He's Just Not That Into You

Come to think of it, I even watched this film before it got even farther. Still I ended up misreading the signs...

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, every story you’re told implores you to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope…

Spring 2012. South Korea

reset

Everyday I find myself making some progress little by little as I take baby steps but the more I monitor the progress the more frustrated I become. With each day I find myself resetting over and over. In the words of John Mayer, "When you're dreaming with a broken heart the waking up is the hardest part ." Just when I thought I've made good progress, the moment I wake up the following day, it's as if I'm back to square one. But I am hopeful that somehow these baby steps I'm taking will overtake the resets... eventually.



Gonna Get Over You
Sara Bareilles

Goodbye
Should be sayin' that to you by now, shouldn't I?
Layin' down the law that I live by,
Though maybe next time

I've got a thick tongue,
Brimming with the words that go unsung
Simmer then the burn for a someone,
A wrong one


And I tell myself to let the story end,
My heart will rest in someone else's hand
My 'why not me?' philosophy began,
And I say

oh, how'm I gonna get over you?
I'll be alright, just not tonight
Someday
oh I wish you'd want me to stay
I'll be alright, just not tonight,
Someday

Maybe is a vicious little word that can slay me
Keep me when I'm hurting and make me,
Hang from your hands

Well, no more,
I won't beg to buy a shot at your back door
If I make it at the thought of you, what for?
It's not me anymore

And I'm not the girl that I intend to be,
I dare you darling, just you wait and see
But this time not for you but just for me,
And I say

Ooh, how'm I gonna get over you?
I'll be alright, just not tonight
Someday, oh I wish you'd want me to stay
I'll be alright, just not tonight,
Someday

Say it's coming soon,
Someday without you,
All I can do
Is get me past the ghost of you,


Wave goodbye to me,
I won't say I'm sorry,
I'll be alright
once I find the other side of someday
Oohoohooohoohooh...
Oohoohooohoohooh...


Ooh, how'm I gonna get over you?
I'll be alright, just not tonight
Someday, oh I wish you'd want me to stay
I'll be alright, just not tonight,
Someday

Random thoughts 1

It just hit me today how I deal with something new such as work. As I grope and get a feel of things, I try to prove myself and make adjustments. I try to tolerate and extend the limits of my patience and what I can take even though it's not ok or against my beliefs. I just silently obey and go on... That is until I explode.
Yes, I have issues being diplomatically assertive even at work (new ones that unfortunately test the limits of my patience).
Thankfully I have channeled those explosions not to the office here but elsewhere.
In hindsight, I guess I could have been just an explosion waiting to happen. I just never got that far...

Another starry night

An old unpublished post from... Shoulda taken the hint instead I let myself get carried away by my emotions...

There are those days and nights where you just want to curl up and stay in bed... Tonight it's one of those for me. Thank you to a good friend for helping me sort out things and finally let it out. That I am hurt. I was going to trust the person and bank on what we had as my reason... But right now, I can't seem to trust that. I had hoped, i had wished, i had trusted actually knowing where I was coming from. It seems it's still my college buds who care for me and know me best... I miss you guys.

Happy Mother's Day

It's cliche but words are not enough to let you know how thankful I am for all that you are to me. For pushing me to grow and find myself even though it's hard for you too. For being strong for me. For being there to support and guide me, helping me. Still you make sacrifices for my sake regardless of the distance. You sure know best. Mama, I love you. Happy Mother's Day!

Snap for a Tune: Payphone

Somehow this song hits a nerve...

Payphone
Maroon 5

I'm at a payphone trying to call home

All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone
Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?

Yeah, I, I know it's hard to remember
The people we used to be
It's even harder to picture
That you're not here next to me

You say it's too late to make it
But is it too late to try?
And in our time that you wasted
All of our bridges burned down

I've wasted my nights
You turned out the lights
Now I'm paralyzed
Still stuck in that time when we called it love
But even the sun sets in paradise

I'm at a payphone trying to call home

All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone
Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?

If happy ever after did exist
I would still be holding you like this
All those fairytales are full of sh*t
One more stupid love song I'll be sick

You turned your back on tomorrow
Cause you forgot yesterday
I gave you my love to borrow
But just gave it away
You can't expect me to be fine
I don't expect you to care
I know I've said it before
But all of our bridges burned down

I've wasted my nights
You turned out the lights
Now I'm paralyzed
Still stuck in that time when we called it love
But even the sun sets in paradise

I'm at a payphone trying to call home

All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone
Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?

If happy ever after did exist
I would still be holding you like this
All those fairytales are full of sh*t
One more stupid love song I'll be sick

Now I'm at a payphone...

