and try for a little safer option)
I just got back from another awesome day/night and it is such a good feeling I have right now. It's been one adventure after another. More on those next time maybe when I have the time (teaser: photoshoots, crazy hongdae night, mannam, peak, etc.). Somehow I have this feeling that I'm back in college again and I am kind of wondering what happened between then and now. Of course, I've had several great and fun times especially with my college friends but I kind of feel that I missed out. Those lull moments in my life, should have been filled with moments like this before. I played safe and went with the flow too much I forgot how good I am in different aspects. But then again, without the triggers and the past to compare things with I wouldn't be able to tell. Now I am able to appreciate and see things in a whole different way especially when taking risks and embarking on adventures. I can do more and be more. I am just glad of the experiences so far. In time, I have to think more for the long-term (aka settling down) and the personal but while I'm still here might as well do more and live more - exerience life to the fullest. Everything really happens for a reason.
I hope this feeling would last because right now I am in love with life. I think I am actually starting to love it here. ❤
P.S. I still can't help but sing songs like long gone and moved on sometimes. Maybe there are things you just don't forget but it's all good.
"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.
So. love the people who treat you right
and forget about the ones who don't.
And believe
that everything happens for a reason...
if you get a chance - take it;
if it changes your life - let it.
Nobody said that it would be easy...
They just promised it would be worth it."
Side note: Life changing indeed. Amazing how one can grow and evolve with the coalescence of events that time is immaterial. It has been 104 long days It's just been 104 days of South Korea but it's been the greatest teacher so far.
Feelings/emotions have a funny way of sneaking up on you. Just when you thought you've gone through the notions and that there's nothing left but small amounts of pain, hurt or rejection. It just suddenly hits you out of nowhere. Sometimes it might take just one good memory or a picture to be reminded and then the feeling starts to come flooding in. Just like a broken dam threatening to wash away all that you've learned making you more vulnerable than ever to the same or even greater pain. Because the pain has subsided you tend to forget everything else. While it's not easy to forget the rekindled feelings, one must remember everything - to see the whole picture. Paulo Coelho just about sums it up in Aleph what's more important. "Make peace with your past so that it won't destroy your present" Car is parked, bags are packed, but what kind of heart doesn't look back At the comfortable glow from the porch, the one I will still call yours? All those words came undone and now I'm not the only one Facing the ghosts that decide if the fire inside still burns
Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it And I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you But in reality I'm slowly losing my my mind Underneath the guise of a smile gradually I'm dying inside Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly 'Cause I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night And turn down all the lights and then break down and cry So what do you do when somebody you're devoted to Suddenly just stops loving you and it seems they haven't got a clue Of the pain that rejection is putting you through Do you cling to your pride and sing "I will survive" Do you lash out and say "How dare you leave this way" Do you hold on in vain as they just slip away
Time to let this go and move on... I'll get there eventually.
"a change from one way of thinking to another. It's a revolution, a transformation, a sort of metamorphosis. It just does not happen, but rather it is driven by agents of change."
-from http://www.taketheleap.com/define.html
This is a popular phrase for ChE students from the university mainly because one professor use this a lot in his ChE31 class. While I did not attend that class, the constant mention of this by friends and batchmates made an impression in my brain.
Fast forward, May 2012. I did not imagine that my manager after some discussion of the status of my long term site assignment would recommend this to help me get through the remaining months that I signed up for. At that time, I could not think of a way how this would happen because all there seemed to be left were trivial, unimportant things that I no longer value as much to drive me in another direction. Right now though, that is exactly what I went through. A huge paradigm shift. I don't hate this assignment as much and when I think about it my life is not as miserable as I had thought it was and would be. In fact, my life would have been more miserable if things did not happen. Things really do happen for a reason.
Sometimes, even if we think there is nothing that can get out to reorient ourselves, situations present themselves to help us do that - to undergo a paradigm shift. Like they say, it is just up to us to make lemonades out of lemons.
It's really more on perspective. One tree can look both small
Early morning hike somewhere in Daesan.
and towering depending on how you look at it.
Korea has islands too!
