Halloween fan... NOT!

"What you don't know can't hurt you." When it comes to spooky/creepy stuff I abide by this saying. I get so scared easily and my imagination runs wild that it haunts me everywhere I go most especially when I find myself alone. I rarely sleep with the lights out not unless I have company. You can just imagine the ordeal I had to go through and the courage I had to muster while living alone in a 2 bedroom vacation rental in Anna Maria island. Almost all lights were turned on including the LCD tv. It was certainly not an environment/power-friendly way of living but I couldn't bear it otherwise. I have watched none of those scary movies: paranormal activity, the ring, etc. My threshold is that low I guess that innocence is my weapon. That said you could say I am not really a halloween fan. Add the fact that I'm not one of those who goes out to dress up for the halloween parties.

Spending halloween in Austin back in 2009 was different and fun however. While 6th street was normally closed, it was as if almost everyone converged in the streets garbed in/parading their costumes. Of course, there were others like us who just came to see/observe and share in the "festivities". The costume party was not limited in the confines of the clubs/bars. Others were probably content to show off to everyone else their costumes and happily obliged for some photo op. While some were cute (the costumes/the wearer) others were creepy and scary. One was shocking in a perverse way we couldn't post it anywhere. (we took a picture just the same haha).

6th street revelry. good/fun kind of spooky.

We tried to get in one of the bars despite the fact that instead of queues people were funneling into the door. You get squeezed and pushed into the front. A white guy vouched for us at the door and then we were in. Then came halloween's real culture shock. We had fun but I guess we didn't expect that those things you see in tv do actually happen. Given our conservative background, people making out here and there (more than that it seems) was a shock definitely. It was late when we managed to get in, around 1am, but we were in for a treat as just when the bar was supposed to close (they close at 2), it was time for the DST fall back! Everyone was ecstatic of course! One hour extra more to party. Overall we had fun and just enjoyed the night the way we know and do it. Never mind the couple behind us making out by the trash bin. :D

check out the police in horses and the 6th street crowd!

Have some Chicken Rice!

solo order: roasted

I'm not new to SG but it's not uncommon for the family to NOT try the local cuisine when going out. I guess you could say we are not that adventurous. Needless to say, getting a taste of this chicken rice is not exactly down that road but maybe it was just not our priority. Eating was more out of necessity than of getting the whole experience and immersion.
Good thing a friend of mine who happened to be visiting SG the same time I found myself in its soil, paid attention to these kind of things. So there I was one day, in this somewhat out-of-the-way for tourists eatery. Yes, eatery. In SG, wee nam kee is not much of a resto but more of an eatery i think.

wee nam kee SG

The dish was simple but to me it was something new that is a must-try. Actually, scratch that, it was something I found myself craving for weeks/months later. Good thing, they opened two branches here in the Philippines. We got to try the one at Serendra and although it was not quite the same, for me it'll do as I can't afford to just go to SG on a whim based on some craving.

combination: steamed and roasted

So when in SG, have some chicken rice! :)

6 months and counting...

Several days ago marks the 6th month I've been clean. A few days ago, I had this twitter conversation with some of my friends: one who just joined the club and started to come clean and the other who's still hooked. No, I'm not talking about any drugs or such. It's a different kind of addiction, it's one you call social networking: facebook specifically.

Here are some bits and pieces from our twitter conversation:
-"too much trash info, things I don't want to read are popping out of nowhere"
and the rebuttal is simple actually: "declutter"
-"maganda na din na di alam ng maraming tao kung anong nangyayari sa akin... parang talk to me NOT watch my life"
-"I just found myself hooked to watching other people's lives when I should be minding my own, it's liberating db?"
-(my 10 cents) "it's a tool for self-absorption and stalking"
-"Sometimes you just have to be detached and stick to people that matter..."
-"it creates an idea that you need to know other people's lives..."
-"Those who matter knows. Those who don't, don't have to."

I guess we were one of those who misused and abused facebook and became facebook dependents such that the only way to regulate its use is by complete detachment either by deletion or the more subtle one: deactivation. Good thing they have that option. I, however, would like to think that we are not alone in this though. From an april fool's joke, to a form of penance, to abstinence from hearsay and gossip, to avoiding people and therefore from aggravating a bad situation, my reasons have evolved to what it is now. It's all those and then some. My friend was right, it is a liberating experience. Do I feel out of place/outsider? Yes, sometimes but not so much. Do I miss it? Not really. Does it get me when I'm branded as anti-social because of this? Yes a little. It's probably the only reason why I have not deleted it altogether. I am actually contemplating it if only as a read-only account that I can share to anyone especially foreign colleagues/professional contacts who'd like to keep in touch somehow. I am in no hurry though. I'm good.