[Wiz Khalifa]
Man work that sh*t
I'll be out spending all this money while you sitting round
Wondering why it wasn't you who came up from nothing
Made it from the bottom
Now when you see me I'm stunning
And all of my cars start with the push up a button
Telling me the chances I blew up or whatever you call it
Switched the number to my phone
So you never could call it
Don't need my name on my show
You can tell it I'm ballin'
Swish, what a shame could have got picked
Had a really good game but you missed your last shot
So you talk about who you see at the top
Or what you could've saw
But sad to say it's over for
Phantom pulled up valet open doors
Wiz like go away, got what you was looking for
Now ask me who they want
So you can go and take that little piece of sh*t with you

I'm at a payphone trying to call home
All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone
Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?

If happy ever after did exist
I would still be holding you like this
All those fairytales are full of sh*t
One more stupid love song I'll be sick

Now I'm at a payphone...

Missing out on milestones

It's that time of the year again when my beloved university and college holds it graduation and recognition rites respectively. Some years ago, I marked, celebrated, reveled the end of my college life which also meant achieving that degree. Looking back, I would still say, college was the best years of my life more than high school.

wearing our sablay proudly

Fast forward several years later, 2012, my own brother attended his own recognition rites from the same university and college earlier today. I am proud of him, our family, the college, our university. It's a wild journey to earn your degree in Diliman and even so for the course my brother majored in. Maybe to some it's overrated and to some it is also a deal-breaker that will crush your spirit but to those who survived, it is one hell of an experience. You can never be ready for the outside world but life in the university prepares you enough to be able to adapt, survive and spread your wings. Para sa mga iskolar ng bayan, maligayang pagtatapos!

Oble at Sablay

Now, it's just down to my sister to earn her degree from the same university (and maybe college as well) as a new iska.

On another note, today we also celebrate our 5 years of service in the same company. Can you believe it? I've actually lasted that long in one company. Time seems to fly fast. I missed the banquet marking our 2 years of service and here I am missing out on our 5th again. Where I am headed after this assignment I have not been able to figure out yet. I do hope it is on to greater and bigger things - more than career and work.

Oh yes, I am definitely terribly missing home.

UP Naming Mahal

U.P. naming mahal, pamantasang hirang;
Ang tinig namin, sana'y inyong dinggin;
Malayong lupain, amin mang marating;
Di rin magbabago ang damdamin;
Di rin magbabago ang damdamin.

Luntian at pula, Sagisag magpakailanman;
Ating pagdiwang, bulwagan ng dangal;
Humayo't itanghal, giting at tapang;
Mabuhay ang pag-asa ng bayan;
Mabuhay ang pag-asa ng bayan

summer in the Philippines

So yeah, all those posts about people going to the beach back home makes me miss them beaches (pun intended). Of course, it's not just about the places but the people you are with - friends and family. Priceless.




Ilocos Norte (Blue Lagoon) 2007




Puerto Galera 2007




Bolinao 2008



Caramoan 2008

 

Puerto Princesa, Palawan 2008



Boracay 2008

Nasugbu 2009

Potipot 2009



Cagbalete 2010




Puerto Princesa 2010



Calaguas 2010

Spring is here. Day 41

While I have yet to see spring in all its colors, the temperature has finally gone up and hints of blooms and colors are peeking everywhere. I am so excited to see those cherry blossoms and take pictures. I hope I can get around maybe at least in the Namsan area: http://www.korea4expats.com/events-in-korea-Cherry-and-Other-Blossom-Sites-April-2012-Seoul-Area-6124.html (i do hope I have time during weekends as it has been pretty busy so far trying to catch up on pending work on weekends not to mention chores and series galore haha.)
After about a month, I managed to cross the street from my apartment headed in the opposite direction from AK Plaza along the Taechan river (I hope I remember the name right) and it surprised me that the trees there might just actually be cherry blossoms. I may not have to go far after all just to see them. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

this one was right on the sidewalk of my apartment building!

please let them be cherry blossoms



i hope to jog or even bike here one of these days



Day 29. Touring Seoul

So today, a colleague of mine took me out sightseeing in Seoul. I felt like a tourist and in ways, it felt good. My options in case boredom/homesickness gets a hold of me in the coming weeks are at least somewhat widening. We took the 8100 bus to Jong-no although I think M4102 and 9000 would also make a stop to where we took off. From there we did a quick check of this little park where there was a stone monument/pagoda encased in glass dating to as far back as the 1400's. I didn't note the name but there were at least two national treasures in that little park but it was well-maintained and did not come with a fee.



unedited

From there we headed over to Gyeongbokgung Palace where I felt right at ease what with all the tourists around me. I am not the only one lost in translation anymore! Of course, it helped my colleague and I were from the same country. Too bad, he'd be leaving in a few days time but at least he got to show me around somehow. The fee was just 3000 KRW which was not really bad I think. Before heading inside though, one can take a quick tour of the museum under the statue of King Sejong. This underground hall was for free and it was actually quite spacious. I can probably take a lot of time here just to learn more about Korea in the next days when I am back to being alone on weekends. The inside of Gyeongbokgung was pretty nice and if you have time to kill, I think it would be a good place to stay in, relax and take pictures. As it turned out I failed to wear thermals/layer for my top that my head actually hurt a little from being out in the open too much. The wind made it worse but come noon, it stopped. I actually appreciated the sun's rays to help ease out the cold.



