thank God for friends...

Panagbenga 2007 with College Friends
(sa uulitin!)
pics from Atan's site(and camera too!) =)

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crushed

so what is this trying to tell me? am i stuck here?

>>>edit: then again, i guess not! it's a win-win situation i just have to weigh my options carefully and think hard about the decision I would make... what makes me happy, satisfied, contented and proud... and if i'm ready to face the consequences... of course, time, effort, determination, conviction, principle, and blessing are essential... no easy way out...

things are looking good... the more the merrier! and yeah, count me in! sabi nga ni atan, it's a milestone! true! haha! :D giddy! giddy! now I have something to think about to get me through this week... s0 hopefully less stress... and less "negative energy"...

why do all good things come to an end?...

half of the week was hard... so hard i had a meltdown...
so yeah, bowdy's right, it does feel like a Golden Cage...
hopefully, i won't be THAT emotional again... it's a struggle... but I'm optimistic that one day I'll be able to overcome this...

it has come to a point where I pretty much don't care about the person anymore... and what he'd feel or others would think... there's a saying in our organization back in college before, "huwag kang mang-aapak pero huwag kang magpapatapak"... i don't think by being like this or feeling like this i'm already offending the person... there's just this what you call as a limit on what a person can take... I've reached that limit and i think he's gone too far... and that you've given him all the chance you can to understand and hope that he'll treat you maybe not nicely at least fairly... sabi nga ni January, tiis pa and tiis lang... hopefully, next week I'll be detached from all these negative emotions... para deadma na lang... that week maybe sort of brought out the worst in me... it was not intentional, and i sincerely hope that I won't be marked for life because of it... yeah, I'm still young and have so much to learn...

on the other hand, there's still no news which adds to my sadness... I'm wishing, hoping, praying for the best...

if plans push through, the weekend ahead might help...

better days...

take away the bitterness...
take away the hurt...
admire the sunset
glow in the sunrise
everything happens for a reason...
and we should embrace, conquer
not be imprisoned by it...
whatever the reason...
add them all together
and you have better days...
bliss!

**hey look at the sun, it's shining brightly on my life**

everything happens for a reason. It makes you:
1. appreciate what you have
2. rethink your goals
3. reevaluate your priorities
4. redefine your standards
5. aim higher!
Reach for the stars!

what next?

my take on my current state:

Lord, please show me the way...

savoring the stress-free weekend...

weekends should really be like this... though not easy on the purse

first stop: MOA day with Jake, JP, Cy, Cha and Katre... think: dinner, Night at the museum, impromptu ice skating and coffee afterwards in Greenbelt... priceless!!!! major laugh trip with bits of serious convo here and there... BUT being the Cinderella/KJ aka 'kill joyce' that I am, i had to excuse myself from subjecting myself to humiliation when it was red box time which lasted until the following day... too bad I couldn't join (when will I ever? that's why I gotta seriously think about moving out or relocating perhaps?)... There were quite a number missing in attendance but it sure feels great to be with the 'gang' again, (got the term from Jake). Hopefully on the next "gimik" I'll be able to join again!


ice skating was one unplanned activity but a 'cool' one at that! 'twas actually my second time only since like 1st or 2nd year of college! that LONG already!!! wasn't able to bring the camera on the ice so I'm just going to borrow pics taken by Cy in his phone when he uploads them. Somehow, the three pics that I have don't even come close to illustrating what happened on the ice!!! haha


sidenote: guys, if you haven't you should watch Night at the Museum... major laugh trip! but it could also be that we were just so stressed out with "work" that found even the tiniest of things in the movie as very funny. :p


second stop: Lunch at Leslie's Tagaytay. I have promised the family that I'll treat them for Lunch or dinner at Leslie's since like December of last year! Due to our hectic schedules which somehow do not seem to match it has been postponed indefinitely. I've been wanting to get the family to go to Tagaytay again since it's been so long that we've been to Tagaytay as a family. I was actually motivated during Erik's visit last year when I saw that so much has changed since I've been there last. Leslie's a start, maybe when dad goes to Sonia's this weekend he can then treat us there too next time. we were supposed to go there with my cousin but unfortunately, she was in the province... maybe next time :) Lunch was good but again not on the budget... but it's enough that they appreciated the fact that we went to Tagaytay to eat Lunch! ahaha :D kidding aside, my mom couldn't agree more on the positive changes. She could still remember the 'kubo-kubo' by the road before in order to get a good view of the Taal Lake/volcano... ooopppssssss.... all of a sudden I remember someone with the mere mention of Taal!
some pics:


weekends should be like this... at least once in a while... refreshing...

cold...

..::lost in space::..
..::uninspired::..
..::show me the way out::..

~prevailing thought these past days: sawa na ako... hindi na ako masaya...~

..::the stars winked::..

~pakner ley's in sing na pala... and i can only conclude na he's in the industry...major inggit!!!~

....when will it be me?....