They say too much of something is bad for your health. Before you fall into the pit of extreme stalking, of extreme showing off and being too self-absorbed to have to share everything whether in words or in pictures, stop. Slow down before you get hooked. It has its pros and cons but for me the cons still outweigh the pros. Thank goodness for twitter - made 'quitting' bearable and easier.

Remembering Ondoy

A lot of Filipinos will never forget Ondoy. It was one of those calamities that placed the Philippines in the global news channels' headlines. Flooding is not uncommon to the Philippines given that typhoons come and go in the country especially during the rainy season. It's not always bright and sunny in the tropics: there's the dry season and the wet season. However, back in 2009 Ondoy dropped a ton of rainwater in the metro than what it's clogged estero's, rivers, drainage systems and shallow lakes could handle. Even those not normally affected by the flooding were taken by surprise. It seemed that everything happened so fast even before people realized what was happening. Our family was one of them.

It, however, was altogether a different story for me. I was on the other side of the globe and though I saw some friends tweets of how heavy the downpour was, it didn't occur to me the damage and the effect it would have to our family. While everyone was struggling to salvage what they can, to stay alive and pray for safety, I was out buying some boots from San Marcos outlets and sight-seeing in San Antonio. It was not until I got back in the apartment later in the day when I was able to hear news of the status of our family/everyone else/Metro. I don't remember being devastated yet at that time although the anxiety and worry was way too high. It was not until the next day after a long drive to Houston that I was able to talk to my mom and hear the sad news/status. Helpless. that's basically my side of the story. You can't help but feel guilty of not sharing the hardship and experience with them. You think about what you can do to help, how they can rely on you as an additional helping hand instead of being out enjoying. Though you try to do your part in whatever way you can, communicating to relatives, providing directions, augmenting financially, you somehow know that you missed out.

There went my car. You can see the roof because it was floating. No one got the chance to drain its battery. (It's been revived and working now though.)

I guess you could also say that we were just not used to these kind of stuff so it was a challenge for us. Filipinos being resilient and all, we managed to pull through. It was a wake up call for everyone I guess - to turn around the bad into something good. It could have been worse, but it wasn't. Bulacan, who's been badly affected by this past weather disturbances will also get up, just you wait. Maybe not as good and quick as how Japan does it but in our way, they, scratch that, we will.

A lot of Filipinos may have been forever marked by the experience, wounded probably but moving forward definitely. I may not be able to lay claim on what happened or relate in its entirety considering that I somehow until now feel an outsider looking in, having second-hand experiences about the whole thing but in my own way as would probably other OFWs out there probably always feel, it was also trying. Try wanting and wishing and wanting to take someone else's place just to save them from the pain, suffering and the hardship and not being able to do anything.

Is the world ending? Maybe, maybe not. Amidst all these calamities and other disturbances I guess we need to be reminded to take every opportunity we can to do and experience what is important, to love, to cherish, to live.

Complicated weird mess

I've built my walls so high and so thick that it's a maze even for myself to get through them. Sometimes, I don't even get me for my quirks and pet peeves that make up part of that wall. I can't help but contradict myself.
I try to see the good in every situation. I try to stop and think although of course they either come in too early or too late. Too early that I overreact when it comes or too late that I've already overreacted. I think too much but not in a good way. I'm too wrapped up in my web of weird, coward, proud, selfish, complicated ways to keep up that wall.
I kind of wonder how can really one get through? Who can get through it knowing that it's me who has to let someone get through it. Do I have to rely on someone finding any well-hidden cracks to get through? So far, my chances are becoming slimmer-close to nil considering my predisposition.
I should probably resign myself to a life of regrets and single-blessedness.

Up in the sky

This world has so many sights, sounds, taste, feelings to offer both natural and man-made that not even a lifetime would be enough to experience them all. Of course, there is that matter of resources needed to do so. One can only dream of being able to travel the world and bask in whatever beauty there is. Opportunities for travel whether hard-earned or awarded/assigned are gifts themselves. However, it can get pretty lonely when doing so alone.