behind this monument is the entrance to the museum under.



inner lake

After lunch, we went to Jamsill station where there was this theme park called Lotte World. We didn't enter anymore as the ticket was quite pricey (KRW 38,000). From the outside, the place looked nice though with decent thrill rides. I guess the highlight for me really was this sort of cultural show at the back of the department store at one side of Lotte World's Magic Island. I was really amazed by this set of guys with the ribbon spinning using their heads. I was not paying attention at first but when I realized it I couldn't get over how difficult (to me at least) what they were doing. Unfortunately, I was not able to catch it on video but they were also doing some sort of acrobatics while spinning the ribbon. Amazing!

Thank God for Uniqlo!

I came to Korea last March 4, 2012 unprepared for the weather. I had this wrong impression that spring is warmer and a little heavier jackets or maybe even layering will do. Though I did check the weather at some point, I thought it will be manageable. Coming from a tropical country, I have never been so wrong. I had to endure a full week before I managed to get two decent jackets more suitable for the cold, dry weather. Some of the locals did comment that it will get warmer but I have realized that so far, this was very relative - relative to the sub-zero temperature they had just a few weeks prior to my arrival.

Good thing the business trip to China last June 2011, introduced me to Uniqlo and what they usually sell. So when I went looking for "winter/spring" clothes, I made it my first stop. There is one just one subway station away from where my apartment is at Sunae Station's Lotte Department Store. And because of the changing season, I managed to score some sale items. I am still trying to build my wardrobe though (read: thermals) as I always end up a little short on cash during weekends. Uniqlo's everywhere and I have really come to appreciate it. I was not sold on it while I was in China. I thought they were too simple for my taste. Now, I realize, they carry the basics at a good price and decent quality. They have some cute items too but it would be wrong to compare Uniqlo with F21. I kind of think it's more of a lower-end M&S.

I can't help but wonder how the store would fare though when it opens its doors in my home country this June at MOA.

Myeongdong Sunday Day22

I managed to attend the English service at the Myeong-dong Cathedral today. The M4102 bus was definitely faster than taking the subway from seohyeon. Although, I had to wait probably around 20 minutes (I missed the previous bus), I still managed to make it in time for the Gospel. There were people from my country but sadly I didn't get to make friends with any of them. In any case, after the Mass many of the stores were still closed and Myeongdong was pretty much deserted so I had the chance to just walk around and explore the area while waiting for the shops to open. As the minutes passed however, several buses and policemen came to view in the area complete with their shields or whatever you call it. You know those things that they use to contain a protest or disperse a crowd. They were all over the area especially the main road (I forgot what it's called) but along the Lotte department store. Policemen were stationed everywhere the Myeongdong area (Lotte included) including the entrance to the underpass/subways. I was curious what was going on but I had to settle with the thought that there was some sort of protest going on.

  

see the police in front of this building

 Since I had too much time to kill, I chanced upon this restaurant on the opposite side of Lotte department store. Of course, when I saw it I knew right away where I would be having my lunch. Forget the fact that it is on the expensive side at least for me. It's not often that I get to eat xiao long bao so I ate at Din Tai Fung in Korea. It was definitely an indulgence (too much eating though).

Din Tai Fung in Myeongdong



SNOW! Day 21

So I've been here for three weeks now and it's one hell lot of a struggle. My reserve of courage and willingness to fight is dwindling but I have to. I will survive. I can do this. I just have to entertain myself, cry it out and take those steps no matter how small to adjusting and changing.

On other news, boredom got the better of me earlier today so I decided to head to work. On my way, it was raining white or in my opinion snow. Snow in March. Being from a tropical country, this gave me a small joy. I felt giddy I had to sneak a video. For a split second, I felt more like a tourist than an OFWstruggling to get through each day.

first vain shot inside the elevator.

relatively empty bus 55-1. because it's saturday.

Day 18

Today I was on a self-imposed/forced diet. I tried but I failed miserably. There was no English menu nor were there pictures. Next time I'll take a picture so I can ask my colleagues what they mean so I know what to choose. in any case, it brought my morale, self-esteem, self-confidence down. There are really a lot of things to learn, improve on, change and grow. For starters I need to be more assertive and less timid/shy. *sigh I don't want to be a burden to anyone but I am having trouble adjusting to everything so far.

I guess it also didn't help that I was mistaken about the vacation of my friend here. I guess I was looking forward to being with my race and familiar people this weekend and have some sort of breather on my loner life here (I can be more relaxed)... Oh well...

Girl, you have a lot of growing up to do. A whole lot!