Box full of memories

Disclaimer: Again pardon for all the drama, apparently I’m on this emo mode which I don’t know when will end…

I was digging through this “box” were I kept thingamajings with “sentimental values” and came across this unused card which I bought sometime in 2002… 4 years pala not three… that f*cking long already… I’m that f*cking old… I’m a f*cking overage member of the nbsb crew already.. when will I f*cking graduate?… or will I ever?

Words by Derrick Barnes

Never in my wildest dreams
would I have thought
that I would ever meet
a soul as beautiful as you.
If someone would’ve told me
that in my future
an angel would drop from the sky
into my world,
I wouldn’t have believed them,
even if they were psychic.
The things you speak of, your thoughts,
the way you express and share
your emotions –
all blend perfectly with
how I’ve always longed to feel.
If there is, indeed,
“somebody for everybody”
in this great big place,
my “someone” has arrived.
You have given me
a joy beyond words
and a love that everyone
hopes to find.
Seems as if we’re allowed
one true love…
and you are mine.

I can remember me especially liking the last line. As always, regrets… somehow I think I wouldn’t be like this right now if I did this and that…

not so random song:
Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go
Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I've finally realised it was forever that I've found
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go
I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see
Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry)
Can't you see, (ohhh) that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, (I should know) cos I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go
[Thanks to Swish2115@aol.com for these lyrics]

wish ko lang....

wishful thinking - Material girl mode

• cds: lighthouse family, rascal flatts, goo goo dolls, bukas palad christmas album, etc.
• stitch/care bears "huggables"
• dvds (series:koreanovelas, csi etc.; movies: amelie, rent, il mare etc)
• bags
• hankies (armando caruso) - lose them a lot! (hehe)
• books
• miracle/thierry mugler perfume
• bag charm, earrings, accessories (kikay stuff - not too kikay though! ahaha)
• pink jacket (aka esc '05-'06)

desperate mode/topak mode

• boylet specifically... ahahaha

thought for the day: "the world has become too big... much too big..."
while for awkward moments though this applies: "the world is too small... much too crowded even for two people..."

as always... still no guts...

truthfully...

disclaimer: (too much drama for this post beware)

He makes all things possible...

and because of that we are indebted to HIM... we wouldn't have made it if not for Him... your prayers and your support... Thank you very much... i've never been this happy... naluha ako sa tuwa nang makita ko ang pangalan ko... kasi masaya ako at masasabi kong tapos na xa... at dahil pinaghirapan ko yun... mas masarap sa pakiramdam ang nakamtan mo ang isang bagay na pinaghirapan mo instead of taking things for granted... you appreciate everything and life is more meaningful... Lord, thank you very much... St. Jude thank you for the intercession...

to my felllow batchmates, para sa lahat ng puyat, pag-aaral at pagdadasal sa grounds ng MLQU bago magpunta sa rooms... ENGINEERS na tayo! CONGRATS!

Cheers!!!!!

This one's for you Chinx! Happy Birthday and Congratulations! You're now a Certified Public Accountant! I'm really happy for you! You deserve it! May you have more blessings to come! Love you friend!!!! *mwah*

current ym status: "if I could flly away..." --- it's NO to distractions till the 16th!!!

just one blunt comment was all i needed to hurl me back to reality and make me realize i've been reacting incorrectly - in such a way to invite not avoid them... that night the stars twinkled...

ride the waves but don't let the current control you...
don't let your guard down if you're not ready to be exposed...
danger lurks out in the open, so be prepared...
and if you should fall, get up...
withdraw and fallback, then reinforce your walls...

i got carried away... thanks for the reality check...
... this is why i'm becoming numb...boo me! but i can't deal...i'd really rather not...

