just one blunt comment was all i needed to hurl me back to reality and make me realize i've been reacting incorrectly - in such a way to invite not avoid them... that night the stars twinkled...

ride the waves but don't let the current control you...
don't let your guard down if you're not ready to be exposed...
danger lurks out in the open, so be prepared...
and if you should fall, get up...
withdraw and fallback, then reinforce your walls...

i got carried away... thanks for the reality check...
... this is why i'm becoming numb...boo me! but i can't deal...i'd really rather not...

MIA...

and the countdown begins... not really... but on my way home when i cut review class to get my facial earlier and to arrive home well before 8pm, i suddenly realized that it's just like two more weeks of review and then the post-test... it's hard to discipline oneself and juggle work and review and nothing more... goodbye amazing race?CSI?treasure hunters? saturday family day out? huuuuuuuuuuu.... but at some point i know i really have to... but it's hard since i am trying to squeeze in extra work hours. i know i am only paid as much but my pace somehow cannot keep up with my deliverables... it is encouraging though that my parents are very supportive of me... well, for them to say "konting tiis na lang, pagtiyagaan mo na", and to say that my dad was able to do it on his own without the aid of a review center and that he did it in more or less a month, i would say it's a toss between encouraging and nerve wracking! hello pressure!!!! i've got barely a month to get my act together... and it's so nice to hear that my batchmates who decided that opportunity is not something you just let go of, are thinking of postponing taking the exam!!!! but in as much as i want to postpone too so that i don't have to deal, i can't... and I hope I have the blessing of the Lord in this decision. i can only delay application for NBI clearance (Cha, if you're reading this, I checked the PRC website nothing there states that we need one but Erwin I think mentioned that it is an exemption for us! i can only wonder why?!!!!), having my "mugshot" (is that how you spell it? too lazy to check, in a hurry to "scan notes" but itching to blog)...

anyone out there reading this, please include me and my batchmates in your prayers. to my batchmates, may God bless us!

as for work, I'm really having trouble keeping up. i am really doing what i can to measure up with the expected workload but somehow i still find myself lagging behind at the end of the day. considering that i almost don't chat anymore, scan blogs, etc... but on the light side, i feel more at ease now with my team mates... i'm just a bit concerned that they're pairing me off with this person and that... it's nothing really to me and take it as nothing personal and all part of office dynamics (interrelationships) and as best as i can ride along. but it has come to my attention that should i not react negatively or dislike/distaste in what they're doing my image might suffer in the long run. rumors can get pretty nasty. remarking: "ano ba yan, para na akong pokpok" may do little to communicate to the rest of the world that i'm not a flirt! i know it really should not be a big deal. it's just good that somebody warned me early on so that i can also warn others in the process. not everybody knows me well enough but everybody's a judge of someone else's character and i cannot always go on explaining myself to them... proactive monitoring lang... :D

***all i can hear is my mind talking... but i have to hear my heart as well... there's so much noise i can't hear it... or i could feel it reaching out to me yet i choose to ignore and pretend to be deaf...***
***i think i've become numb again and closed my doors... i know it, i'm waiting for you to let me feel it... it seems texting ain't enough...***

say what?!!!

for some reason, I must post this article here or at least part of it...

Gonzalez: UP breeds destabilizers, naked runners
By Armand Nocum
Inquirer
Last updated 02:25am (Mla time) 08/27/2006
Published on page A5 of the August 27, 2006 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer

THIS time Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez has picked on the University of the Philippines school system, saying it mainly produces militant protesters and fraternity men and women who run around the campus naked.
“That school breeds the destabilizers that haunt the country year after year. They are acting as if they are the only ones who know how to run the country,” Gonzalez told the Inquirer yesterday.He made it clear, however, that he was not assailing the entire university population because “there are many students there who are bright and good.”Interviewed by phone while he was with President Macapagal-Arroyo in Guimaras, Gonzalez pointed to the Oblation run of the APO fraternity as another indication of the kind of students that came from UP.
“I doff my hat to them because they initiate the running of naked people... That’s also one kind of culture that they develop there,” he said, noting that women had begun to join the naked run as well which is held in December.
“Maybe we are going in that direction... there are now women running naked. I will not be surprised if they will go to school with only their books, nothing more,” he said.
>>> from Inq7.net:http://newsinfo.inq7.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view_article.php?article_id=17434

just like any other day...

to be honest, not many would have known (for I tried my best to hide it din nmn, although i gave hints to some) that I was so not feeling yesterday. I mean it is not just any day,but heck up until the night before, I'd find myself crying. (or at least near tears). anyway, so to downplay the sadness I guess, treating it as just any other day was my escape route...

and although, I didn't exactly get 2 of the things I wished for today, things turned out fine after all(if you look on the bright side). One, we didn't win in the presentation. Yes, we hoped and expected.Why not? our groupmates really gave their best. kung kaming pasaway na sunod lang ng sunod na-disappoint pano pa kaya sila na nag-organize. Oh well, at least we know that we wowed the audience.Maybe too much, cause come presentation end, everybody was so amazed at what we did to even react or clap. (there goes the audience impact!) It wasn't for the measly 4000 worth of GCs (which we'd have to divide to approx 40) but yeah, the pride and recognition for a job well done. You can just imagine the amount of effort our organizers put into the preparation just to come up with a winning entry.

