feel as if a raincloud has been hovering over me since last week (or maybe even since the start of 05. But I may be focusing too much on the bad daaays but lately...)... Wish it would go away... The sooner the better... Don't think I could take anymore mishaps...Misfortunes... Am just so drained... Even crying - my favorite outlet - is taking a great deal of energy from me... *sigh* DEMET! (read: damnit) still got an exam later... Not very hopeful... Need a tutor.. Need a break! goodness! ... God help me, pleeeeeaase!
to be honest, after that episode wherein I figured in a minor accident, I've always imagined myself getting involved in an even greater tragedy. It's as if the picture is so clear inside my head. It's as if I want to actually experience it. Know what it is? While driving, and when the roads aren't jammed(think: freeways) I imagine that I'll(the car with me inside) BE hit by any other vehicle traveling at the very least at 100kph! My gosh! I don't know what's gone into me. But I always think of the same thing while driving, that sometimes there's this stupid nagging feeling for me to try it and see what happens. Must be really stressed out (coupled with F1 addiction)... pro the impact, the collision, it really intrigues me... And sometimes, deep inside I wanna die... Though I know I am not yet ready...i don't consider myself as suicidal though...
P.S. wish me luck guys. really need it plus prayers... or even a miracle... just so downright depressed or if not utterly sad...
1 comment:
so, first comment ko. pre, mdyo preho tyo ng status ngyn pero diff sits nga lng. iiyak mo lng yan. hehe. kso wag na lng msydo paranoid, bka mabaliw k nyan. y not take a break? you're askin for it pero you're not doin/takin it? panood mo yung movie ni sharon&aga? "you can't stop because you won't stop." there's always time for breaks. school nga mismo meron, ikaw p kya. don't be too hard on urself. take it. wla mawawala sayo. if not, fine, just be used to that kind of feeling for the rest of ur school days, probably for the rest of your career and if it still went on, inevitably for the rest of your life. don't let things hanging. the longer you wait, the longer you linger. just some words to think about. good luck!
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