MIA...

and the countdown begins... not really... but on my way home when i cut review class to get my facial earlier and to arrive home well before 8pm, i suddenly realized that it's just like two more weeks of review and then the post-test... it's hard to discipline oneself and juggle work and review and nothing more... goodbye amazing race?CSI?treasure hunters? saturday family day out? huuuuuuuuuuu.... but at some point i know i really have to... but it's hard since i am trying to squeeze in extra work hours. i know i am only paid as much but my pace somehow cannot keep up with my deliverables... it is encouraging though that my parents are very supportive of me... well, for them to say "konting tiis na lang, pagtiyagaan mo na", and to say that my dad was able to do it on his own without the aid of a review center and that he did it in more or less a month, i would say it's a toss between encouraging and nerve wracking! hello pressure!!!! i've got barely a month to get my act together... and it's so nice to hear that my batchmates who decided that opportunity is not something you just let go of, are thinking of postponing taking the exam!!!! but in as much as i want to postpone too so that i don't have to deal, i can't... and I hope I have the blessing of the Lord in this decision. i can only delay application for NBI clearance (Cha, if you're reading this, I checked the PRC website nothing there states that we need one but Erwin I think mentioned that it is an exemption for us! i can only wonder why?!!!!), having my "mugshot" (is that how you spell it? too lazy to check, in a hurry to "scan notes" but itching to blog)...

anyone out there reading this, please include me and my batchmates in your prayers. to my batchmates, may God bless us!

as for work, I'm really having trouble keeping up. i am really doing what i can to measure up with the expected workload but somehow i still find myself lagging behind at the end of the day. considering that i almost don't chat anymore, scan blogs, etc... but on the light side, i feel more at ease now with my team mates... i'm just a bit concerned that they're pairing me off with this person and that... it's nothing really to me and take it as nothing personal and all part of office dynamics (interrelationships) and as best as i can ride along. but it has come to my attention that should i not react negatively or dislike/distaste in what they're doing my image might suffer in the long run. rumors can get pretty nasty. remarking: "ano ba yan, para na akong pokpok" may do little to communicate to the rest of the world that i'm not a flirt! i know it really should not be a big deal. it's just good that somebody warned me early on so that i can also warn others in the process. not everybody knows me well enough but everybody's a judge of someone else's character and i cannot always go on explaining myself to them... proactive monitoring lang... :D

***all i can hear is my mind talking... but i have to hear my heart as well... there's so much noise i can't hear it... or i could feel it reaching out to me yet i choose to ignore and pretend to be deaf...***
***i think i've become numb again and closed my doors... i know it, i'm waiting for you to let me feel it... it seems texting ain't enough...***

say what?!!!

for some reason, I must post this article here or at least part of it...

Gonzalez: UP breeds destabilizers, naked runners
By Armand Nocum
Inquirer
Last updated 02:25am (Mla time) 08/27/2006
Published on page A5 of the August 27, 2006 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer

THIS time Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez has picked on the University of the Philippines school system, saying it mainly produces militant protesters and fraternity men and women who run around the campus naked.
“That school breeds the destabilizers that haunt the country year after year. They are acting as if they are the only ones who know how to run the country,” Gonzalez told the Inquirer yesterday.He made it clear, however, that he was not assailing the entire university population because “there are many students there who are bright and good.”Interviewed by phone while he was with President Macapagal-Arroyo in Guimaras, Gonzalez pointed to the Oblation run of the APO fraternity as another indication of the kind of students that came from UP.
“I doff my hat to them because they initiate the running of naked people... That’s also one kind of culture that they develop there,” he said, noting that women had begun to join the naked run as well which is held in December.
“Maybe we are going in that direction... there are now women running naked. I will not be surprised if they will go to school with only their books, nothing more,” he said.
>>> from Inq7.net:http://newsinfo.inq7.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view_article.php?article_id=17434

just like any other day...

to be honest, not many would have known (for I tried my best to hide it din nmn, although i gave hints to some) that I was so not feeling yesterday. I mean it is not just any day,but heck up until the night before, I'd find myself crying. (or at least near tears). anyway, so to downplay the sadness I guess, treating it as just any other day was my escape route...

and although, I didn't exactly get 2 of the things I wished for today, things turned out fine after all(if you look on the bright side). One, we didn't win in the presentation. Yes, we hoped and expected.Why not? our groupmates really gave their best. kung kaming pasaway na sunod lang ng sunod na-disappoint pano pa kaya sila na nag-organize. Oh well, at least we know that we wowed the audience.Maybe too much, cause come presentation end, everybody was so amazed at what we did to even react or clap. (there goes the audience impact!) It wasn't for the measly 4000 worth of GCs (which we'd have to divide to approx 40) but yeah, the pride and recognition for a job well done. You can just imagine the amount of effort our organizers put into the preparation just to come up with a winning entry.