Second, well... it's a bit confidential... rest assured it's something not someone (and not that expensive as well). But I guess, it's not yet my time... Hopefully one day.

on the bright and sunny part though, I am touched with all the greetings... i'm not that hard to please din pala after all... you just have to surprise me! ahaha... the biggest surprise of all came from bowdy and jeff though! ehehe (ayos ang GB3 walkway!) I appreciate the gesture so much. Thanks! And to everyone, who cares, knows, remembers... THANKS!

Message for everyone:
.::"you guys have no idea how ordinary I felt yesterday was and should be. it your greetings and thoughtfulness that reminded me how special yesterday was... thank you really..."::.

after college...

so yeah, I still haven't slept. and I'm actually in the mood to stretch myself further... just like college days... how i wish though that this is for review... i'm scared... wish I'd really seriously start my self-review soon and start befriending Perry, Foust, McCabe, Smith, Levenspiel, Sullivan, Brown, Petrucci, Leithold, etc. I'm not proud of the fact that I am done with rewriting my notes for Algebra which makes up like not even 1% of the topics/subjects I have to cover. But I'm happy with the fact, that finally I started. I just have to keep this up and budget my time wisely. (yeah right! i really hope so!)

it's actually hard when there are really interesting shows. I mean it's mega-speed week in NGC. I already missed inside 9/11 today, as well as CSI Miami. Oh well...

there are days when when I enjoy what I'm doing but then there are those days I just want to get up and leave... life...

***it's Cha's birthday today. Happy Birthday! keep smiling!***

where art thou?

where have my entries gone to?
blame it on lack of inspiration.... nah!
blame it on "Life"... "my Life"
I really need to get a Life... there's like this new bar, I think in GB3 which goes by the name of BED space (or something like that) but the whole concept is no conventional seats/tables, just beds/sofa beds. Got to saw it last monday, when we ate at D'Marks. so anyone interested to check the place out?... so yeah, as if I'm free!!! so brave of me to ask! anyway, I really hope that I'd get to go someplace after the board exam this November (so as to put to good use my digicam which is depreciating very fast...). I can only hope...
where have my entries gone to?
maybe to some other free sites... :p

thanks:)

*hugs* for everyone for the hi's and hello's... thanks really:) i'm sorry if i was not able to reply immediately or if i didn't reply at all... it's not that i'm always sad... there are really days when i feel sucky and all...
another round of thanks to those who care... i may not appear to be that appreciative all the time. i may be insensitive or indifferent... i may not be able to reciprocate... but thank you for understanding and somehow making me feel that I have my own worth and reason for being...
I was just browsing through my compilation of pictures from college, and it sucks. as if I don't miss college enough already! waaah! ALCHEMES, sem-enders, GAs, tambays, EK days, eng'g week etc. planning sems (though my collection of pics from the council is pretty much non-existent! paging esc pips! menge copy! puh-lease!:D) haaaay... on a lighter note, at least I have pictures I can browse through every once in a while... good times!:D miss ko na kayo sobra! (review classmates hindi masyado! ahaha:D peace!:D)
and yeah for the record, I am still not in review mode! the heck, I made a comprehensive personal schedule for review starting last Monday and guess what! I haven't started yet! still! gosh! I really need some self-discpline! I gotta start reviewing lest I end up cramming! But at least for the past days, I've been doing some sort of way(lasts at the most 10mins! ahaha:D yay me!) to help me lose the extra weight I've gained because of overeating and oversleeping! hehe:D
hope i'll be able to meet up with ate kim et al tom...:D
*hugs and kisses* for everyone! thanks for making me feel a lil better if not completely fine!:D

after ten years... again another update...

it's not that I lost interest in making public my life or at least some of it, (or maybe my drive sort of waned as compared before). It's just that I tried xanga for a while since that site has been rotting, in the hopes of upping a bit the site meter(which for some reason didn't seem to work). Though it's not like there were a lot of entries there either... oh gosh i am so boring! blog fever where art though?

so ok, I got to watch TROY only last night when it was shown over HBO and I wasn't even able to start the movie! one word though: ACHILLES! oh man, why didn't I watch that movie way before?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

and yeah I dropped by the school to get my clearance and stuff last Friday. I sooooo miss school!!!! waaaah! :(