A gaze out the window changes things. One cannot help but feel a sense of awe, amazement, peace and contentment. It's a beautiful world out there. It's the same sky but looks and feels different everytime - one I will not get tired of looking at. Won't you?

Snap for a Tune: Someone Like You

Someone Like You
Adele


I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl
And you're married now

I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you

Old friend, Why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back
Or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over

Never mind I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don't forget me I beg
I remember you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead."
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead,
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday it was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise
Of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don't forget me I beg
I remember you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead"

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
And memories made.
Who would have known
How bittersweet
This would taste?

Never mind I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don't forget me I beg
I remember you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead"

Never mind I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don't forget me I beg
I remember you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead"

Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead




Side Story: A year or two ago, I would have probably cried my heart out listening to this song. I can remember the tears streaming down my face whilst driving in Florida over the haze through a drawbridge with Chasing Pavements in the background. Then there was that California drive with Kathleen to/from Point Reyes with Almost Lover in the background amidst all the trees. Yes, I am that EMOTIONAL. Not right now. Not anymore since quite sometime now. No more tears.

Nonetheless, I can't help but be amazed and love this song for the level of emotion it is able to convey and evoke. The beauty of raw emotion translated into a simple song. "If you sound like that, all you need is a piano". I am no critic, but I gotta say, thank you adele for giving us such songs that somehow break through the songs using similar formula we hear nowadays.

Vested Interest

There are times when it seriously sucks even though you're at the receiving end or more of a beneficiary. The thing is you start to wonder if not for that vested interest what then?
Right now, I start to think about whether or not other than my college friends I have other real friends? I guess it's one of those days where I feel alone and alienated from everyone else instead of appreciating what's here and now. Feeling alone doesn't mean you're actually alone, sometimes it's just simply because you've turned your back on the world.
Maybe I have. Maybe I am.

Fill the gap

A friend was asking if there's anything we wanted to get as she's coming home. Of course, where she's at, a couple of things are really cheaper. I've been googling and searching amazon but nothing interests me so far.
I'd be hypocritical to say I don't want anything. It's possible that I just can't afford or... The things I want to fill a gnawing gap in my life, money just can't buy them...
I need to get a life but how?

let's go to the beach: Calaguas

Believe it or not, it's the end of May and I have not once been to the beach nor to the pool! what would have been an Ilocos roadtrip this weekend vanished partly due to my sickness... talk about timing. In any case, I guess I'll just think about these wonderful places I've been to in the past couple of years.

June 2010: Calaguas.

The Bicol region scores high in terms of breathtaking beaches and tourist destinations. One point of destination would be Calaguas. I kid not that I had to gasp and marvel at the beauty of the beach when we first set our eyes on it. It was really beautiful. Check them out:

Walking around the following day, we found this "hidden beach". Didn't I say the place was just beautiful?

Since this is a semi-virgin island, there are no resorts in the area and one has to camp to stay the night there. While we were there, we had the privilege of camping with part owners of the island. Even when camping, they were able to mark the demarcation between us and them in terms of the social status. We started to feel like the native Filipinos, lower class beings to serve as slaves when the Spaniards occupied the country. I guess for others, camping meant the following: dressing room tent, bed cushions, mattresses, generators, electric fans, electric mosquito swats or something, wine using actual wine glasses by a bonfire, etc. Maybe that's what they call camping in style... Apparently, they were supposedly the owners of waling-waling beach resort in Boracay. Possibly the development of a resort in Calaguas is not far behind.

We joined Melvic's group which at that time consisted mostly of our barkada and two smaller ones. http://melvicbrinas.multiply.com

pictorial on the rocks

Snap for a Tune: Where Are You Going

Texas, 10.25.2009

Where Are You Going

Dave Matthews Band

Where are you going, with your long face pulling down?

Don't hide away, like an ocean
But you can't see, but you can... smell
And the sound of waves crashing down

I am no superman
I have no reasons for you
I am no hero; oh that's for sure
But I do know one thing
Is where you are, is where I belong
I do know where you go is where I wannna be

Where are you going? where do you go?
Are you looking for answers to questions under the stars?
If along the way you are growing weary, you can rest with me
Until a brighter day and you're OK

I am no superman
and I have no answers for you
I am no hero, oh that's for sure
But I do know one thing is
Where you are is where I belong
I do know where you go
Is where I wanna be

Where are you going? Where do you go?