Second, well... it's a bit confidential... rest assured it's something not someone (and not that expensive as well). But I guess, it's not yet my time... Hopefully one day.

on the bright and sunny part though, I am touched with all the greetings... i'm not that hard to please din pala after all... you just have to surprise me! ahaha... the biggest surprise of all came from bowdy and jeff though! ehehe (ayos ang GB3 walkway!) I appreciate the gesture so much. Thanks! And to everyone, who cares, knows, remembers... THANKS!

Message for everyone:
.::"you guys have no idea how ordinary I felt yesterday was and should be. it your greetings and thoughtfulness that reminded me how special yesterday was... thank you really..."::.

after college...

so yeah, I still haven't slept. and I'm actually in the mood to stretch myself further... just like college days... how i wish though that this is for review... i'm scared... wish I'd really seriously start my self-review soon and start befriending Perry, Foust, McCabe, Smith, Levenspiel, Sullivan, Brown, Petrucci, Leithold, etc. I'm not proud of the fact that I am done with rewriting my notes for Algebra which makes up like not even 1% of the topics/subjects I have to cover. But I'm happy with the fact, that finally I started. I just have to keep this up and budget my time wisely. (yeah right! i really hope so!)

it's actually hard when there are really interesting shows. I mean it's mega-speed week in NGC. I already missed inside 9/11 today, as well as CSI Miami. Oh well...

there are days when when I enjoy what I'm doing but then there are those days I just want to get up and leave... life...

***it's Cha's birthday today. Happy Birthday! keep smiling!***

where art thou?

where have my entries gone to?
blame it on lack of inspiration.... nah!
blame it on "Life"... "my Life"
I really need to get a Life... there's like this new bar, I think in GB3 which goes by the name of BED space (or something like that) but the whole concept is no conventional seats/tables, just beds/sofa beds. Got to saw it last monday, when we ate at D'Marks. so anyone interested to check the place out?... so yeah, as if I'm free!!! so brave of me to ask! anyway, I really hope that I'd get to go someplace after the board exam this November (so as to put to good use my digicam which is depreciating very fast...). I can only hope...
where have my entries gone to?
maybe to some other free sites... :p

thanks:)

*hugs* for everyone for the hi's and hello's... thanks really:) i'm sorry if i was not able to reply immediately or if i didn't reply at all... it's not that i'm always sad... there are really days when i feel sucky and all...
another round of thanks to those who care... i may not appear to be that appreciative all the time. i may be insensitive or indifferent... i may not be able to reciprocate... but thank you for understanding and somehow making me feel that I have my own worth and reason for being...
I was just browsing through my compilation of pictures from college, and it sucks. as if I don't miss college enough already! waaah! ALCHEMES, sem-enders, GAs, tambays, EK days, eng'g week etc. planning sems (though my collection of pics from the council is pretty much non-existent! paging esc pips! menge copy! puh-lease!:D) haaaay... on a lighter note, at least I have pictures I can browse through every once in a while... good times!:D miss ko na kayo sobra! (review classmates hindi masyado! ahaha:D peace!:D)
and yeah for the record, I am still not in review mode! the heck, I made a comprehensive personal schedule for review starting last Monday and guess what! I haven't started yet! still! gosh! I really need some self-discpline! I gotta start reviewing lest I end up cramming! But at least for the past days, I've been doing some sort of way(lasts at the most 10mins! ahaha:D yay me!) to help me lose the extra weight I've gained because of overeating and oversleeping! hehe:D
hope i'll be able to meet up with ate kim et al tom...:D
*hugs and kisses* for everyone! thanks for making me feel a lil better if not completely fine!:D

after ten years... again another update...

it's not that I lost interest in making public my life or at least some of it, (or maybe my drive sort of waned as compared before). It's just that I tried xanga for a while since that site has been rotting, in the hopes of upping a bit the site meter(which for some reason didn't seem to work). Though it's not like there were a lot of entries there either... oh gosh i am so boring! blog fever where art though?

so ok, I got to watch TROY only last night when it was shown over HBO and I wasn't even able to start the movie! one word though: ACHILLES! oh man, why didn't I watch that movie way before?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

and yeah I dropped by the school to get my clearance and stuff last Friday. I sooooo miss school!!!! waaaah! :(

***smile like you mean it***