(*finally a post*)

came from my cousin's wedding today where I was a cord sponsor...(didn't bring my camera along so no instant pictures). it was a simple wedding but a meaningful one just the same... and i had to try different means to keep me from shedding tears... i mean i totally can feel the whole ambiance and all... during the wedding march though no one was actually crying, and though ate is already at the "prime" age, feel na feel ko yung moment... maluha-luha ako... prang ang surreal ng lahat...

my thoughts:
~when will it be me?.................................................................................
i guess that sums it all up... though i would say to myself, one day i wanna do the same... but if there's nobody, then that's just too bad... so each day i go on hoping...

current addictions:
princess hours! ehehe :D

we're back and we're broke... (back-broke!!!!)
but i can't wait to go back...
i have to go back...
we have to go back...

Guys, sorry if I've been MIA...

pics will be uploaded soon... (hopefully, since i still owe the team xmas party pics. back-logs are piling... deadliest deadlines are fast-approaching!)

PPR time! hope it will turn out well... it's actually 1:37 now, since I browsed a little - well yeah, quite a lot. semi-technology dependent...i can actually go on days/weeks without tv/net etc... but not that long! sort of need to make up for lost time!!! ahaha

can't help but feel betrayed... someone has been definitely unfair... so not good for you... besides since when has it been "good for you". ahahaha...

australians seem cute! lims, i know what i want as pasalubong from australia now! *wink* >>> and no, i have not been to australia! i am but a middle-class citizen and i can only wish...

thanks

these came in today....thanks...

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL! GOD BLESS!

tiredness...

just got back from the oathtaking ceremony @ the Manila Hotel.

going mad on polka dots!!! ika nga ni polo: "annie batungbakal!!!" ahaha... well, at least i felt i stood out! ahaha so yeah, it's true as long as you feel good about yourself and what you're wearing... who cares what other people say! from the very start i was really going for a "polka-dotted" outfit. good thing i found one that is within budget! ehehe

Well, technically we left at around i guess 4:30pm but we headed to superbowl greenhills where we met my sibs and aunt and cousins. and yeah, yesterday after Mass we went to Makati to the some "gift shopping/hunting". not really have a long list but still have a few to buy still. so now i'm left with work-related stuff(i can count 5 on my list!!!!grrrrrr!!!!), semi-work-related stuff (ahem xmas party #2), buying the remaining "gifts", writing cards for the fam, wrapping gifts for the fam, wrapping gifts for around 50 people (splitting the work with jen), packing... whew! so it's really kind of been hectic. i wonder how other people seem to be able to do more. anyway, gotta catch up on the work-related stuff...

again, CONGRATULATIONS to all the new chemical engineers!!!
thank you Lord, for making all things happen...
thank you Papa and Mama, for always being there...
thank you batchmates, for the camaraderie and a memorable college life...
thank you janna and joddy, for the bonding sessions...
thank you friends, for all the prayers, chats, breathers, sessions, etc...
to everyone else and everyone (huh?!!!), for the memories, and being a part of my life.

pictures will be uploaded in my multiply site. (hopefully batchmates will give me a copy of the pix from their camera too! ehehe)

ATTN: batchmates, txt nio/inform nio nman ako please kung kelan kayo kuha nung pix! thx! :)

look up in the sky! pollutants galore?!!!!

they're so nice to look at (nevermind the damage to the atmosphere?). anyway, these pics make me feel somewhat better with my camera... i am not a hobbyist or anything but that olympus camera i saw in the papers one time was sooo cool! the one you can actually take with you when you're snorkeling... but fact of life, you can't have everything. so i'm lucky i have one of my own. that should matter more. one thing sucks though, watching the fireworks through an LCD screen!. i'll upload the videos (with all the shaking that might make you feel a little dizzy) on my multiply next time.

i have my dress for the oathtaking! Many thanks Sodexho! ahaha! really what a pleasant surprise... but still have quite a handful to buy or accomplish still.

Box full of memories

Disclaimer: Again pardon for all the drama, apparently I’m on this emo mode which I don’t know when will end…

I was digging through this “box” were I kept thingamajings with “sentimental values” and came across this unused card which I bought sometime in 2002… 4 years pala not three… that f*cking long already… I’m that f*cking old… I’m a f*cking overage member of the nbsb crew already.. when will I f*cking graduate?… or will I ever?

Words by Derrick Barnes

Never in my wildest dreams
would I have thought
that I would ever meet
a soul as beautiful as you.
If someone would’ve told me
that in my future
an angel would drop from the sky
into my world,
I wouldn’t have believed them,
even if they were psychic.
The things you speak of, your thoughts,
the way you express and share
your emotions –
all blend perfectly with
how I’ve always longed to feel.
If there is, indeed,
“somebody for everybody”
in this great big place,
my “someone” has arrived.
You have given me
a joy beyond words
and a love that everyone
hopes to find.
Seems as if we’re allowed
one true love…
and you are mine.

I can remember me especially liking the last line. As always, regrets… somehow I think I wouldn’t be like this right now if I did this and that…

not so random song:
Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go
Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I've finally realised it was forever that I've found
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go
I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see
Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry)
Can't you see, (ohhh) that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, (I should know) cos I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go
[Thanks to Swish2115@aol.com for these lyrics]