i'm ok really but...

aside from work-related anxieties, pressure and stress which are really an inevitable part of work-life i'm doing fine but...

honestly, all the comments, jokes (some foul/below the belt), unsolicited advices, teasings, "set-ups" are not just getting on my nerves but rather affecting me and bugging me. yes, i'm on emo mode when it comes to this topic but not emo to the point of being too sad or feel pathetic about it. I have come to accept my condition and lived on the notion that life is to be enjoyed. Single life is fun mind you. However, it's a topic i'd rather avoid if there's some sort of "misplaced pity or sympathy?" involved... I know I am getting old but really all these pressure around me is affecting me... I mean come on I don't feel hopeless at all because like I said, I am enjoying whatever life gives me but if the people around me think that I'm a hopeless case then that's really scary. After all "my hope/prospects" to get out of this "status" is that - my environment. For this particular situation or aspect of one's life, the opinion of idea of you matter - a lot i think. Maybe I should be thankful for these people who worry about me. Maybe I should heed their advice. I know I should loosen up and forget about the wall or the force field (which is really something hard coz deep down I am scared to get hurt. I am scared of the unknown.). The thing though is if you're projecting that you're doing fine with your current state (not that I am opposed to the idea of being in a relationship but it's more on a bonus at the moment and not like a priority. Of course, I would like/love to and maybe life would be better but the absence of it shouldn't stop me from living life) they'd feel bad for you. If you change your ways, it's highly likely people will call you "desperate".

destiny/one sweet love... where the hell are you? >>> like i'm ready to give in to all these pressure that i'm wanting one so that all these people around me would stop making a deal of my status already. This is so wrong... If it's time it's time. If there's somebody there's somebody. I hope soon and not too late...

It might be easy to not be single actually but I want to "fall in love" and right now I don't feel that... I don't want to be a fool in love but simply in love. Maybe it's my problem. Maybe I'm so dense or my heart has hardened already or it's just safely tucked in the farthest corner of a fortress... which one should it be? should i open the gates (to whom?) or should somebody break the wall first? is my "force field" too strong that not even a lightning could strike me?

guess that's enough for now... too candid already. If you're reading this I hope I didn't offend you at the same time hope you won't think I'm too pathetic though maybe I am...

One Sweet Love
Just about the time the shadows call
I undress my mind and dare you to follow
Paint a portrait of my mystery
Only close my eyes and you are here with me
A nameless face to think I see
To sit and watch the waves with me till they're gone
A heart I'd swear I'd recognize is made out of
My own devices....
Could I be wrong?

[CHORUS]
The time that I've taken
I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?

Sleepless nights you creep inside of me
Paint your shadows on the breath that we share
You take more than just my sanity
You take my reason not to care.
No ordinary wings I'll need
The sky itself will carry me back to you
The things I dream that I can do I'll open up
The moon for you
Just come down soon

[CHORUS]
The time that I've taken
I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?
Ready and waiting for a heart worth the breaking
But I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of
One sweet love.

Savor the sorrow to soften the pain sip on
The southern rain
As I do, I don't look don't touch don't do anything
But hope that there is a you.

The earth that is the space between,
I'd banish it from under me...to get to you.
Your unexpected love provides my solitary's
Suicide...oh I wish I knew

[CHORUS]
The time that I've taken
I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?
Ready and waiting for a heart worth the breaking
But I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of
One sweet love.