Disaster waiting to happen..

So clumsy klutz and stupid me strikes yet again leaving battle scars behind. My lower back still hurts. I've got bruises on my knees and a nasty wound-scar just above the bridge of my nose. Never mind that I also cut myself. It's like I'm either a disaster waiting to happen or a magnet for one.

Beyond the physical though, what irks me the most right now is the emotional imbalance that resulted out of plain stupidity. I guess it could have been worse: accident/disaster but sometimes I wonder who's to say accidents are that bad. Those accidents or misfortunes that we think of may actually be blessings in disguise (ex. the abrupt end of my assignment). After all, as I've said it's also about adjusting and making the most out of a situation.

Unfortunately, at the last minute, my guard/wall came down (again) and I found myself weak and vulnerable. It's a good thing, I was able to pull through and played it safe... Else, I would have ended picking up shattered pieces... Again. They say there's two sides to a coin and if I hadn't played it safe I'd be either torn or broken (go figure!). Kind of a lose-lose situation if I stick to the thought that I deserve better. IMHO, it would have been the latter, broken from rejection (again) and of another kind which was new and foreign to me. Gah! Obviously, I'm hating myself for that.

Don't get me wrong, I know my place and very well my worth. That's why I know this moment of weakness won't last long... It ain't my loss.

For now, stupidity strikes again... Grrr...hopefully, next time lightning na (kung sino man)...