***smile like you mean it***

restless...

saw hotness again today, wala lang after a long time... though i no longer have a crush on him... on the other hand, got a new crush. :) cuteness! and the voice! gosh! haaay... i'd bet his taken though like my other crush (which i recently confirmed as being "in a relationship" thanks to the search option in friendster)!hehe:D
we're gonna watch x-men 2m! yay! bought tix na in advance before going home...:D i learned my lesson with da vinci(still to watch that movie, might watch it on dvd na lang!). though the line in gateway is so much longer!
freaky! sino ka ba? 09197735665............................................... tagos ang mga quotes mo tsong![sadness creeping in, though if ur that person, yikes tlga...] i'm so wondering tuloy if you're a complete stranger or what!sino ka ba?????????

missing college... already...

hmmm... i wanna update, because the entries in this blog are so outdated. but then again, i am not interested... i am so much more interested in reading other people's stories... hehe:) i'm gonna try...

i'm feeling kinda blue because of all sorts of things... one of which because i terribly miss college or being a student... haaay... it's so much fun being a student! >>> yeah, yeah, now i know! a couple of you guys told me so!...

HS friends are somewhere in antipolo right now... too bad i can't go... oh well, hope there's a next time... in between now and december, i hope coz december's way too far...miss you guys!:D

it's summertime again in the US, meaning lots of movies!(or at least those that i like)
the da vinci code, XMEN, Superman, Pirates... haaay...

(pic courtesy of: http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1808556813/photo/597604)
me likes johnny depp!!! not in a crush way... just like pirates 1 and willy wonka :D

so much for an attempt to make kwento... wow so conio! ahaha:)

[edit, too lazy to open a new post-May 20 pm]:
am still trying to reserve tix for da vinci despite the negative things i've been hearing and though i've read the book na... wanna watch after review... can't get to reserve online though...
Kath, why the cuervo session? hope everything's fine...
....they look cute together, and so right for each other? think they are a match... i sort of envy them though...
Dani, happy happy birthday. hope you had lots of reasons to smile and be especially happy this day. Keep smiling:D God bless:D
so there, finally a new entry the blogdiggers can read:D ehehe:D

peechur peechur!:D

sa mga pinagkakautangan q ng pix at sa mga gusto magka-copy ng pix na andun sila, just click on the link: http://joyce04.multiply.com/photos
binuhay q multiply account q for that! hehe:D senxa kung tamad mag-email... :D
and sa mga may pix na andun ako, pls do email me a copy! or if not pls do tell me if you have an account that i can access! puhleeeease!:D hehe:D tenchu!:D

senti mode...

...will definitely miss college... to be honest i think college was way better than high school in terms of the wealth and variety of experiences I had inside and outside of school. and also because I did not have to be too competitive and grade conscious to the point that friendships were affected... yes it was stressful and hard but the lessons learned, the friends gained, the experiences acquired, all add up and make for a very rewarding 5 years. UP specifically the college of engineering has been more than a school but a home... (shit so cheesy! but then again, it's not always like this)... and I owe it to UP ALCHEMES, UP PRIME, UP ESC, my professors, the people I've met, my classmates, my friends from way back, the new found friends, the boys... hehe:D even enemies...

to my batchmates, especially the 5th year ALCHEMISTS. really thank you for everything. i know I've mentioned you guys more than once in this blog but you i am just so grateful. i was scared of being a loner (sometimes i still am, though by choice), of not having friends, of not enjoying college. i expected that college will all be academics, i did not expect it to be so colorful... (drama!) really thanks so much. will miss you guys sobra. hope we'd get to bond once in a while pa rin... and walang kalimutan especially yung mga madaling yayaman jan! hehe:D special mention to these people: cha, luh, and lims (my plant design groupmates), kat and bryan (my ChE 135 groupmates), marj and al (ChE 125 groupmates), albert, jake, jp, dani, fem, yani, cecile, feng, cy, riyann, pjo, atan, elle, bods, mark, glei, kawen, etc. :D also sa mga batchmates q sa ESC, special mention cyemps ang acad comm hehe:D pakner ley, ju, and GEO! at cyemps Rhet and Daniel!:D

College of Engineering Batch 2006, CONGRATULATIONS!

grad ball sa tuesday, kita-kits nalang.:D

congrats by the way to the ChE Reps 06-07 for the oriental (and very successful) Grad dinner last thursday, April 20 held at Kublai's and the ESC 06-07 for the College Recog Rites last saturday, April 22, 2006. :D

ala lang... latest download from limewire...:D

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY - Natasha Bedingfield

Would you spare me a minute give me a single chance
To look in your eyes let me hold your hand
I want to get close enough to read you, understand you
Open up your heart open up your mind
Nobody needs another stalker in your life
I'm only here to help you learn to love me, to know me