There's always a view and it's just a matter of looking for the better one. This is still subjective of course.
There are some things in your life that you may not be proud of. You might even feel a tad bit ashamed of the stupid, foolish mishaps you've made. But rather than think of them as stupidity, it is best to treat them as craziness. Crazy is good as it pushes you outside of your comfort zone and makes you experience more to life than what you thought. It is in the crazy things that sometimes we can say that we have truly lived. As long as you still have a sense of what's real from imagined, you should be fine. The outcome may not be what you expect as it is wholly unpredictable if not the exact opposite but in the greater scheme of things and with the right attitude they will make sense. Trust that. It is still up to you where you want to be taken with the push that life is giving you - for the better or for the worse.
I may not be proud of what happened but I'm glad it did. Sure the wound is still healing but once that's done I'll be damn proud of the scar. I was stupid and foolish. I was crazy. I am alive after all!
Ted: The but is there's always gonna be a but. No matter how great things are going sooner or later it's gonna get ruined.
Robin: Ted, everyone has baggage you just gotta look past it.
Ted: You see, everyone's got some baggage. It's part of life but like anything else it's easier when someone gives you a hand with it. - HIMYM
This is probably one of my favorite episodes in the series since I first watched it a few months back. I love how emotional baggage was objectified as actual baggages.
the message is just too good not to repost. Calvin: If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently. Hobbes: How so? Calvin: Well, when you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.
Now I remember, I haven't finished reading the two Calvin and Hobbes comic books someone lent me (which I did not get to return). Makes me wanna read them. I should finish the other books/ebooks first though.
Come to think of it, I even watched this film before it got even farther. Still I ended up misreading the signs...
Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, every story you’re told implores you to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope…
Everyday I find myself making some progress little by little as I take baby steps but the more I monitor the progress the more frustrated I become. With each day I find myself resetting over and over. In the words of John Mayer, "When you're dreaming with a broken heart the waking up is the hardest part ." Just when I thought I've made good progress, the moment I wake up the following day, it's as if I'm back to square one. But I am hopeful that somehow these baby steps I'm taking will overtake the resets... eventually.
Gonna Get Over You
Sara Bareilles
Goodbye
Should be sayin' that to you by now, shouldn't I?
Layin' down the law that I live by,
Though maybe next time
I've got a thick tongue,
Brimming with the words that go unsung
Simmer then the burn for a someone,
A wrong one
And I tell myself to let the story end,
My heart will rest in someone else's hand
My 'why not me?' philosophy began,
And I say
oh, how'm I gonna get over you?
I'll be alright, just not tonight
Someday oh I wish you'd want me to stay I'll be alright, just not tonight, Someday
Maybe is a vicious little word that can slay me
Keep me when I'm hurting and make me,
Hang from your hands
Well, no more,
I won't beg to buy a shot at your back door
If I make it at the thought of you, what for?
It's not me anymore
And I'm not the girl that I intend to be,
I dare you darling, just you wait and see
But this time not for you but just for me,
And I say
Ooh, how'm I gonna get over you?
I'll be alright, just not tonight
Someday, oh I wish you'd want me to stay
I'll be alright, just not tonight,
Someday
Say it's coming soon,
Someday without you,
All I can do
Is get me past the ghost of you,
Wave goodbye to me,
I won't say I'm sorry,
I'll be alright
once I find the other side of someday
Oohoohooohoohooh...
Oohoohooohoohooh...
Ooh, how'm I gonna get over you?
I'll be alright, just not tonight
Someday, oh I wish you'd want me to stay
I'll be alright, just not tonight,
Someday
It just hit me today how I deal with something new such as work. As I grope and get a feel of things, I try to prove myself and make adjustments. I try to tolerate and extend the limits of my patience and what I can take even though it's not ok or against my beliefs. I just silently obey and go on... That is until I explode.
Yes, I have issues being diplomatically assertive even at work (new ones that unfortunately test the limits of my patience).
Thankfully I have channeled those explosions not to the office here but elsewhere.
In hindsight, I guess I could have been just an explosion waiting to happen. I just never got that far...