Where do you go? Where are you going?
Where do you go?

I am no superman
I have no answers for you
I am no hero; oh that's for sure
But I do know one thing
Is where you are is where I belong
I do know where you go is where I want to be

Where are you going? Where do you go?

Rough MSDS as of May 19, 2011

If one would look at an MSDS-like description of myself right now, one would find the following:
Emotional state: complacent but easily provoked
Boiling Point: low and can boil even at ambient temperatures
Emotional Stability: extremely unstable and unpredictable
Freezing Point: Restless and therefore will not freeze (although being frozen might do good at the moment)
Conditions to Avoid: confrontations, hopelessness, bad vibes
General Description: a volatile, combustible substance ready to ignite and explode.
Storage: Do not leave alone with emo music and long silences such as road trips with no conversations unless very sleepy.
Spills/Leaks: water level at tear ducts are at critical level. Likelihood of crying is high and running out of tears is low.
Extinguishing media: family, friends, pictures, trips, Fluffy, alternatives

Honestly, I am having second thoughts. Did I not analyze enough and am I entirely to blame for what I am going through right now? and so yes, I crashed and burned maybe due to my work ethics... but then again, all I can think of is... It's time... to help myself. I hope I do the right thing and employ the same thought and emotional process as I did before so I will end up with the right decision. And of course, please Father bless whatever the decision and support me as You always do.

Where do you go?

let's go to the beach: Cagbalate

For some reason, I am not too keen on basking on the sun, playing in the sand and wading in the water this year. It's already mid-May and I don't think I've been to the beach yet or even to a resort with just a pool. Call me pathetic or anti-social fine by me. too skin-white conscious I don't think so. (thank God for rash guards!) flab-conscious maybe yes. Nevertheless, whether or not I get to go this year either's fine by me. This country's got a lot of picturesque, wonderful and breathtaking nooks, crannies and beaches. Maybe in due time I'd get to experience the wonder of the must-sees but so far this is one of those that has taken my breath away.

Cagbalate 2010. An island about an hour away from Mauban, Quezon.
What was supposed to be Cagbalete 2009 became Cagbalete 2010 due to the bad weather we had to content with. Not exactly a virgin beach but it gives you the feel of just the right mix of seclusion, serentiy and simple 'resort life'. There are resorts in the area but camping is an option as well (yes, a shower and toilet's available!). We camped out in Pansacola if I'm not mistaken as they were already fully booked.

Mauban port

this is not how you eat habhab

our "campsite"

sand ripples

long stretch of sand..

redefining low tide...

the water recedes way too far for a swim...

that far from the island and people are still standing.

don't know how to swim? not a problem!

If I can I want to go back here and just laze around... no night life here just "chillax" life...

online hiatus

Now it can be said:
abstaining from eating meat was one thing I grew up with but fail to follow from time to time, so this year i sort of decided to follow a good friend's example to 'detoxify' and abstain from all these online vices. I guess you could say I'm too much of an internet/social networking addict. I've got to many online accounts and although not all of them are active it seems it goes to show how dependent I've become to these things.

First stop was deactivating Facebook. Needless to say, this was the hardest of them all and I can totally understand those non-believers. Providing them a reason for this unusual act was equally hard. I tried not to and I preferred not to but the idea I guess just didn't sit too well with others. So unless they came up to their own conclusions I sort of gave them one. Maybe it was partly out of whim or some selfish desire to be out of the radar and to feel missed but I'd like to think that for the most part it was really because I was getting tired of all the negative things about it. It was too much prone to misuse and abuse and a cause for me to lurk, stalk and gossip. Really, it was not that healthy anymore. a good deal of my time I'd be spending just to peruse through the news feed, updates, pictures of contacts etc. It was a good timing to practice self-restraint at that time of the year. Although I initially planned on getting it back up come Easter, it seems it's better to live without it a lot longer... Thus, I am extending it indefinitely. I DO MISS IT THOUGH and it is really tempting to reactivate it just to browse again and that stuff.

I deleted my friendster and i think myspace next. Refraining from posting here was also another one on the list though tumblr, instagram and twitter became my refuge. I love pictures too much whether of people, things or places or anything I had to have something to view and post things to.

I think I'm back on blogger though I kind of feel too tired for this thing now.