[Chorus] I need a hook so you won't be the one that got away
I need a look that stuns you makes you want to stay
Don't want to speak in case it comes out wrong
Don't want to blink cause in that second you could be gone
I need a twist to help me turn, turn this story around
I need a bridge to cross this dangerous ground
Meet me in the middle like I want you to
I gotta find your heart to shoot my arrow through

Did you see me staring you caught my eye
Don't turn around don't walk away
The night is young can we get together
Got so many questions feelings I can't explain
We're worlds apart don't even know your name
I'm longing to give you my heart
[Chorus]

Turn around don't evaporate
Like you never came turn around
Don't be a ghost forever never there to haunt me
Sliding doors they aren't just on a train
We're alone on a platform in the rain
There's a chance and it won't come again
Turn around your whole life has changed [Chorus]

LSS (College Recog Rites) - FOR GOOD

ELPHABA
I'm limited: Just look at me - I'm limited
And just look at you - You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
(spoken) For both of us
(sung) Now it's up to you:
GLINDA
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led To those who help us most to grow
If we let them And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you
Like a comet pulled from orbit As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you I have been changed for good
ELPHABA
It well may be
That we will never meet again In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend: Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea Like a seed dropped by a skybird In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you: GLINDA Because I knew you:
BOTH I have been changed for good
ELPHABA
And just to clear the air I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
GLINDA
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
BOTH And none of it seems to matter anymore
GLINDA ELPHABA
Like a comet pulled
Like a ship blown From orbit as it
Off it's mooring Passes a sun, like By a wind off the
A stream that meets Sea, like a seed
A boulder, half-way Dropped by a
Through the wood Bird in the wood
BOTH
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better?
GLINDA And because I knew you:
ELPHABA Because I knew you:
BOTH Because I knew you: I have been changed for good.

acadcomm outing: April 4-5, 2006

been waiting to post this... (pix galore, will upload the pix on my yahoo photos next time... there's a multiply account actually for this but i'd rather not tell here...)

ACADCOMM '05-'06: chemay, geo, leo, jo, joyce, ju, tottie and yhan.
(though tottie and yhan weren't with us nung outing...)

jan sa kamang iyan kami natulog na anim... *wink* april 5, matapos kami gisingin ni chems at bago kami pagurin sa nature trip at "sports activities" hehe:D kumain naman pla muna kmi ng almusal+lunch+merienda na sa mernel's (double L ba?) aus! hehe:D yum!nakakagutom naman! our Committe head: CHEMAY!ang mga lalaki ni chemay at ang mga DAHON... bago ang "paglalakbay sa bundok"... i am so not physically fit... sobrang napagod aq dito... ah basta ang ganda pala sa LB! sayang nde na kami nkapunta sa mudsprings! and sa fertility treee hehe:Dpresenting The graduates:D Magna cum laude ung 2 jan! astig! Congrats JU and GEO!:D
wla lng... ang cute ni jabi!:D hehe:D pati ng acadcomm:D hehe:D the guys doing their thing! along SLEX:D hehe:Dhaaaayyyy... dami pa sana... oh well... that'll do... gotta hit the sack
pahabol: next year ulit!:D thaks ACADCOMM:D

finally some update...

yes, i will graduate... toxic days are over(since april 3, deadline of grades...:D) and i'm all set to march on april 22! :D not with honors though... too bad, but it's ok rather than being delayed (especially when everyone's expecting you to graduate already...) :D
God is soooooo good... can't seem to thank Him enough...
i love my family, especially my mom...
~(segway lng)
Thanks to everyone!
ESC, ALCHEMES, PRIME
5th year ALCHEMISTS! good times!:D ("un"fortunately was among those who hit the sack early last FR. sorry guys, no "free" talk-show :D hehe:D)
HS friends... u know who you are... sorry for the "mood swings" and the hibernation...
hp, yeah after all these years... i still remember for you'll always be some part of hmmm... don't get me wrong i am not holding on... well, i used to but not anymore. (finally!) ahaha:D
acquaintances and everyone who's been a part of my life in one way or another...
~
but anyway, THIS POST was not intended to be a "THANK YOU POST" so will cut it short...

was scared of what i'm gonna do with my life after school (though i would want to earn an MBA degree perhaps though maybe in a few years time depending on what is necessary... or what field i would want to concentrate)... other than review...felt that review for the board exam on November alone with be such a waste... as if i'm such a bum and a "basura"... but God has plans... and i'm thankful... hope i can manage things though...

shux, i am now an adult! shit! i am no longer entitled to "student fare discounts!" ahaha:D whattalyf!